Saturday, November 28, 2015

Don't Forget Me (58 Finale)

Three months later,

I was nervous.

I didn't want to do it yet I really wanted to because it was as if I'd waited forever for this moment to happen.

I was lucky I wasn't doing it alone.

I took a deep breath as I stood outside the door of the ballroom, and I looked at Zaid next to me, who was already looking at me, admiring me, and I couldn't help but blush and smile at him. He smiled back and I was head over heels over his contagious smile, his radiant face that showed a true fighter, his overall spirit that made me confide in him from our first chance together.

"Khayfa?" he asked me, as I looked at him.

"La 7adi relaxed," I said sarcastically and he laughed.

"Bnrou7 ma3a ba3a'6." he reminded me.

"Ubai la7'6a 9ij ili ga3d y9eer 9a7?" I said.

"Wallah 7ta ana mu m9adig," he said while laughing.

"Mn 6ayara ib Paris lay our own milcha," I said, looking over the years.

"7asafa ma3azamna ilmhawishchiya hatheech," he said and I laughed.

"Khal in'3ayer il8i9a itha a7ad sa2alna," I suggested while I laughed. Partially out of humor and partially out of nerves.

"Ha irti7tay shway?" he asked me.

I shook my head and laughed again, but this time out of nerves.

"Latkhafeen, 3rfay intay a7la wa7da feehum," he whispered to me and I blushed again. I ran my hands over my silver-colored dress that was custom made for me by some top-notch designer in Lebanon. I was still amazed at how pretty it was and how pretty it made me look.

The photographer told us it was time to enter the ballroom, and I was stunned. I grabbed Zaid's hand and squeezed it, which relieved my tension a bit.

"La7a'6tay my cane?" he asked me as he inched his face closer to my ear.

"Zaid wagtik!" I said while laughing nervously.

"Okay mashta'3lat," he said while laughing. I took a deep breath as I looked at him again before they opened the ballroom doors.

"Yallah?" he muttered.

"Yallah," I replied as we entered.

I couldn't see the people mn kithirhum and the amount of lights surrounding us, but the ballroom was so grand, so majestic it felt like a dream. It was so high, and adorned with pink and blue flowers that gave it the kind of beauty only royalty could offer. The pink diamonds on my neck sparkled underneath the lights and I could finally see my mother and Zaina at the couch as they smiled at us; everyone was smiling and I knew we had made it.

We had finally made it in spite of everything crazy that had happened.

We finally sat down and Zaid looked at me and smiled before he looked at his sister and my mother. My hand was shaking because I was so nervous and Zaid put his hand on mine to reassure me I wasn't in this alone. Ta3theeb mu milcha.

I was actually glad I wasn't having a wedding.

"Widich we ditch?" he whispered to me.

"Fee malyon shakh9 ga3deen yshoufouna al7een. Fa ma3tiqid," I said and he chuckled.

"Ga3da ityanineeni," he whispered to me and I bit my lip to scold him from saying anything inappropriate while we were in front of hundreds of people.

"Baskum suwalif la7geen 3ala ba3a'6, yallah 9awraw," Zaina said as she fixed my dress. I smiled at the camera while Zaid put his hand on my waist in one picture, until Zaina scolded him.

"Murti ba3ad shinu," he said, and I could hear some laughter from the crowd nearby, to which I laughed. Zaid ignored Zaina and even pulled me closer for the picture, and the crowd wooed at Zaid when he kissed my forehead. It was his crazy teenage cousins 6ab3an and I felt a heatwave of embarrassment rush through my body but then I remembered that Zaid really appreciated me, and that was all that mattered.

I was calmer and calmer with every passing second as I looked around.

Layal wouldn't stop smiling at me, and I smiled at her excitedly.

I also invited Lulu and Sarah, for the sake of our childhood friendship, and I was grateful for Lulu's inadvertent attempt to make him confess, or else this wouldn't have happened.

I did not see them and I doubted that they came. Whatever, I did my part. It just sucked that five years ago we were the best of friends who would support me no matter what, or so I'd thought.

My father just called to congratulate me, while Essa was back to not caring. I honestly thought his rehab was a sign for us to build a relationship, when all he did was try to ruin it.

It was finally time for the rings, and I was nervous as hell.

Maryam, Zaid's niece, walked nervously through the ballroom with the wooden box in her hands. 7aram she looked so nervous walking alone, well, with her  mother by her side to support the box in case it fell.

She smiled at us before she set the box in front of us on the table and Zaid called her over to kiss her before opening the box.

We both took a deep breath as we saw the rings, our rings.
This was real, and I was still shocked it was happening.
I knew it was my turn first so I took a shaky hand and pulled out Zaid's ring.

Zaid looked at me and smiled before I slipped on his ring. He looked at me again, with tears in his eyes, unexpectedly, as he put the ring on my finger. He tried to toughen up but he had to wipe his eyes for the camera to which his cousins wooed again and he laughed. Everyone did. I couldn't help but pat his hand to comfort him and reassure him we did it.

He smiled at me kissed my forehead as I held his hand and we took so many pictures I could barely even see from the flashes in front of me.

What made things even worse in pictures was that he literally couldn't keep his hands off me, which resulted in me beaming awkwardly at every camera while squinting.

"So btg3ideen b my wing akheeran, ha?" he asked me as soon as the photographers backed away a bit. "Maninkhash min a7ad," he teased.

"Zaid tara bagi shahrain 3ala il3irs," I teased.

"Khan6awif il3rs," he said and I laughed.

"Fa, cinema kl yom b baitna, wala shrayich?" he asked.

"Yallah laish la2," I said. He was too excited and I loved it.

Zaina came again to tell us to talk less and smile more, and we obliged for a second before Zaid talked again.

"Tadreen wain the honeymoon?" he asked. Zaina will kill him.

I shook my head before taking a "wild" guess.

"Paris?" I guessed.

"Ee, oo ba3ad?" he said.

"Fee ba3ad?" I said, stunned.

"Ee akeed," he said.

"Ubai madri," I said as I chuckled. Was he serious?

"Private island, oo ilbaji 3ad intay nagay," he said while laughing. Private island? What?

"Zaid latgi9 3alay," I said, still stunned. I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly over the loud music, but he did seem like he said "private island".

"Private island?" I asked him just to make sure.

"Wallah ajart'ha 7ag isbou3," he said while laughing. I couldn't believe him. This was insane.

