If You Only Knew Me (43 ◇ Fajer) (Finale)

Dedicated to kn, asm, dee, z, shahad, Jawaher, Shahal, Amna, and the anons that brighten my day with their comments on the story!

Happy reading, 
Cashmere
***

I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if I would get back into this car with a friendship rekindled or if I would come back and have lost a friend.

I got out of the car and went down the stairs that once made me so excited to be with whom I'd thought were my best friends, but now these stairs reminded me of betrayal by people I had once trusted the most.

I saw Danah on her phone through the windows of the lounge.
I took a deep breath again, I just hoped this would end well.

I knocked on the glass door and she turned her head towards me, surprised that I'd arrived on time, before she stood up to open it.
As much as I was frustrated with her I couldn't not say hi, it felt weird not to especially when I would also hug her whenever I saw her.

"Hi," I said softly as she opened the door.

"Hi," she replied, not meeting my eyes.

She looked sad, like she hadn't slept for days. She wore a pair of gray training pants and a white fitted shirt. She still looked stunning despite it all.

We went to sit on the couches that we had once sat on to gossip and laugh. Where had once watch movies and play board games that took hours to finish.

Now we were here trying to hold onto the last straws of our friendship.

I looked around, taking in the lounge for what might be my final time at. The gorgeous mother of pearl table at the center of the lounge, the gorgeous beige wallpaper that held patterns and textures I'd only dreamed of, the artwork that hung on the walls. They carried so much meaning, so much memory that I just hoped I would leave still being her friend.

There was an awkward silence between us, who should start? I assumed it should be me since I asked to meet her.

"مادري شلون ابدي"
I said as I looked at my hands.

"من منو سمعتي عني انا وحمد؟"
She asked me, cutting through the chase and looking curious.

"نجلا وشيخة لما شافوكم ببيت ماما شيخة...حسو بشي"
I replied. I left my sister out of this.

"ليلحين معاه؟"
I said, feeling my hands gripping the corner of the cushion to suppress my anger.

She placed a tongue in her cheek and shook her head.

"رد حق شهد بنت خالج"
She said and I shook my head in disbelief, was I supposed to feel sorry for her?

"شخبار عبدالله؟"
She said with eyes that were burning with spite towards me.

Our situations were not the same...
 I desperately wanted to tell her.

"ما صار شي بينا..صج ان يمكن حسينا بشي بس قلتله يرد عند شوق وقلتله اني مخطوبة"
I did lie, but I knew it was better than saying the truth. As far as anyone knew we were just coworkers.

"اها اوكي"
She said, and my hand that was clenching the cushion was starting to sweat in rage now. This was a really bad idea.

"وليش ما قلتيلي عن خالد؟"
I said, my voice was quivering with anger now.

"لأني ما صدقت منيرة"
She said and I scoffed.

"شسالفتج وياها؟ ليش تكرهينها لي هالدرجة؟"
I asked her.

"مو شغلج"
She said and I just gaped at her, shaking my head in disbelief.

"والله حرام عليج على اللي قاعدة تسوينه فيها"
I said, disgusted at her. I remembered Muneera's message to me. She was desperate for answers, and knowing Danah I think I was starting to understand why. It was all making sense now.

Danah rolled her eyes and stood up.

"في سؤال ثاني؟"
She said.

"لا"
I said as I stood up, getting the hint to leave.

She sat back down, not willing to walk me to the door. I turned to her.

"ترى كنتي بحسبة اختي...وليلحين احبج جنج اختي...فقبل لا نفترق بس بقولج انج وايد انانية"
I said, feeling words just leave my body, uttering everything I'd wanted to say.

 ومنيرة مو من perfect وتبين تحسين ان كل شي  your control وادري ليش ما تحبين اختج...لأن تحبين كل شي بحياتج يصير اللي كل رفيجاتج فيها standardsال"
I said and her eyes widened like I knew what she was thinking.

"ادري لأني اعرفج. لاحظت من شلون تتقربين حق شخص من مستوى معيين ومن الناس اللي تطلعين معاهم اكثر شي...كلهم طبقة معينة، ماركات وجمال وفلوس هذا اللي يهمج بس لأن منيرة ,حتى لو اختج, مو نفسهم تحسين انها "مخربة عليج". ادري"
I said and she got up from the couch.

"بس والله انتي الخسرانة وراح تشوفين ان من انانيتج وتفاهتج الناس بيطلعون من حياتج ومحد بيبقى الا هي"
I said and her jaw clenched, obviously enraged by the truth I'd just said.

"برة"
She only managed to say through gritted teeth, opening the door.

I didn't say a word and closed the door behind me.

I climbed up the stairs in defeat, knowing I won't be going down those steps again.
I'd lost a valuable friendship.

I wouldn't shed tears over it. I was over it.
I got unlocked my car but just as I opened the door, their family car stopped right behind my car. I paused, wondering if Danah's mother would come out and it would be rude of me not to greet her. But instead of her mother, Muneera walked out with a confused expression before smiling softly.

