Tuesday, February 27, 2018

If You Only Knew Me (43 ◇ Fajer) (Finale)

Dedicated to kn, asm, dee, z, shahad, Jawaher, Shahal, Amna, and the anons that brighten my day with their comments on the story!

Happy reading, 
Cashmere
***

I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if I would get back into this car with a friendship rekindled or if I would come back and have lost a friend.

I got out of the car and went down the stairs that once made me so excited to be with whom I'd thought were my best friends, but now these stairs reminded me of betrayal by people I had once trusted the most.

I saw Danah on her phone through the windows of the lounge.
I took a deep breath again, I just hoped this would end well.

I knocked on the glass door and she turned her head towards me, surprised that I'd arrived on time, before she stood up to open it.
As much as I was frustrated with her I couldn't not say hi, it felt weird not to especially when I would also hug her whenever I saw her.

"Hi," I said softly as she opened the door.

"Hi," she replied, not meeting my eyes.

She looked sad, like she hadn't slept for days. She wore a pair of gray training pants and a white fitted shirt. She still looked stunning despite it all.

We went to sit on the couches that we had once sat on to gossip and laugh. Where had once watch movies and play board games that took hours to finish.

Now we were here trying to hold onto the last straws of our friendship.

I looked around, taking in the lounge for what might be my final time at. The gorgeous mother of pearl table at the center of the lounge, the gorgeous beige wallpaper that held patterns and textures I'd only dreamed of, the artwork that hung on the walls. They carried so much meaning, so much memory that I just hoped I would leave still being her friend.

There was an awkward silence between us, who should start? I assumed it should be me since I asked to meet her.

"مادري شلون ابدي"
I said as I looked at my hands.

"من منو سمعتي عني انا وحمد؟"
She asked me, cutting through the chase and looking curious.

"نجلا وشيخة لما شافوكم ببيت ماما شيخة...حسو بشي"
I replied. I left my sister out of this.

"ليلحين معاه؟"
I said, feeling my hands gripping the corner of the cushion to suppress my anger.

She placed a tongue in her cheek and shook her head.

"رد حق شهد بنت خالج"
She said and I shook my head in disbelief, was I supposed to feel sorry for her?

"شخبار عبدالله؟"
She said with eyes that were burning with spite towards me.

Our situations were not the same...
 I desperately wanted to tell her.

"ما صار شي بينا..صج ان يمكن حسينا بشي بس قلتله يرد عند شوق وقلتله اني مخطوبة"
I did lie, but I knew it was better than saying the truth. As far as anyone knew we were just coworkers.

"اها اوكي"
She said, and my hand that was clenching the cushion was starting to sweat in rage now. This was a really bad idea.

"وليش ما قلتيلي عن خالد؟"
I said, my voice was quivering with anger now.

"لأني ما صدقت منيرة"
She said and I scoffed.

"شسالفتج وياها؟ ليش تكرهينها لي هالدرجة؟"
I asked her.

"مو شغلج"
She said and I just gaped at her, shaking my head in disbelief.

"والله حرام عليج على اللي قاعدة تسوينه فيها"
I said, disgusted at her. I remembered Muneera's message to me. She was desperate for answers, and knowing Danah I think I was starting to understand why. It was all making sense now.

Danah rolled her eyes and stood up.

"في سؤال ثاني؟"
She said.

"لا"
I said as I stood up, getting the hint to leave.

She sat back down, not willing to walk me to the door. I turned to her.

"ترى كنتي بحسبة اختي...وليلحين احبج جنج اختي...فقبل لا نفترق بس بقولج انج وايد انانية"
I said, feeling words just leave my body, uttering everything I'd wanted to say.

 ومنيرة مو من perfect وتبين تحسين ان كل شي  your control وادري ليش ما تحبين اختج...لأن تحبين كل شي بحياتج يصير اللي كل رفيجاتج فيها standardsال"
I said and her eyes widened like I knew what she was thinking.

"ادري لأني اعرفج. لاحظت من شلون تتقربين حق شخص من مستوى معيين ومن الناس اللي تطلعين معاهم اكثر شي...كلهم طبقة معينة، ماركات وجمال وفلوس هذا اللي يهمج بس لأن منيرة ,حتى لو اختج, مو نفسهم تحسين انها "مخربة عليج". ادري"
I said and she got up from the couch.

