If You Only Knew Me (32 ◇ Muneera)

Happy reading, 

Cashmere
***

Friday, December 9th, 2016...

I hoped I wouldn't run into Danah or her friends at the bathroom again, it was awkward the first time. I walked back to the bathroom, with three women fixing there makeup but none of them were Danah's friends.

It was really sweet of Fajer to say hi even if it made things more awkward for the rest of the girls, but it was still nice. She looked a bit distracted...not sad but it was like her mind was somewhere else.
Did Danah agree to tell her? No, Danah didn't care enough.
Did someone else tell her?
Should I tell her? Danah would kill me if I did, yet Fajer had to know the truth.
I was too scared to say anything at this point. Should I send her a message on instagram? No, it was too serious for a DM.

I sighed and reapplied my lipstick, one of the three Fahad had gotten me and the one he thought was perfect for weddings. He knew me too well.

I finally had a mirror to myself to I opened on snap and struck a pose in my thin-strapped red dress before I sent it to Jana and Fahad. I would never send this to any other guy, though. I was more "exposed" than when I was going swimming and I knew my mother would kill me if she knew I sent a picture of myself to him.

I thought I looked nice in the lighting with my red dress that really flattered my figure as it wrapped my waist.

I captioned it with "lips from my F"

Jana sent me a reply just seconds after I'd sent it.

Jana: manouuuuur hot hot hoooot wallah send to Fahaaad beyiiiiiin!! umbay t3a8deeeeeen!!

She said and I laughed, feeling a hundred times more confident with how I looked.
She was still not over Khalid...and I wouldn't blame her. She was a bit more lively now but I hoped it wasn't just a facade, that she was actually getting over him.

I left the restroom and poured myself some tea from the tea section at the "lounge" area outside the restroom.

I saw my old school friends taking pictures by a tree that was part of the decor, they were really loud. I didn't really miss them much now that I had Jana, who was way cooler. I'd only hung out with them because Rawan did, but truthfully they all just hated each other.

"دوري الحين"
Nouf, my old friend said as she joined the girls for a picture.

I could see Salma, Rawan's best friend notice me, looking me up and down before she smiled. She looked, unfortunately, stunning in her long black one-shouldered dress.

"منّوووور"
She called out to me.
I kept remembering that time she threw a party and invited everyone but me because she "forgot", and Rawan actually got Danah to help out. I was never invited.

Me?

I forced a smile, was she actually calling me to join their picture?
I knew my attempt to look pretty was paying off now.

I walked towards her with a smile, pretending nothing had happened between us at all.

"امبييه شخبارج؟ تشوقيين"
She said as she eyed me up and down.

"-مشكو"
I began to say but she cut me off.

"Please 9awreena," Salma said and I could sense my smile fade. I grabbed her phone and walked a couple of steps back so I could fit all seven girls in the picture.
Typical Rawan and friends behavior.

"One, two...three," I said as I took a picture for her snapchat story.

"عطيني خنشوفها"
Salma told me as she extended her hand. I obligingly gave her her phone, which she snatched out of my hand. Rude, much?

"Okay thank you," she said loudly as she looked at me with a dismissing expression.

"منور هذي انتي؟"
Nouf said and I smiled.

"اي"
I replied with a smile.

"!امبيه وايد محلوة"
She said and I beamed.

"مشكورة"
I said, tucking a strand of curled hair behind my ear..

"-شخبارج نوف؟ عاد صج من زم"
I was starting to say but Rawan cut me off.

"انزين امشو ابي ارقص فيني رقص"
Salma said, ignoring me as she grabbed her friends arms and dragged them away from the tree

"!اكلمج بعدين sorry"
Nouf said as Salma tagged her arm and I nodded with a shrug.

I knew she wouldn't but I didn't care. I had two people who I wouldn't trade for the world.

I looked at my phone to see that I'd gotten two snapchat notifications.
Fahad replayed and replied to my snap.

Fahad: shinu hathaaaa manouraaaa!! ga3da tyanineeeni entaaaaay!
jameela jameela jameelaa mashallah egray 3ala nafsech wallah!!

My lips parted into a smile as I texted back.

Me: 7abeebyy Fahad thank youuu

Rawan?
She wasn't so much competition anymore. I'd won.
Suddenly everyone else didn't matter anymore.

I went back to my seat, sitting next to my younger cousin who was almost asleep. I got a notification from a new text from Fahad on snap.

Fahad: 3ad rega9taay??

I laughed, he knew how much I hated dancing at weddings.

Me: oooofff 7eta shar8y rega9t

I answered sarcastically.

Fahad: laaa 3ad elaa hathaaa ma ar'6aaa may9eer bs 7agy

I laughed and blushed all over at his reply.

Me: loool khalas no shar8y

Fahad: hehe 3ad raye7 al7een ilshalaih chan zain lo agdar amurech

Me: jaaad yabeelaa wallah!! 

Fahad: 3ala yom enthabe6ha enshallah

Me: eeeh lazem!!

I got a picture of him, looking dashing in his backward cap and plain gray shirt with a smile, his gorgeous gorgeous smile that drove me crazy with his two dimples, and he captioned it with:

 م ج ن

I hid my screen, hoping no one would notice him and I captured the snap.
My initials.
Those were my initials!
The best part?
It was on his story.

Me: ف ي ب! احبك والله يا بختي فيييك

I sent him.
The ballroom suddenly dimmed and I put my phone in my clutch.
It was announced that the groom would be coming in so almost everyone covered themselves up either in just their shawls or in their hijab and abaya.