"Maynoun tadri?" I said as I shook my head in disbelief and he laughed.

"A7ibich ba3ad shasawe," he finally said with a wink before he turned to the camera.

He finally said it.

This was unreal.

He was unreal.


***
So this is it. 

I really enjoyed writing this story and even more I enjoyed reading your reviews and getting questions about the story! I loved the enthusiasm!

So this final post (I'm still sad about this!) is dedicated to my most amazing readers, anyone anon who commented, H, FH, M, Maha, Kibuki, Shahad, Rawan, Bahraini/Omani, Gee, Jay, Aseel, Alanoud, Reema, Muneera, Gadah, Dalal, Sarah, Eef, and most importantly my most supportive and sweetest reader ever, @AlyaBlogger! (If I forgot anyone I'm sorry bas please don't take it personally!;p) Thank you guys so so much for reading (I feel like I just won an award and I'm giving a speech lol), bas jed you guys really make me happy and I'm so happy you followed through with the story!

Love you all!

Cash

twitter: @cashmerepoison


Don't Forget Me (57)

I couldn't believe what my mother had said. How could she just take back her decision after she knew how happy it made me? I couldn't believe that asshole Faisal and my two-faced brother.

Zaid called me multiple times but I ignored each of them, I bet my mother called Zaina to tell her it was off. I didn't have the heart to hear his voice; he changed and sacrificed so much because of me, and after that he'd be rejected because of something he'd done in his past that he wanted to move on from? It wasn't fair to either of us.

I didn't want to see my mother and just sat in my room as I cried endlessly mn il7arra and mn ilfrustration.

There was a knock on my door wala my mom walked in.

"Glteelhum?" I said.

"La2," she said.

"Shnu tan6ireen?" I asked her.

"Mara7 agoulihum," she said.

What?

I got up from my bed.

"Laish?" I said.

"Niyah intay mara, oo intay t3arfeena akthar mini. Ana gltlich ili 3ndi oo mara7 akhsirich 3ashan hal shay, fa ilshor b 2eedich. Dam t7iseena ta'3ayar 3ayal kaifich," she said.

I hugged her before she could say anything else.

"Yumma wallah ta'3ayar, thalath isneen mu shwaya oo adri intay khayfa 3alay bas 9adgeeni itha gltlch uhwa 6abee3ta mu chithi."

"Kaifich," she said. "Intay t3arfeena fa 7kmay b nafsich bas ga3da a7ateech ka ummich," she said.

"Mashkoura yuma bas lat7ateen wallah," I assured her.

She smiled before leaving my room and once she did I called Zaid back immediately.

"Ubai sorry wallah," I said.

He chuckled. "La 3adi, kint abi ashouf itha ga3da aw la2 3ashan agoulich ina Zaina tabi tkalmich brou7kum, 3adi?" he said.

"Zaina? Ee sure bas mita?" I said.

"Bacher 3ala ilkhams?" he asked.

"Ee okay ma3indi shay. Bas bashoufik 9a7?" I said.

"Akeed," he said with a chuckle before hanging up.

/

The next day

I was so nervous. I made sure I was super well dressed to impress. The maid directed me to the main garden where the table was set, and where Zaina was. My heart was pounding so loud I bet she heard it before hearing my footsteps.

"Ilsalam," I said as I smiled and kissed her on both cheeks.

"W 3alaykum ilsalam, shlonich Omniyah?" she asked me, formally. At least she didn't hate me.

"Il7mdilah bkhair, intay shlonich?"

"Tamam il7mdillah," she said. She offered me tea and a cupcake, which I took out of respect.

"Fa kint abeech ityeen 3ashan a3arfich akthar," she said and I nodded. I felt like it was a job interview.

"Bas gabil la abdi abi at2asaf minich. Knt wayid khayfa 3ala Zaid, oo 7asbali intay nafs ilbanat ilthanyeen yaboun Zaid 7ag shay thani, bas shiftich ma3ah bl carnival oo kilish matwaqa3t ili by9eer. Zaid gali kl shay, oo fashlana mn nafsi wallah fa sam7eeni," she said, chuckling a bit in awkwardness but I smiled and told her I didn't blame her, and that Zaid considered her a second mother to him, which made her a bit emotional.

"Mashkoura," she said, and I smiled in return.

"Fa shkintay tabeen t3arfeen 3ani?" I asked while flashing her a smile to put her at ease.

She asked me a lot of things, about where I studied, where I worked, who my family was. I told her the truth about my dad's side of the family, that I didn't see them often but she said Zaid explained to her that I tried my best to make amends and the lack of relationship wasn't on my part. I had Zaid to thank.

"Oo yallah, intay dorich tis2ileeni," she asked, smiling at me.

I asked her about her in-laws, and what their usual "traditions" in their families were, even though I knew most of them. I didn't know that they had breakfast at their grandmother's house at Eid though. She told me who their relatives were, and they were all from well-known, wealthy families and I felt like the odd one out, but I guessed Zaid really put up a fight to get them to approve of me.

We then began to talk casually about other things, fashion, Paris, movies, and a bunch of other stuff until we lost track of time and it was dark outside.

"Lail7een?" Zaid interrupted us while smiling. He looked so fresh in a pair of jeans and a sweater. I could see him light up at the sight of me. I wanted to hug him and I knew it was just a matter of time until I was able to do so, and I was so sick of waiting.

"Ha t'3ar?" Zaina asked.

"Kilish," Zaid teased as he took a seat at the table and I chuckled.

"Ana lazim amshi, bas Omniyah wallah mashkoura 3ala ilyaya oo fur9a sa3eeda shftich," she said as she kissed me again. I could see Zaid smiling at the sight, and I knew he was content.

"Fa, akheeran?" he said.

"Akheeran," I replied. I'd never, ever tell him that my mother nearly disapproved of him because of his past which he'd moved on from. I didn't want him to think he did everything for nothing, because he did more than I could ask for.


***
Dedicated to FH!:*

twitter: @cashmerepoison

Friday, November 27, 2015

Don't Forget Me (56)

I was texting Zaid in the living room. We texted for so long and so much that I had to charge my phone five times.

My mother walked in, wayihha china a7ad ma36eeha 6rag.

"Yuma shfeech?" I sai as I stood up from the couch while my mother sat down so I sat down with her.

"Khaltich Salwa daga 3alay," she said.

Shit, this was not good.

"Inzain?" I said. She huffed.