"بس والله انتي الخسرانة وراح تشوفين ان من انانيتج وتفاهتج الناس بيطلعون من حياتج ومحد بيبقى الا هي"
I said and her jaw clenched, obviously enraged by the truth I'd just said.

"برة"
She only managed to say through gritted teeth, opening the door.

I didn't say a word and closed the door behind me.

I climbed up the stairs in defeat, knowing I won't be going down those steps again.
I'd lost a valuable friendship.

I wouldn't shed tears over it. I was over it.
I got unlocked my car but just as I opened the door, their family car stopped right behind my car. I paused, wondering if Danah's mother would come out and it would be rude of me not to greet her. But instead of her mother, Muneera walked out with a confused expression before smiling softly.

"اهلا"
I said with a smile as the wind blew her hair away from her face. To me, she was striking. I would give her two more years until she would fully grow into her looks.
She had this unique beauty you couldn't forget; the diamond shaped face, the high cheekbones, her small bow-shaped lips.
Only her sister didn't find her so beautiful.
As if it was supposed to matter at all.

"Hi," Muneera replied as she kissed my cheeks. She looked worn out, like she was exhausted and was so close to giving up. I couldn't imagine what she had to endure living under the same roof as someone who was judgmental towards her when she shouldn't be judgmental at all.

Muneera peeked behind me, towards the steps to see if Danah was with me.

"Bil lounge," I said and she nodded, seemingly relaxed.

"شلونج منيرة؟"
I asked her in a soft tone.

"الحمدلله"
She said with a small smile, sounding unconvincing and down.

"بييون رفيجاتكم بعد؟"
She asked me.

I shook my head.

"لا ما اعتقد...بس كنت بمر اكلم اختج"
I explained and she nodded. I knew she wanted to know what was going on, but I didn't want her to hate her sister.

"Oh..." she only said, her eyes hardly meeting mine.

"بس عطيها وقت"
I said, finally talking about the subject we had been dancing around and she just nodded.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I knew I needed to leave.

"امم...منيرة سمعي..اذا تحتاجين اي شي، والله اي شي لا تستحين تكلميني"
I said as I placed a hand on her arm and she smiled softly. I wanted her to know that there was someone who was there for her. If it weren't her sister then I owed her my support especially after what she had told me about Khalid.

"Inshallah, thank you," she said as I got into my car.

"See you," I said, as if I would still visit her house. Maybe I would, but not for Danah.

I put my car in reverse and drove away from her house, wondering if I did the right thing by cutting ties off with her.

I continued to drive, blasting loud music to drown my thoughts, memories of me and Danah. Knowing I won't be listening to her talk about her brilliant ideas, knowing I wouldn't have their famous house dish, knowing I wouldn't be able to confide in her anymore, knowing she wouldn't be the first person I would call for advice anymore.

Yet I couldn't live in doubt, I couldn't live with feeling judged by her, I couldn't live with knowing how pathetic she was and how much it would affect me, even if I wasn't aware of it. I kept wondering about how she would react if she knew the truth about Lulu and I was more than sure she would slowly but surely cut ties with her, too. The more I analyzed my ex-best friend, the more I realized how sorry I was for Muneera.

I turned down the music as I reached Shake Shack Jabriya where I got out in a hurry; I was ten minutes late. I grabbed my cardholder and keys before dashing towards the entrance.

I walked through the sliding doors of the building and looked around for them and smiled as I spotted them at the table by the corner. I waved and they waved back. Suddenly, Danah didn't seem so important anymore.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I said as I hugged Haya and Layan while they were seated.

"Sorry," I said again to Abdullah, who was standing so I could scoot in and he chuckled. I couldn't wait to hug him too.

"burgerلا تحاتين تونا واصلين. طلبتلج ال"
He said and I smiled as I sat next to him and in front of Haya, the smell of his cologne was comforting and exciting at the same time. 

"عسى ما يننتك؟"
I said, raising my brows at Layan, who was busy coloring.

"لا والله كلش"
He said with a smile and it killed me...two more years.

The buzzer went off on the table and Haya and Layan let out a shocked gasp.