 I saw Danah and her friends across the ballroom. Danah was stunning, as was Fajer, I couldn't help but stare at how gorgeous she was. I couldn't help but envy them, they looked like had everything they could want...from afar. I knew something about Fajer that would have everyone feeling sorry for her. Not everything was as it seemed.

We waited for the groom to come in then take pictures with his family and the bride's family before they went off to the buffet, akheeran!

I sent the capture of Fahad's story to Jana and added "umbaaaaay!!!"

People started to leave the ballroom to go to the buffet, and I left the stands to meet up with my mother to leave.

I looked around for her, but I couldn't find her.

I did find Danah though with a circle of girls around her age, each one more gorgeous than the other. Tall, skinny, drop dead gorgeous with the most beautiful dresses that cost more than I could imagine.
There were exactly the type of people my sister only befriended, people who seemed like they had it all.
Now I understood.

"يالله منيرة خلنمشي"
My mother said as she appeared next to me.

"ودانة؟"
I asked her.

"بتروح عند رفيجاتها"
My mother explained as we walked together to the car.

Danah was in control of everything. She didn't have curfews anymore...and I wasn't convinced it was freedom that my parents gave her as much as it was how headstrong she was. She really was intimidating.

"واي يالله خلنرد ننام"
She muttered mostly to herself as soon as she sat down.

I went on my phone and refreshed my snap stories. .

"ما شاء الله شحلوها فجر الف...هي اللي مخطوبة صح؟"
She asked me.

"اي"
I replied.

"محد قالج شي؟"
She asked me.
I gulped.
She knew about Khalid too?

"نفس شنو؟"
I asked her.

"ان شكلج حلو او بدلتج حلوة؟"
She asked me and I sighed in relief.

"امم...بس فجر"
I told her with a chuckle, laughing at the irony.

"وشعرفج فيها؟ خبري دانة ما ترضينلج تقعدين معاهم"
She said, as if this behavior was completely fine.

"gymاي بس معاي بال"
I explained.

"ايي"
She said with a nod.

We finally got home and I said goodnight to my mother before I went to my room, where I sat in my bed.

Jana: umbaaaaaay chathabaaaaa manouuroo shemsawya feeeeh??

Me: 9aaaa7? eyanin eyanin wallaaah

Jana: redeeelaa b shay qawi!!

Me: janouuuuy maby aftha7 nafsi ashkara ra7 ybayeeen o y3arfoun ilnaas

Jana: laa ya bgara bas 7agaaa

I was confused.

Me: shinu ghasdich?

Jana: send him shay chethyy sexy o 7ag bas 5 seconds!!

I bit my lip tentatively. The most "intimate" we'd gotten was drinking from the same straw and that was it.

Me: madry wallaah 

Jana: 5 seconds bas nazlay wa7ed mn your dress strap 9adgeeny beyin 3alaihaa bas oo pout your lips!!

Me: umbay madryy bas okk

I went on snapchat and  I reapplied my lipstick so my lips seemed plumper and colorful. I inhaled as I let one of the straps of my dress fall against my shoulder and focused the camera right below my nose so my whole face wasn't showing. I parted my lips so they'd appear fuller, pouted slightly and took the snap.

Jana was right...it really was sexy.

I took a deep breath and counted to five before I sent him the picture and waited for his reply.

Fahad replayed your snap!
Fahad is typing...
Fahad sent you a message!

My heart was thumping loudly now behind my chest.

Was this really happening??

I beamed at the screen before I counted to thirty and opened his message.

Fahad: la la la....
Fahad: entay shinu ga3da etsaweeen feeny
Fahad: lat3athbeeny chethy muneeraa
Fahad: ga3ed amouuut!!!

I smiled and felt my body rush with adrenaline at the excitement and my brain was so warm and fuzzy from his words. I remembered wanting his approval and now I had it.

Me: janooouy yan 3alaihaaa!!

Jana: send him shay sexier...khaleee eyiiiin

Me: nafs shinuuu??

Jana: kentay labsaa fur coat aw shay?

Me: eeeh laish?

Jana sent me an image of a woman, photographed from the lips down covering herself from the chest down with a fur coat.
It looked perfect and I smiled. Too much? I was so over the moon that I would do anything to get that feeling again.

I felt a rush of excitement run through me and I unzipped my dress, letting it fell to the floor and grabbed my fur coat.

I bit my lip as I hesitated to take the next picture, but I remembered how much he liked the last one and how he was traveling in a few months...and I didn't want him to leave me. He was all I had.

I placed the phone above me as I got ready to take the picture. I took a picture of me from the nose down and to just below my breasts, which I covered up with my the fur vest. I did the same pose as the last picture I'd sent him so the contrast of my dark red lips and black fur was amazing.

I inhaled, bit my lip and sent it to him with a time limit of five seconds.

I didn't know if I regretted it but what was for sure that I was avoiding his reaction, what if he thought I was cheap? I wore my pajamas and took off my makeup before I sat on my bed again to see the notifications.

Fahad sent you a message!

Fahad: ....
Fahad: manoura madry shagoul...
Fahad: ga3da tyaneneeeny wallah
Fahad: akhhhh akhhh basss ashwanich mo yamyy wala chan ma mesakt nafsy!!
Fahad: manouuuuuurr intaaaaay dinyitiiiii wili feehaaaaaa a7ebeeech!!

I smiled brightly, feeling relieved as I read his message.

Me: wallaaah i loveyou so muuuch!!

I sent him.
I would do it again in a heartbeat.