"Faisal kan yabe yshoufich mara thanya bas gltlihum inich makh6ouba 7ag a7ad thani," she said. Why did she even say that?

"Inzain?" I said.

"Dara ina Zaid uhwa ili kha6bich oo khaltich Salwa 6arishatli video. Omniyah shinu hatha?" she said, almost yelling.

I gulped.

"Yuma hal video qadeem, kan 9'3eer ihni oo hatha gabl la yt'3ayar," I told her.

"Omniyah hal video chayid, shinu hatha?" she said, unbelieving.

"Yuma gltlich ta'3ayar," I begged her.

"Hatha mata'6mineen mayrid nafs awal," she said.

"Yuma tara bas kan cham shahar chithi!" I explained.

"Bas ha?" she said.

"Yuma 7aram tara wallah 7ail mt7asif 3ala illi sawa oo bas khala9 yabi y9ik ilmaw'6ou3," I said. This couldn't be real. I wanted to kill Faisal.

"Oo kalamt ubouch tawa. Essa galla ina kan yt3amal ma3ah?" she said. So now Essa ili lail7een mayadri 3ani faj2a raz wayha?

I'd visited him a couple of times every month for the past three years and he'd always pretend I wasn't there. At first I thought it was maybe the addiction taking its toll on him, but it turns out he didn't really believe I was his sister, like chinna wa7da mu 9ijiya 3nda. I wasn't really mad as I knew it was just his wrong way of thinking from everything that had impacted him, it just made me sad a bit.

In every visit I'd force myself to make conversation, to which he'd mutter a couple of words and that was it. There was no use of trying. So I slowly reduced my visits, just in case my visits were making him miserable and therefore less likely to recover from his addiction.

I thought it was unfortunate; I'd honestly believed that this was an opportunity for us to reconcile our already nonexistent relationship, to finally have that sibling bond that I'd never had. However, it was anything but...

I was so pissed at both Faisal and Essa for trying to "look out" for me when all they did that for was out of spite.

"Gltlich yuma bas cham shahar kan chithi!" I said, and before I realized it tears were streaming down my face.
"3ayal laish ma ista3yal oo kha6abni? Laish n6ar thalath isneen 3ashan yakh6bni?! Yuma tkfain, mara7 ar'6a b a7ad '3aira!" I said. I finally said it.

My mother only stared at me.

"Omniyah shbigouloun 3ankum itha khathaitee? Ygouloun 3anna li3eeb oo 3annich maga9a," she said. I couldn't believe what I was listening.

"Ubai yuma ana sh3alay mn shigoulouna ilnas? Ana ili batzawaja wala uhma?" I said as I cried.

"Yuma 7aram 3alaich, tadreen shkithir uhwa yabeeni oo ana abee," I said as I shook my head. She only looked at the ground and turned around.


***
Thank you so much for your sweet comments on the last post! :*

twitter: @cashmerepoison





Don't Forget Me (55)

"Matabeen shay?" my mom said as we left Cartier in Salhiya. We had reserved a table for lunch at Lorenzo Salhiya, and my mom wanted to get me something for my birthday.

"La mashkoura, 7ail yi3t," I confessed. It wasn't the reason I didn't want anything from Cartier. I'd avoided the bracelet area like the plague and just went around the earring and necklace sections. Honestly I didn't expect to act this way in the store.

"Mt2akda? Wala inridla 3ugub ma nt'3ada?" she asked me.

"La wallah yuma mashkoura," I told her.

"Inzain may9eer makhathaitlich shay 7ag 3eed meladich," she told me.

"A7san l2ana ga3da a7is ini wayid kubart," I teased.

"La wallah? 3ayal ana shagoul?" she told me as we laughed. I was right; it only took a matter of time and patience to mend my mother's trust in me. We were back as strong as ever, and honestly that mattered to me more than anything else.

"Yallah imshay 3ayal khal inrou7 nakil," she said as we left the store to walk to the restaurant b the plaza in front of us.

"Madam," the security called us.

"Yuma akhaf libastay shay bl '3ala6?" I teased.

"La wallah," she said as she checked her wrists.

"You forgot your bag," he said.

"Wee 9aj," my mom said as I rolled my eyes at her forgetfulness and followed her inside the store but I froze at the entrance.

Zaid was standing right in front of me, flashing me a bright smile as he held a Cartier love bracelet box in his hand.

This wasn't real, was it?

After three years?

"Zaid?" I said, putting my hand on my lips. I couldn't believe it.

"Gltlich bakhithlich wa7id thani, 9a7?" he said as he cocked his brow.
God, he looked so good, so radiant that it nearly drove me insane. He looked so proper in a dishdasha, and I remembered that he'd always been nice to look at in it. This time it was even better.

"Tadreen shinu?" he asked me. "China yabeelich shay zyada," he added before I got a chance to ask him what.  I was so stunned at everything.

He pulled out a smaller box from his pocket.

I couldn't believe it.

He opened the box to reveal a beautiful, large diamond engagement ring.

What? Really?

"Zaid 9ij?" I said, not believing.

I looked at my mom who was smiling at me and nodding. I'd thought she said no, that we weren't a fit.

"Wait shlon?" I said as I shook my head in confusion. This had to be a dream, hadn't it?

He only winked and I laughed.

"Fa?" he asked me.

"Akeed ee," I said as I laughed and my mother came to hug me. I was so shocked that I couldn't feel anything, it all happened so fast.

I could see him turn around to wipe his eyes, and I began to tear up at that sight as my mother laughed at me, worrying about my makeup.

"Yuma 9ij?" I said.

"Ee wallah 9ij!" she said.

Her phone rang wala Lorenzo was calling, telling her our table was ready.

"Yallah lazim namshi," she said.

"Umm okay," I said, I wasn't done with Zaid at all. I wanted to talk to him, to ask him how he was, what he was doing, how he managed to pull off this engagement after what my mother had told me. I was still so surprised at what had just happened.

"Inshoufik inshallah Zaid," my mom said as Zaid collected himself.

"Inshallah 3amiti," he said, and my heart jumped when he smiled at me.

I smiled at him before I left and bombarded my mom with questions.

"Yuma la7'6a shlon? Oo kntaw mitafqeen 3ala hal surprise? Ubai la7'6a a9lan shlon kha6a6taw kil hatha?" I asked her as we walked to Lorenzo.

"Bismillah ni6ray khal neg3ad!" she said as she laughed.

I was above the clouds, and smiled when I got my first message from Zaid in three years.