"خرعكم؟"
I said with a laugh and they nodded together.

"خل اييب الأكل"
Abdullah said, standing up and touching his daughter's shoulder to walk with him.

"لا انا اييب الأكل"
I said.

"شوفي ليان بس لا تنحاش"
He joked and I chuckled.

"؟your friend خالتي فجر عمي عبدالله"
Layan asked me.  I watched him, looking insanely attractive in a crisp white dishdasha that was folded up the sleeves.

"اي"
I said.

"Best friend?" she asked me, raising a brow.

"لا"
I replied with a chuckle.

"Minu your best friend?" she asked, curious.

"امج"
I said and she smiled her classic Layan toothy smile.

"يالله كل وحدة تاخذ اكلها"
He said as he placed the tray in the middle.

"مشكور عبدالله وايد"
I said with a soft smile and he smiled back.

"حياج"
He said before I watched his smile fade and his brows furrow at me.

"كل شي اوكي؟"
He asked me.

How did he sense it?

I shrugged.

"ان شاء الله"
I said.

Somethings could be better, but other things were just perfect.

***

Thank you to everyone for reading this story and supporting me.
 If it isn't much, I would like to ask you readers, even the silent ones, to post a comment no matter how small it is. It would mean a lot to hear from you on this final chapter! 
(Comment As, then scroll to Anonymous)

Is there a sequel to this story? 
Yes, definitely!

Will Abdullah propose to Fajer, just like he had promised?
Will Danah and Muneera's relationship become better? 
Will Fahad be back in the picture?
Will Khalid and Jana still be together?
Will Lulu find someone to save her?
Will Danah and Fajer be friends again?

We'll see in two years from the story, in other words, December 2018!

PS. Until then, I will continue writing one-shots on Instagram @cashmerepoison!

Sunday, February 25, 2018

If You Only Knew Me (42 ◇ Muneera)

Happy National Day Kuwait and happy reading!
Cashmere
***


"delete تكفييين"
I told Jana at the coffee place we usually hung out at, it used to be Danah and her friends’ but since they sort of fell apart, we claimed it as ours.

"والله حلوة"
She said as she showed me the picture. I looked so pale compared to her fresh tan and professional makeup but she liked it.

She looked so pretty in an oversized white sweater with black tights and thigh-high boots. A bit too mature for my taste but it worked on her.
I, on the other hand, wore a pair of black ripped jeans, black top and white jacket along with a pair of Golden Goose sneakers. I definitely looked like a teenager.

"كيفج عيل"
I said, rolling my eyes.

"جنه قهوتهم تغيرت؟"
She said, looking at her cup of coffee.

"يمكن لأن راحو دانة وربعها"
I said with a chuckle. In my head, Fajer was out of the equation.

"اي الحين وايد احلي"
She said and I laughed.
She went back on her phone as she sipped her coffee while I uploaded a picture of our coffee cups to my Snapchat story.

I was glad she started to be herself again. I really missed her humor and how she made me laugh with comments my mother would kill me if she heard me say.

"صج تعالي شصار عاى دانة؟"
She asked me and I shrugged.

"خلاص ايست منها"
I said with a shrug.

Ever since the hug, which was when I was emotionally exhausted, not much had changed.
We still didn't talk.
There weren't even any small "gestures" that would mean a lot:
No "I got you coffee", no "do you need help on your homework", nothing.

I gave up on her.

I sighed as I drank my coffee, waiting for Jana to talk since she was so good at finding interesting things to talk about. I watched her eyes wander behind me until they widened and her dark red lips parted in return.

"امبيه منّور لا تلفين"
Jana said. I froze while her eyes moved to my right, as if looking at something, or someone, in the distance.

“Danah?” I said and she shook her head, her eyes still fixed on the person in the distance.

It couldn't be...could it?

I saw him from the corner of my eye now, and I watched him order his drink, like a bad accident I couldn't look away even if I had to.

I missed how his eyes lit up when he smiled.
His jawline was more defined as were his cheekbones, he was getting more and more attractive and the worst part was that he used me.
He broke me.
He didn't even look interested in looking my way, like lying to me was nothing.

Jana nudged me and pulled me back to reality.