"اهلا"
I said with a smile as the wind blew her hair away from her face. To me, she was striking. I would give her two more years until she would fully grow into her looks.
She had this unique beauty you couldn't forget; the diamond shaped face, the high cheekbones, her small bow-shaped lips.
Only her sister didn't find her so beautiful.
As if it was supposed to matter at all.

"Hi," Muneera replied as she kissed my cheeks. She looked worn out, like she was exhausted and was so close to giving up. I couldn't imagine what she had to endure living under the same roof as someone who was judgmental towards her when she shouldn't be judgmental at all.

Muneera peeked behind me, towards the steps to see if Danah was with me.

"Bil lounge," I said and she nodded, seemingly relaxed.

"شلونج منيرة؟"
I asked her in a soft tone.

"الحمدلله"
She said with a small smile, sounding unconvincing and down.

"بييون رفيجاتكم بعد؟"
She asked me.

I shook my head.

"لا ما اعتقد...بس كنت بمر اكلم اختج"
I explained and she nodded. I knew she wanted to know what was going on, but I didn't want her to hate her sister.

"Oh..." she only said, her eyes hardly meeting mine.

"بس عطيها وقت"
I said, finally talking about the subject we had been dancing around and she just nodded.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I knew I needed to leave.

"امم...منيرة سمعي..اذا تحتاجين اي شي، والله اي شي لا تستحين تكلميني"
I said as I placed a hand on her arm and she smiled softly. I wanted her to know that there was someone who was there for her. If it weren't her sister then I owed her my support especially after what she had told me about Khalid.

"Inshallah, thank you," she said as I got into my car.

"See you," I said, as if I would still visit her house. Maybe I would, but not for Danah.

I put my car in reverse and drove away from her house, wondering if I did the right thing by cutting ties off with her.

I continued to drive, blasting loud music to drown my thoughts, memories of me and Danah. Knowing I won't be listening to her talk about her brilliant ideas, knowing I wouldn't have their famous house dish, knowing I wouldn't be able to confide in her anymore, knowing she wouldn't be the first person I would call for advice anymore.

Yet I couldn't live in doubt, I couldn't live with feeling judged by her, I couldn't live with knowing how pathetic she was and how much it would affect me, even if I wasn't aware of it. I kept wondering about how she would react if she knew the truth about Lulu and I was more than sure she would slowly but surely cut ties with her, too. The more I analyzed my ex-best friend, the more I realized how sorry I was for Muneera.

I turned down the music as I reached Shake Shack Jabriya where I got out in a hurry; I was ten minutes late. I grabbed my cardholder and keys before dashing towards the entrance.

I walked through the sliding doors of the building and looked around for them and smiled as I spotted them at the table by the corner. I waved and they waved back. Suddenly, Danah didn't seem so important anymore.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I said as I hugged Haya and Layan while they were seated.

"Sorry," I said again to Abdullah, who was standing so I could scoot in and he chuckled. I couldn't wait to hug him too.

"burgerلا تحاتين تونا واصلين. طلبتلج ال"
He said and I smiled as I sat next to him and in front of Haya, the smell of his cologne was comforting and exciting at the same time. 

"عسى ما يننتك؟"
I said, raising my brows at Layan, who was busy coloring.

"لا والله كلش"
He said with a smile and it killed me...two more years.

The buzzer went off on the table and Haya and Layan let out a shocked gasp.

"خرعكم؟"
I said with a laugh and they nodded together.

"خل اييب الأكل"
Abdullah said, standing up and touching his daughter's shoulder to walk with him.

"لا انا اييب الأكل"
I said.

"شوفي ليان بس لا تنحاش"
He joked and I chuckled.

"؟your friend خالتي فجر عمي عبدالله"
Layan asked me.  I watched him, looking insanely attractive in a crisp white dishdasha that was folded up the sleeves.

"اي"
I said.

"Best friend?" she asked me, raising a brow.

"لا"
I replied with a chuckle.

"Minu your best friend?" she asked, curious.

"امج"
I said and she smiled her classic Layan toothy smile.

"يالله كل وحدة تاخذ اكلها"
He said as he placed the tray in the middle.

"مشكور عبدالله وايد"
I said with a soft smile and he smiled back.

"حياج"
He said before I watched his smile fade and his brows furrow at me.

"كل شي اوكي؟"
He asked me.

How did he sense it?

I shrugged.

"ان شاء الله"
I said.

Somethings could be better, but other things were just perfect.

***

Thank you to everyone for reading this story and supporting me.
 If it isn't much, I would like to ask you readers, even the silent ones, to post a comment no matter how small it is. It would mean a lot to hear from you on this final chapter! 
(Comment As, then scroll to Anonymous)

Is there a sequel to this story? 
Yes, definitely!

Will Abdullah propose to Fajer, just like he had promised?
Will Danah and Muneera's relationship become better? 
Will Fahad be back in the picture?
Will Khalid and Jana still be together?
Will Lulu find someone to save her?
Will Danah and Fajer be friends again?

We'll see in two years from the story, in other words, December 2018!

PS. Until then, I will continue writing one-shots on Instagram @cashmerepoison!