Did I say how much I've missed you? 
I'm so sorry it took a very long time, but I wanted to make sure I was the best version of myself. I just hope I don't disappoint you. 

PS. You reminded me of Catwoman.

I laughed at the end of the text, I really looked forward to it. I was too excited to talk to my mom to reply to him now.

We sat at the table and I quickly ordered so we'd talk over bread.

"Inzain sh9ar?" I said and she took a deep breath, I knew ilsalfa 6uweela.

"Dag 3alay w intay blshi'3l gali yabi ykalimni. Gltla la2 awal shay bas '3ayart rayi l2ana 7asaitich na6rita, fa glt ashouf shlona oo ya 3indina ilbait oo kalamni uhwa ma3a ikhta," she said. Zaina came?

"Inzain?" I said as I stuffed a piece of bread in my mouth. I should probably stop.

"Wallah awal shay knt mu mtqablita min darait 3ankum, bas shway shway la7a'6t ina lama tikalam 9ij ytkalam 3an wa7da y7ibha bshakil mu 6abee3i. 7asait y3arfich akthar mini 7ta," she said with a chuckle.

"Oo gali innich kntay ilshay ilwa7eed ili msa3ada lama tuwafat uma, oo galli ina kan 3nda mashakil bas ta'3ayar minich oo 3ashanich oo khatha thalath isneen 3ashan yt3adal. Mbayin ilwalad jad, ana kan 7asbali uhwa shay thani bas '6alamta. Kanat m2athyatni salfat ina uhwa '3air 3anna, bas ga3adt agoul lo shinu balga a7ad nafsa. Oo adri kintay tan6ireena, fa laish a7ir nafsi dam intaw kbar oo t3arfoun 3an hal shay," she said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing to I put my hands to my lips and got up from my seat to hug my mom even though I looked really weird in the restaurant.

"Yabakhta feech," she said with a smile, and I could feel my skin blush.

"Bas ikhta kanat mawjouda? '3areeba!" I said.

"Ee wallah kanat mtqabla ilwa'63, 7ta ana ista'3rabt. La oo itsolif sh7ilouha," she said.

I was definitely going to ask Zaid about that.

Our food arrived so my mom talked some more about how Zaid convinced her.

"Adri uhwa mara7 yakhith '3airich wala intay btakhtheen '3aira," she said. I smiled. It was true.

We finished our food and headed to the parking, I was admiring my new Cartier bracelet, which glistened against my wrist. I knew this was just the beginning of him spoiling me. I wasn't materialistic but he had great taste. My god.

 I'm still so shocked. I'm so so proud of you.
I can't express how happy I am. Finally. 

PS. I didn't remember Bruce Wayne looking so good. 

I replied.

Thank you, you have no idea how much your words mean to me. How much you mean to me. 

PS. I chose my favorite cane for today, did you notice?

I giggled and my mother stared at me and smiled, knowing I was talking to him. I loved how I didn't feel guilty anymore about talking to him.

My mother told me Zaina came over with you to talk to her? That's unexpected to be honest!

PS.  I demand a replay, I was too blinded by everything else. 

I replied, smiling.


She saw you with me during my breakdown, she knew it wasn't a joke. She knew you were the reason I wanted to get better, not anyone else. I told her everything as well, and I fixed our family issues. She's definitely more accepting.

PS. Just tell me when and where;)

This all felt unreal.


***
What do you guys think?:D And please don't just comment on Ask:(

twitter: @cashmerepoison

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Don't Forget Me (54)

Three Years Later 


I was getting ready for my twenty-fifth birthday party with Layal, and a couple of my friends from work, which included Jana Al-R, a girl from our school. It was funny how we all ended up at the same workplace even with our different college majors.

I put on my earrings and opened up my necklace stand and wore my silver and diamond necklace. The Tiffany necklace Zaid had got me was taunting me as it swung on its holder. I hadn't heard from Zaid since I left the carnival. I expected to hear back from him within a year or two, and thoughts of him forgetting me worried me. I'd already declined almost five proposals for absolutely no reason because I was foolish enough to wait for Zaid. Time meant nothing to me, it was as if I'd seen him yesterday.

I turned the stand away from me and sprayed on perfume before I looked myself in the mirror. I wore a gray dress that was loose, while my hair was pulled away from my face and showed off my long earrings, which really gave me a mature look.

I took my clutch and waited for Layal to pick me up.

Out

I left the house, saying bye to my mom before going into her car.

"Hey!" I said as I got in.

"Yal birthday girl itshawgeen!" she said and I laughed as I kissed her.

"Intay itshawgeen kalba!" I said as I eyed her gorgeous black dress.

"Abdullah khathaliyaha, 7ada cute," she said, gushing about her husband. He kept his word and actually proposed like a day after graduation. I was really happy for the both of them.

"So wain binrou7?" I asked her.

"Okay kina bnwadeech ma63am yshawig bas mani gayla isma 3ashan ma ita7asifain bas 6ala3 full so binrou7 Lenotre ilba7ar, ilbanat na6reenna hnak," she said.

"Yallah perfect, a7ib Lenotre ilba7ar," I said as I wore my seatbelt.

We arrived at the restaurant wala the girls were already at the table, kl wa7da zahba ma3a her present as I hugged them and thanked them for coming.

"Happy birthday!" each one of them told me and I blushed as I thanked them.

"Ubai ildinya tarki'6, shinu 9irna bl mid twenties!" Jana said.

"9a7? Wallah ykhari3 khala9 we're officially adults," 7aneen agreed.

It scared me, the thought of time passing by so quickly. Maybe I was being foolish for waiting.

We ordered our food wala Layal motioned with her brows to look at my phone.

Someone's staring at you b the table ili warana. It's like he knows you. 

I froze, as I read her message. It couldn't be Zaid, could it?
I couldn't turn l2ana ashkara ybayin inni I was looking.

For real?

I texted back.

Ee, wait let me take a pic

I shook my head at her but the idiot did it anyway, sneakily though. She was good.

I opened the image and zoomed in, the face wasn't clear but it did look like...Faisal?

What the hell was he doing here? I nearly turned to see him but I realized what I was doing, plus mali khilga since we really got pissed off at each other the last time we'd spoken.

Then I remembered, Jana Al-R was his cousin, and she might've told her about me, but why would he see me again? I thought he was the one who didn't want me, anyway I didn't want him.

That's Faisal

She gave me a look before staring at him over and over and I had to text her not to look at him.