"هو حمار"
Jana told me and I nodded.
I’d thought I knew him, I really did.
I couldn’t tell Jana that I still loved him, because part of me still believed he didn’t do all of what he did for me just to hurt me...or did he?

امبيه ارف"
Jana said as she made a disgusted face.
As if on cue, Rawan walked inside the coffee place, where I assumed she was secretly going to "meet" Fahad.

I so wanted to rat her out to my aunt but after what Rawan did to me, I didn’t want to risk it. The girl had no limits when it came to taking her revenge.

Rawan walked in wearing a pair of ripped jeans, Golden Goose sneakers and a plain fit black shirt, sort of similar to my outfit but she pulled it off better. She definitely looked gorgeous, and I hated it.

Of course Fahad would choose her over me.

She looked around, as if seeing who else was looking at her, but her eyes landed on mine and she glared, glancing at me from top to bottom before she turned to Fahad, who smiled his side-smirk at her. It killed me.
She smiled at him before glancing at me with a devilish smile that felt like a thousand knives digging into my heart, and walked to stand right behind him in the line.

I could feel my heart being ripped to shreds.
She won.
I could hate her all I wanted but she won.
She was prettier, and she won him.

I gulped as I continued to stare, I saw him being on his phone before smiling, while she smiled too and glanced up to look at him. It was obvious they were texting each other.

Did he smile like that when he read my messages?
His eyes lit up, he truly looked like he loved her.

"منّور يالله خلنمشي شلج بهاللوعة؟"
Jana said as she grabbed my arm.

"خننفنر بالديرة شوي ولا تجابلين هالضيم"
She said and I gave in, looking at her. Tears was now clouding my eyes and she side hugged me.

I looked at him one last time, just one last time.
I hated myself for looking away from his wild eyes when he was choosing lipsticks for me in Mac. I would do anything for him to look at me that way again. Or at least how I'd thought he looked at me...

I looked for him too long that he now sensed it and my damaged heart started thumping against my chest as he turned to me. His eyes locked onto mine and I froze, everything froze. It was like everyone and everything was blurred out except us...

I watch his lips lift up in a soft smile, but strangely, it didn't feel like he meant for that smile to make me feel worse about everything. It felt warm, and I didn't know what his smile meant.

I couldn't smile back, but I turned as Jana spun me around to leave the coffee place.

"قلتلج امشي"
She pleaded and I nodded. Holding my cup of coffee, we got out of the coffee place and passed by other coffee places, which were all crowded and we weaved our way through them. I couldn't help but notice how almost every guy took more than two seconds to look at Jana. She really was gorgeous and she knew it.
She moved a hand through her hair, swayed her hips a bit more as she moved. She knew exactly what to do to make guys stare in awe.

We continued walked to where the driver was parked on the other side of the building.

My phone buzzed in my hand as soon as I got into the car.

I gulped.

No...way.

"جنى"
I said as I slowed down to read it.
My fingers were shaking as I handed her the phone and my heart was thumping loudly against my chest.

"شنو يعني؟"
She said.

I read the message again.

Fahad: special

I stared at it again, and gulped.
Did he really mean it?

My heart was still beating rapidly. Jana handed my phone and went through hers excitedly as if she was dying to show me something.

She paused and sighed before looking at me. I was still preoccupied with the text, and I knew I would be for a while.

"...عيل انا براويج شي بس تكفين لا تعصبين"
She said as she bit her lip to show me her screen.
I furrowed my brow and looked at her, what did she mean?

I read the name on top of the chat.

Khalid

What?..

I looked at her, confused, then at her phone screen.

I continued to read the messages.

Khalid: enjoy babe gouleely lay reja3tay ilbait. o are you free tomorrow? ilshalaih khaly bedounich

I couldn't read any more and I handed her the phone.

"جنى شنو هذا؟"
I said as I looked at her, and her smile faded.

"شقصدج شنو هذا؟ خالد كلمني يبي يردلي...اعتذر وكل شي"
She said.

I couldn’t believe she was back with him after what he’d done to her. I shook my head in confusion.

"جنى ترى قص عليج اول وقاعد يقص عليج الحين"
I said and she scoffed.

"ليش ما تفرحينلي؟ انتي تدرين شكثر انا احبه...صعب اني اهده وانساه...منيرة سوينا وايد اشياء مع بعض"
She said and I knew what she meant by the last part.

"مو عشان شي بس الريال لعب على خطيبته شلون ما تبينه يلعب عليج؟"
I said and she clenched her jaw.

"لعب على خطيبته معاي، اكيد شاف شي فيني عاجبه"
She said, sounding convinced. That was when I knew she wouldn't listen to me.

"كيفج...اللي يريحج"
I said.
So that was why she was herself again...

I looked at my phone screen again, wondering if Fahad really meant what he sent.

I rested my head, all I knew was I wasn’t going to risk it now he was with Rawan.

I took a deep breath and despite that I still loved him, pressed on Block.


Friday, February 23, 2018

If You Only Knew Me (41 ◇ Fajer)




So sorry if the format is off, posting this off mobile so it might look a bit weird, hope to fix it soon! And thank you so much for the comments, love the feedback as usual!
Happy reading, 
Cashmere
***

Thursday, December 29th, 2016...

I trapped a smile as I went up the elevator of Mazaya to the meeting with Mr. Michael, where I knew Abdullah was going to be now that we faced the reality of our relationship.

"After you," Mr. Micahel said as he held the button for the doors to remain open.

"Thank you," I said as I walked out, looking at my phone.

No new texts.

We walked together to the meeting room where I carried two huge folders and my notebook.

"Good afternoon," the foreign men said as they stood up to greet us. I quickly scanned the meeting room and felt disappointed. He wasn't there.

I set my things on the table and sat down, waiting for the men, and Mr. Michael to stop their chit chat and start the meeting but they continued to laugh and talk some more. Were they waiting for Abdullah?

"I'll be right back," I told my boss as I got up.

I walked to the ladies' bathroom at the end of the hallway to freshen up and check on my reflection. I was wearing a long olive-colored vest with a short black skirt over thick black stockings and an off-white long-sleeved blouse. My hair fell down my shoulders now, growing from its usual short height and my makeup was simple yet a bit more than my everyday office makeup as I was attending a meeting...and I'd thought I would be seeing him.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair to add a bit of volume before I left, pleased with how I looked.

I opened the meeting room door only to see Abdullah at the the table, looking from his coworker, who was explaining something at the board, right to me and I could see a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"السلام"
I said softly, even if I realized that only he understood Arabic.

"وعليكم السلام"
He replied as I sat back down.

The man at the board continued to talk but my mind was elsewhere. I could feel Abdullah reach out towards his phone and I put mine on my lap in case it vibrated loudly.

I was watching the board, but truly my hands were gripping my phone, waiting for a text from him.

"Fajer, where are the minutes of meeting for the last one?" Mr. Michael said.

"Oh, here," I said as I went through the papers in my binder. My phone buzzed on my lap now and I froze before continuing to rummage through the papers.

"Here you go," I told Mr. Michael with a smile. As soon as he looked away from me I grabbed my phone to see the message.

Abdullah: thought you won't be attending

I smiled as I looked at him, but he was looking at the board. I knew his mind was on his phone too.

Me: thought the same about you

I watched his hand move towards his phone, slyly, before he read the message and smiled softly.

I could see him text from under the table now.

Abdullah: focus = 0 now

I bit my smile as I typed back but Mr. Michael interrupted, again.

"Fajer, would you like to explain your work for the past week?"

I gulped and for some reason my eyes ended up on Abdullah, who I knew was holding in his laughter and I looked away so I wouldn't laugh either.

"Yeah okay," I said as I stood up.

I walked to the board and began to talk.

"So after much research and calculations based on the data you've given to us I've concluded that..."I continued to say. I avoided Abdullah because I knew that I would either laugh or blank out. I focused on the men next to Mr. Michael, on the other side of Abdullah, instead.

"Great work," Abdullah said with a smile.

"Thank you," I replied, relieved that it was acceptable to smile back.

"One question, can we go back to the first of the month please?" his annoying coworker said.

"Sure," I said between gritted teeth as I listened to him blabber about the statistics for that month.

I watched Abdullah roll his eyes behind as he asked another question and I had to pinch myself to keep myself from laughing.