I was seriously worried right now.

I couldn't really focus on what everyone was saying; and I tried to convince myself that maybe it was a coincidence. Yet if it was then why didn't Jana greet her cousin? Something definitely was up.

Dinner was over and I barely remembered what I ate as I thanked the girls for coming and throwing me the birthday dinner. I didn't turn behind me as I left the restaurant with Layan.

"Okay mt2akda ina Faisal?" she asked me as soon as we got in her car. The girl would never skip gossip.

"Ee mt2akda," I told her.

"Okay oo laish yay ya3ni?" she asked me.

"Shdarani?" I told her.

"Niyoh 3an il3ayara," she said, teasing me.

"Tkfain arid 3nd hatha? Wallah akhir 3umri arou7la," I told her and she laughed as she believed me.

"Tara bada3 oo uhwa ykhizich," she said.

"Khal ykhiz, that's as far as he could go," I told her and she chuckled.


***
2/2 for the day xx

twitter: @cashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (53)

I was kind of "un-grounded" now that I told my mother everything and was upfront and honest with her. It hurt to hear what she'd said, but for some reason I just couldn't believe it at all.

Layal was on my bed with a bag of chips in her hand as we discussed our project, for like five minutes, until she asked me about Zaid again, to which I'd told her everything.

"Wait galich y7ibich?" she said, almost choking on her chips.

"Ma galha, bas sa2alta oo gal ee," I said. Even though I had never specified what the question, but we had both known what I'd meant.

"Chathaba," she said with a wide mouth.

"Tadreen hatha shinu jackpot? Ubai ya7mara!" she said and I laughed, only everyone thought he had everything when really he had nothing, even though he considered me my everything.

"Bas umi a9lan ma wafaqat, oo ma3tiqid ahala bywaf8oun. Ikhta nisra," I told her, trying not to sound as broken as I truly felt.

"It3eesh ma3a bl bait?" she asked me.

I shook my head.

"3ayal intay shaku? Latkharbeen 7ayatich 3ashan that bitch," she said. I rolled my eyes.

"La jed ya3ni," she said as she took a handful of chips from the bag. Why couldn't she understand that it just wasn't about Zaina?

"Oo Faisal Control Freak sh9ar 3alaih?" she asked me.

I laughed at her nickname for him.

"Madri wallah," I said.

"Tara a7is 3nda side hoe madri laish, a7is y7ib ysawe ashya2 ****" she said something so inappropriate I threw a scrunched up paper at her.

"Shinu ba3ad he is controlling!" she said.

"Bas it9adgeen ma3tiqid kil hatha, ma3a Zaid, kan by9eer lo mu Lulu yatni oo galatli ina uhwa y7ibni," I said.

"Plot twist, ha?" she said.

"7ail!" I replied. "Bas madri itha she was looking out for me wala kanat tabu she breaks us up," I said.

"Either way allah y3afeeha," Layal said.

"True," I said, even though she was the reason we were busted in the first place, and probably the reason Zaid went downhill.

"Oo ya3ni al7een you're fine ma3a khalti?" she asked me.

"I hope so, ya3ni adri bas n7taj wagt, 3araftay?" I told her. I loved talking to her about anything, because unlike my old friends, I could tell her anything and I could still trust her to not leave or say anything.

"Good good. Ubai tara 7adi ishta6ait, matadreen mita birid ikalmich?" she asked me.

I shook my head.

"Okay I have news for you ba3ad," she said with a smile that I knew was her "I have something you don't know about" smile.

"Chathaba!" I exclaimed.

"Wallah," she said with a laugh.

"Minu?!" I said. I automatically knew she meant she was with someone.

"Isma Abdullah Al-K," she said.

My jaw nearly dropped. "Ubai wait hatha kan b madristi!"

"Ee adri," she said with a giggle.

"Wait wait shlon?" I asked her.

"Umm thak ilmara ya 3nd my sister's party planning business 7ag your reunion dinner party oo galatli I take over l2ana widi asht'3l part time 3ndaha, anyway ga3adt I text him oo chithi bas 3an the party bas shway shway it became more personal than professional oo ee ya3ni, I like him al7een," she said, like it was the most casual thing ever.

I nearly threw another paper ball at her.

"Ubai laish ma glteeli mn awal?!" I said.

"Madri khift I jinx it," she reasoned.

"'3abiya?" I said. "Bas tara Abdullah khosh wa7id," I said with a smile.

"Na6irni atkharaj takhayilay," she said, blushing.

"Ubai wanasa!" I said. I really was happy for her, at least she knew when her deadline was, unlike me, and unlike Zaid and me, they were a perfect fit.


***
Second post of the day coming up soon!;)

twitter: @cashmerepoison



Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Don't Forget Me (52)

Essa my brother? A dealer? No wonder my dad kicked him out.

"Essa?" I said. "Bas shlon 3arafta?"

"A7ad 3a6ani raqma oo madarait uhwa ukhouch ila 3ugub ymkin thalath tashhir lama gali 3aylita," he said.

I didn't know if I was disappointed in him or in my brother, but I knew they both were having a hard time dealing with personal matters.

"I don't care inik ta3amalt ma3a. Ga3d yt7asan al7een. Bas please 3ashani don't do it," I said.

"Ba7awil," he said.

"Bas 3arif ina you're not alone," I told him and he smiled gratefully.

I looked at my phone, it was nearly 8 and I had only an hour to go back and get dressed into my pajamas until my mom came back.

"Lazim itrou7een?" he asked me.

"I did sneak out to see you," I said with a chuckle.

"3ashani don't do it again," he said.

"Ba7awil."

He tried to smile through his tears as he looked at my bare wrist.

"Wain ilCartier?" he asked me.

I scoffed. "Zaid 9arla arba3 isneen."

"Yabeelich wa7id thani," he said, with a smile.

I shook my head as I laughed. "Chub 3ad."

I quickly realized what I'd said and put my hands to my lips, and for some reason that made him crack up, and I laughed when he did. We lightened up after that deep conversation we'd just had, and I was glad it was over.

"Mashkoura, Niyah 3ala kil shay. Oo ana asif 3ala kil ili sawaita. Mu kafi ili ga3d agoula, adri," he said.

I didn't say anything.

"Fa 3ashan chithi abi atghayar 7ag ila7san, abi a9eer a7ad 9ij yistahlich, ma3a ina matwaqa3 ana abadan bastahlich mahma ta'3ayart. Fa 3a6eeni wagt asani3 mn nafsi. Mabeech trou7een wara umich 3ashan itshoufeeni wala tza3leenha inich tkalmeeni wara '6aharha. Already khasart umi, mabeech takhsireen umich 3ashani," he said, and I gulped, and the last part was really hard to hear.

"Zaid shkithir an6ir? Sina? Sintain?" I asked him. I was tired of waiting, but I would wait for him to get better.

He shrugged.

"Ma adri," he said.

"Don't forget me," I said, with a soft smile.

"Shlon ansach itha you're the only thing I have?" he said, and I smiled as I walked away after seeing the time on my phone.

"Okay 9ij lazim arou7," I said with a chuckle. "See you inshallah?" I said.

He nodded and smiled. "Inshallah."

"Oo good luck," I said as I left, and part of me left with him.


/

I got dressed into my pajamas and made it just in the nick of time. My mom entered the living room where I was and put some groceries on the table before leaving but I stopped her.

"Yuma bakalmich b maw'6ou3," I told her.

"Shnu?" she said.

I sighed as she sat next to me and I began to tell her everything (except the drugs and the video, because if he moved on, was willing to change, and wanted to put it behind him then why should I bring it up?)

I told her about how caring he was, how he had his heart broken because of his mother's death and that I was the only one there for him, I told her how happy he truly made me feel and how he bought me all these gifts as tokens of appreciation.

She was stunned, like genuinely stunned. I couldn't tell if she was mad, surprised, or a mix of everything.

"Oo kil hatha w ana madri?" she said. I bit my lip in anticipation of what was to come.

"Yuma adri kint '3abiya oo lail7een ana '3abiya bas wallah mahagait by9eer kil ili 9ar. Ana asfa, wallah, madri shagoul," I told her.

"Bas mabi akhsirich 3ashan hal salfa," I added.

She sat silently.

"Tadreen ini wayid mt'6ayga oo ma9douma minich 9a7?" she asked.

"Akeed, ma aloumich," I replied.

"Al7een malich 3ila8a ma3a?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"Mani mkalmita wala shay," I said, which was true, until he felt like he has changed. Whenever that was, and that in itself worried me.

"L2ana tadreen haman ina uhwa mu mina wala intay minhum, 9a7? Ya3ni shftay ikhta oo 6areeqat'hum '3air 3anna, uhma wayid free," she said.

I stayed silent, and it came to a shock to me. I should've expected it but I was shocked for some reason.

She didn't approve of him, and I knew his family would never in hell approve of me. I was so anxious for the future and I could only hear his voice ring in my head that he would never forget me.

***

So I'm going to officially be posting two chapters a day:)

Can't wait to post my next story, already working on it!xx

Don't Forget Me (51)

I turned to look at Zaid who was still looking at Lulu and me.

I stormed to Zaid, each step filled with confusion, rage, and even more confusion as I motioned for him to follow me. He was also confused as we stood in an empty corner, away from where others, specifically Lulu, could see us.

"Zaid laish ga3d itchathib 3alay?" I yelled.

"Mafahamt," he said.

"Lulu galalti inik glt kalam 3ani 3nd Abdullah b shalaihik," I told him. He shook his head in confusion but then realized what I'd meant.

He pressed his tongue against his cheek.

"Zaid, simple question, ee wala la2?" I said. He knew which question I was talking about.

Zaid ignored me.

"Ee?" I said.

"Ee okay?" he said, blowing up, like he hated that I knew I wasn't just a friend to him. I didn't know whether to be relieved or angry. Why did he have to bottle up his feelings like that? Why didn't he want to open us and let me know?

"Laish ga9ait 3alay? Laish khalaitni a9adig ina ana wala shay bl nisba lik?" I said, realizing that my voice was growing louder and louder as I spoke.

He scoffed.

"Niyah, intay wain oo ana wain," he said.

I remembered Faisal's words.
Why did the both of them have to look down on me? Why did they have to constantly remind me that I was no match for him?


"Well fuck you. Managait ay 7ayat a3eesh feeha. Bas 3ashan inta 3ndik khair oo wild 3ayla mu ya3ni tgi9 3alay oo tlakhb6ni," I told him. I'd never said the F-word aloud before, but I was just so annoyed with him that I said it. I didn't even regret it.

He looked confused.

"Niyah 7asbalich ana shayif nafsi 3alaich?" he said, sounding hurt.

"Shdarani 3anik!" I said, confused as well.

He scoffed again.

"Niyah, ana qa9di il3aks. Matistahlain wa7id nafsi, sum3iti bl ar'6, ahali lay3a chabdhum mini, ma7ad lah khilgi oo ma aloumhum," he said.

He meant the opposite of what Faisal had said.

"Zaid laish wayid it7abi6 mn nafsik?" I told him, as I calmed myself down and lowered my voice.

"Niyah mat3arfeeni," he said as he looked away.

"Mabeech it3arfeeni, ana '3al6an ma kan ilmafrou'6 akhaleech itrideen itkalmeeni."

"Kl hatha oo ma3arfik?" I said.

"3ayal t3arfeen 3an hatha?" he said, as he pulled out a small plastic bag from his pocket, it contained some sort of powder in it.

It couldn't be.

"Z-zaid shinu hatha?" I said, backing away. "Min mita?"

He sighed as he looked away, not trying to see the disappointment in my eyes even though I wasn't really disappointed, I was just confused and surprised at his behavior. Why would he do this to himself?

"Mn 3ugub ma radait the US, 3ugbich. Mu minnich, latloumeen nafsich. Mukhi kan b kil mukan, I was a mess. Hatha laish Zaina oo ukhwani ma ga3d yhimhum ay shay, bas, they gave up ma3ay. I don't blame you itha intay ba3ad you gave up," he said. I shook my head.

"Zaid mu lazm itsawi hal shay," I said as I inched towards him.

"Mu lazm itjamleeni," he said as he looked away and wiped at his eyes, which sent tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Zaid, shoufni," I said, sternly.

"Hatha mu gadrik, tadri laish 7ta lama gltli ini I'm just a friend oo 7ta 3ugb ilvideo mawakhart? L2ana adri you're a good person. Tithakar shkint gabl la itsafer? Shkithir wanastni?
Zaid I lost part of my family bas I gained you, oo hatha akthar mn ili 6alabta," I said, my voice was shaky but I didn't care. I couldn't lose him and let him ruin his life when he thought I didn't care. I did care, more than even his own family.