"Any other questions?" I said, looking around.

"I think we're good, thank you, Fajer," Abdullah said, saving me and I sighed in relief.

I grabbed my things from the table and went back to my seat, where I quickly placed my phone on my lap.

Me: bkhe9ou9 your coworker's questions??
Abdullah: والله لو تركيزي مو صفر الحين جان شنو بطيتج بالأسئلة...لا تشوفين شكلج وانتي تجاوبينه صج لايعة جبدج

I laughed and realized two men glanced my way when another man was speaking and I felt myself blush. I looked at Abdullah who was trying not to smile at me.

Me: looool fashlaaa!! oo yallah shegny b questions next time;)

I looked up to see him looking at his phone before looking at me with a smile, only his smile faded and so did everyone else in the room. My eyes were trapped on his, and it was like he pinned me to the wall again, only this time I surrendered. I didn't fear anything. I was with him.
We were interrupted again and the meeting seemed like it wouldn't end, but we kept stealing glances at each other.
“Thank you, everyone,” Abdullah’s coworker said as he stood up, concluding the meeting. It was usually Abdullah who did that but I guessed he was too distracted to do so.

We all stood up and I joined Mr. Michael right by the meeting room door, but I saw Abdullah smile as he walked towards us.

“Great work, Fajer,” he said, with Mr. Michael smiling at him.
“Thank you for your attention,” I teased and he laughed, while Mr. Michael was so confused.

“Sorry,” Abdullah said to my boss. “But really, you should be proud of her.”

I beamed at him, feeling warm all over now.

“Oh I am! I can definitely see her running the entire office in a couple of years!” Mr. Michael said and I chuckled.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mr. Michael,” I said and he laughed before he said goodbye to Abdullah, leaving us alone.

طبعا تدرين مايصيب الخليج تعبرين الشارع بروحج"
He teased, wiggling his brows and I chuckled. The meeting room was empty now.

طبعا"
I said, wiggling my brows back and he laughed. He placed his hands in the pockets of his dishdasha and we walked together towards the elevators.

خل اشيلهم عنج"
He said, grabbing the files from me.

“Thank you, bas khal asheel my pink notebook,” I said and he laughed.

We stepped in the elevator, which was empty, and I grabbed my notebook from the stacks of binders he was carrying.

“Next meeting tkfa khalny arakez,” I said and he laughed.

اذا عرفتي شلون تركزين علميني"
He said and I chuckled.

We arrived at the ground floor shortly after and walked out of the building. He managed to carry the files with one arm to wear his sunglasses.

يالله؟"
He said, looking both ways at the busy streets.

I followed his cue and crossed the streets when he did.

By the time we reached the street in front of my building we were out of it.

بكنسل مدربي اليوم"
He said and I chuckled.

“Cardio and weights ha?” I said, nodding with my head to the files he was holding.

بالضبط"
He agreed.

طبعا تعرفين طقوس ما بعد الاجتماع"
He said, wiggling his brows and turning his head to the coffee bar we used to go to and I laughed.

اكيييد"
I said, walking towards it.

“Logoتعالي صج دام خل اراويج ال
He said, mentioning the logo of his new business that was in progress. It was an app that helped business owners track paperwork and other things. I was genuinely proud of him for managing all of this while he had his own struggles

We entered the coffee bar and Jason beamed at us.

“Mr. Abdullah! How are you?!” Jason said, shaking Abdullah’s hand.

“I’m great, how are you?” Abdullah said as he placed my files on the counter.

“I’m good thank you,” Jason said.

“Two Spanish lattes and a brownie?” Jason said and Abdullah turned to me. I just replied with a smile.

It was so good to be back.


"فأي واحد احلى؟"
Abdullah said as we sat down.
He showed me two different logos for his new business.

"هذا"
I said, pointing to a minimalistic logo on his phone that was precise and to the point. He smiled.

God, I couldn't get over his smile...he was so pleasing to look at.

"كنت اتمنى انج تنقينه"
He said with a smile and I smiled back.
I may have lost my friends, especially my group whom I thought we wouldn't fall apart, but I gained someone I wouldn't trade for the world.

Two years didn't seem so bad when I could still be with him during the wait.