He was still wiping his tears away with his sleeves, and he couldn't look me in the eyes. I felt like my heart was ripped into a million pieces as he looked hopeless and like he'd given up on everything. I didn't know what to do or what to say as I was still in shock at everything.

I turned my head to see if anyone was watching our emotional discussion and I did.
I found Zaina look at us from far away: looking at Zaid who was in tears, and me as I tried to comfort him, and I couldn't care less. She looked stunned to see him like this, and maybe stunned to see me actually comforting him. That served her right to think all I was behind was his money; she didn't even come to see what was going on between us. No wonder Zaid was acting out and felt the way he was feeling.

I turned to Zaid again, who seemed like he was trying to get over his breakdown, but I didn't blame him for feeling that way.

"Zaid mn wainlik ildrugs?" I asked him.

He looked away again. I wanted to just hold his face and let him look at me.

"Zaid," I said, sternly.

He gulped before answering.

"Mn Essa ukhouch."

***
I know this isn't as long but I tried:( 

twitter: @cashmerepoison

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Don't Forget Me (50)

"Hey," she said. Shtabi hathi ba3ad?

I didn't reply.

"Shlonich Niyah?" she asked me.

"Zaina," I replied. I didn't mean to be cold but she ruined almost everything for me.

"Sm3ay um tara 7adi asfa 3ala kl ili sawaita, oo adri ini ghal6ana. Adri ili 9ar fog ilsina bas wallah lail7een I feel guilty," she began to say.

I didn't reply. She should be.

"Fa bas hatha ili kint bagoula lich, " she said.

"Mashkoura," I said and I walked away, but she stopped me.

"Shftich ma3a Zaid tawa, oo bas knt bas2lich itha t3arfeen 3an the video? Mabeech tsmi3eena aw tshoufeena mn a7ad '3areeb," she said. Was she seriously telling me this after her apology?

"Drop it. A3arif 3an the video oo insee." I said.

"Inzain hatha yizay I'm looking out for you?" she asked me. And Lulu was back!

"Looking out for me wala tabeen itfargeenna?" I asked her.

"Niyah mu qa9di shay bas-" she said, almost begging.

"Lulu mat3arfeena," I said.

"Ya3ni intay t3arfeena?" she retorted.

"He's misunderstood," I explained.

"So still it7ibeena?" she told me.

"We're just friends," I told her with a shrug.

"Friends? 3ugub kl ili sawaitu oo ili gala 3anich?" she said.

I cocked my brow at her.

"Shgal? Mita?" I asked her.

"Um mathkir china mara lama tyama3na b shalaiha like gabl shahar, 3ugub ildinner party," she said. Oh I remembered that, the one in Sarah's snap.

"Bas shgal?" I said.

"Madri gal ina akhir mara ya ilshalaih kan ma3ach, ina uhwa '3abi ma ra7 warach oo lail7een y7ibich. Madri kan ykharbi6 3ala Abdullah bas ana sima3ta," she said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

***

twitter: @cashmerepoison


Don't Forget Me (49)

I followed him as he showed me around the booths. I got like three different cookies from three different booths. I made a mental note of the food I would be eating later. The carnival was that fun and I wished I was a kid again.

"Oo fee booths 7ag games ilyahal shway maleeqeen," he said. 

"Shway?" I said with a cocked brow. 

"Okay wayid," he said with a chuckle. It was so crowded I could barely listen to him. 

He showed me around the park and when he was done he turned to me. "So tabeen trideen 3ala the booths wala nrkab the rides?" he asked. 

I cocked my brow at him teasingly.

"Aha fa 3ashan chithi gltli ayi, tabi a7ad trkab ma3a ha?" I told him while he stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. 

"Yallah laish la2?" I said. 

"Tara free passes," he said while wiggling his brows. 

"Ay l3ba awal?" he asked me. 

"Umm tabi ili tlif 7ail?" I asked him about the capsules that spun around quickly.y

"Yallah," he said and we walked to the ride and waited our turn amongst the kids and teens. It wasn't as thrilling as the one in entertainment city, but then again I was completely head over heels with him, and I thought he felt the same towards me. It wasn't the same now. 

Zaid laughed as he got off and begged me to get on the roller coaster, which we stood in the queue for. I checked on my phone, no missed calls or messages. I needed to stop stressing. 

We got on the ride, with me regretting getting on it as we began to go up. I screamed my lungs out while we spun around while Zaid was having a great time as he laughed at both my reaction and ride.

"Fa'6ee3a," he told me as we got off.

"Akher mara arkab roller coaster," I said.

"Shda3wa!" Zaid replied.

"Okay bas next time itha raja3t 3alaik lata7al6am," I said while he cracked up. Very smooth, Niyah. 

It was getting dark now, and the lights of the carnival lit up which really gave it that "carnival" feel. It looked spectacular. 

"Zaid akhaf ga3da a3a6lik aw yi7tajonik," I told him as we walked away from the roller coaster.

"Ma7ad dag 3alay," he said with a shrug.

"Ha wain al7een?" he asked me.

I bit my lip decisively as I looked around. 

"Ilslides malat ilmai?" I asked him, but then I realized it was a slope to get up to the slides and Zaid didn't do well on slopes. 

"Wala la2, bard 3alaiha," I immediately said. 

"China ma9akhnaha?" I told him as I realized there weren't much rides left, or rides that Zaid could get on as well. 

"Wayid," he said while he chuckled.

"Okay akher l3ba 3ayal," I told him as I spotted a ride in the corner of my eye.

"Wain?" 

"Carousel," I told him with a toothy smile, almost a pleading one.

"Yallah 3ashanich," he said as he dragged himself to the carousel. I really wanted to go on it since it was my favorite ride as a kid, and I hadn't been on it in almost ten years itha mu akthar.

We finally arrived at the carousel and Zaid shot me an "I hate you" look and I smiled while wiggling my brows as we stood in the queue.

We got on it, bain ilyahal and everything, and Zaid cursed me for de-masculinating him, which made me laugh so hard.

I got on a horse but sat on it sideways instead while Zaid rested on the horse in front of me. 

"Akhir 3umri arkab ihni," he said while laughing. 

"Ma3tiqid a7ad by3arifna," I said, chuckling. 

"Ra7 y3arfounna 9adgeeni," he said while laughing. The ride started, and it was just me and Zaid plus two other kids on the other side. 