He made it worth it.

“Your drinks,” Jason said as he placed the drinks in front of us.

“Thank you,” Abdullah said, handing me my drink first.

He continued to talk to me about his business while I suggested some ideas to help his business grow and he leaned back while crossing his arms.

لا ضروري تصيرين شريكة"
He said and I laughed.

“I don’t mind wallah,” I said, taking a sip.

"بروح اييب البراوني، تبي شي؟"
I asked him.

"لا مشكورة"
He said as I stood up from the stool.

"Hi Jason, is the brownie done?" I asked him as I leaned against the counter.

“Yes, just a moment,” Jason said as he went to the mini oven, where the brownie was heating up.

"Fajer?" I heard a familiar voice behind me say and I turned around.

"Lulu?" I said.

I was still disappointed that she had betrayed my trust. Yet if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be here right now with Abdullah. I wished it didn’t have to be from that.

"شلونج؟"
She asked me. She looked a bit sadder than usual. I wouldn't blame her...maybe us, her friends, were her actual family. I didn't know how bad she had to endure it at home but I was sure it was bad enough for her to be too attached to the group.

"الحمدلله، انتي شلونج؟"
I asked her while she tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear.

"الحمدلله زينة. شلون الدوام؟"
She said.

"زين...زين"
I said.

There was an awkward pause between us now.
I should just get the brownie and go, I had nothing to say to her.

"فجر مابي احرجج او شي بس ياسمين بتيي عقب شوي"
She said and I placed my tongue against my cheek.

"حياها...”
I said, what was I supposed to do?
She just forced a smile...and I suddenly remembered how I met her. She helped me on a quiz in class and we didn’t even know each other. Then we got really close, so for our years of friendship I knew I had to say something.

لولو تكفين لا تقولينلي قاعدة تفكرين تتقربينلها عشان تصيرين مع خالد؟"
I said, and she looked at me like I'd just discovered the truth.

She was quiet and I knew I had to say all that I knew.

"لولو مو قصدي جذي بس كلّش ما انصحج...صج اذا صار شي بينكم بتطلعين من بيتج بس بتدشين بداهية ثانية"
I said in a low voice and she crossed her arms as she huffed.

"اي شي ولا الحالة اللي انا اعيش فيها"
She said, unconvinced.

"لولو الريال يشرب ويلعب على بنات ليلحبن بالمدرسة"
I begged her but she shook her head.

"حقي chance مالي شغل...ويمكن يتعدل...فجر هذا اخر"
She said and I sighed, this was going nowhere.

"كيفج...بس ديري بالج"
ّI said and she smiled softly.

"ان شاء الله"
She said with a smile.

"See you," I told her as I went back to the table to Abdullah. I just hoped she wouldn't settle for him just like what she was doing with Khalid.

"See you," she said.

We both knew we wouldn't be seeing each other soon...not for a while.

I went back to my seat and scrolled to the WhatsApp group with my old friends.

Danah and Mariam had already left...there was no way we were ever going to get back together, was there? I could meet up with Mariam and Sarah together as there was no bad blood between us.

Danah, however, felt like an incomplete chapter...and with all that years of friendship I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was my best friend.

I took a deep breath as I composed I message.

I need to see you

I bit my lip and hit send, I would deal with the consequence later.

"يالله نمشي؟ لازم اوصل هيون باليه"
Abdullah said and I nodded, standing up from the stool. I was so glad Yasmine wasn't here yet to see this, I just hoped I wouldn’t run into her as we left.

I could see Lulu stare at us from her seat in the corner. Knowing her now I was sure it was in envy, but I had faith in me and Abdullah that I wasn't worried at all.

We passed the tables and walked to the door, with me just one step behind him. I couldn't help but ogle at the outline of his back muscles under his shirt...two years seemed like a long time now.

He opened the door of the cafe for me to leave first and I smiled at him, now in front of him. Was he staring at my profile like I did his?

We got to the parking where our both cars were parked next to each other with a white defender next to us.
Abdullah's car beeped twice and I turned to him.

"Defenderشرايك بال"
I said, holding in my laughter and he sensed my humor.

"ركبي سيارتج بس ركبي"
He said with a laugh and I got in.
He definitely was the one.