The horse began to go up and down and Zaid freaked out at first, which was funny, but he enjoyed it as he sat on the horse. 

He faced me while he went up and down and I laughed at how he was actually enjoying the ride. 

"Chinik kayaft 3alaiha?" I said. 

"Wayid," he replied. "9akat 3ala ilroller coaster il9ara7a," he said and I laughed. 

He looked at me, the way he looked at me at the wedding and I cocked my head. 

"Shtfaker fee?" I said. 

He shook his head. "Wala shay."

"Jad?" I replied. 

"Laish sh7asbalich ga3d afakir fee?" he asked teasingly, his lips curled up in a smirk as his tone of voice was curious. 

I shrugged.

"Niyah?" he teased again. 

"I can't take you seriously w inta t93ad oo tanzl b hal 79an," I said. 

He laughed and stood up, steadying himself with his cane.

"Yallah, shnu?" 

"Shift Catwoman," I told him, kind of to distract him. 

He furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Matathkir? Inta Bruce Wayne? Ana Catwoman?" I reminded him.

He took a while to remember but he chuckled when he remembered. 

"Shrayich fee?" he asked me. 

"It sucked," I told him while laughing.

"Fa shnu ya Zaid wajh ilshabah baini oo bain Catwoman? L2ana right now I'm honestly offended," I joked. 

The ride began to slow down and I got off the horse. 

"Ma3araftay?" he teased. 

I shook my head. I knew it wasn't what I had in mind. 

He inched towards me and whispered close to my ear. 

"Atwaqa3 it3arfeen," he said, and the way he said it sent shivers down my spine. 

I blocked his exit out of the ride. 

"Zaid," I said sternly. 

"Matwaqa3tich takhtheen Catwoman seriously," he said. 

I only stared at him. 

"Niyah," he began to say. 

"Zaid jawibni, l2ana mn 7arakatik oo al7een ga3da a7is ina I'm not just a friend."

"Inzain khala9, tadreen laish shabahtich b Catwoman? L2ana athnainatkum attractive as hell," he said. 

It took me by surprise. 

"Umm Zaid hatha ma kan su2ali..." I said. I was going to ask him what he really thought of me, but I was fine with him slipping that out.

"Oh," he said, almost embarrassed. 

The indian worker ordered us off since we were taking up the second turn, so we walked towards a more private spot. 

I crossed my arms. 

"Zaid laish ybtni ihni, 9ij?" I said. 

"Intay laish yeetay ihni?" he asked me. 

"L2ani knt mtmalila oo shaklik knt t7taj a7ad. Al7een inta laish ybtni ana bl that ihni?" I said. 

"L2ana I like having you around," he said. 

"As a friend?" I said, cocking a brow. 

"As a friend," he confirmed. 

"You're so full of it," I said as I shook my head.

"Laish kila 7asbalich inich shay akthar mn a friend 3ndi?" he said. 

"Ubai Zaid matathkir shnu tawik gltli? Hatha maygoulouna bain rabi3!" I said. "I'm done, magdar at3amal ma3a mixed signals oo ata3ib 3umri ma3ak," I said as I shook my head. I walked away from him but he blocked my way.

"Zaid," I threatened.

"Shbtsaween?" he said. 

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm done, malait min your mixed signals," I told him. "Laish matir'6a 7ag nafsik to actually feel something?"

He stared at me, taking in my words, and called out to me but I ignored him and kept walking. I saw Lulu a couple of step ahead of me helping out at one of the booths, and she automatically looked up when she saw Zaid calling out to me. Of course she was here, she loved chasing the Al-M family wherever they went.

Lulu began to walk towards me, while Zaid stopped in the background.

***
Post 1/2, Two-Post Tuesday! ;p

Happy Reading, 

Cash

twitter: @cashmerepoison


Monday, November 23, 2015

Don't Forget Me (48)

Me: Sure?

I typed.

Zaid: Could you come over to the kid fair later today?

What?

Me: The kid fair?

Zaid: Yes, my sister's organizing it with a couple of her friends. It's in shaab park and I'd really like it if you would come, and also I'd like to apologize in person. 

That was...sudden. Plus we were fighting a couple of minutes ago.

Me: Zaid I can't leave the house after tonight, and I don't think your sister would want me there. 

Zaid: I don't care what she thinks. 

Me: Why do you want me to be there so badly?;p

Zaid: Because I'll be around kids from morning to nighttime and I hate kids. 

Me: That's serious. 

Zaid: I shouldn't be around sharp objects. 

Me: Very serious. 

Zaid: You could be saving a life, or ten. 

I couldn't help not to laugh.

Me: I don't think I can guarantee it though. The going to the carnival part, not the saving lives part. 

Zaid: Sure. Anyway goodnight. I should be up in three hours. 

Me: Ah, going to see kids while sleep deprived too?

Zaid: It's my lucky day.

Me: Well good night then. 

Zaid: Good night. 

/

"Barou7 3nd yaditich," my mother said as she peeked inside my room to talk to me. I guessed she missed talking to me, and even though I sent her a lot of apologetic texts she still wouldn't reply.

 "Okay salmay 3alaihum. Ana bag3ad adris," I told her. It was almost 4 PM, oo I woke up like an hour ago. Badda3t bl noma.

I opened up my books but I wasn't feeling it. It was one of these days where your mind was all over the place that you couldn't actually study even if your life depended on it.

I opened my phone, which I was still surprised my mom allowed me to use.

Me: How's the carnival?

I contemplated going, but what he had said at 5 AM really confused me, what was his deal? I really wanted to see him again, so I bit my lip in contemplation and got dressed. I was very stupid, I admit, but I had nothing to lose, but I had a lot to gain if I did go.

I changed into a pair of black leggings and a long white shirt with accessories; I kept it simple since it was a carnival, a kid's one to be precise. I got into the car and drove to Shaab park. The parking was so full that I had to park fog ilra9eef. I saw Zaid's Bentley at the entrance of the park, he must've been there very early.

I entered the park, free of charge, then went to the carnival, which consisted of booths lined up at the entrance and all around the park along with lights suspended between the booths to give it that "carnival" feel. I looked around for Zaid but I couldn't find him so I checked my phone; he still hadn't seen the message.

"Asfa bas t3arfeen wain Zaid?" I asked a teenage girl who was a volunteer.

"Zaid Al-M?" she asked me and I nodded.

"Umm chini shfta 3nd 9ob il9a7an," she said. I thanked her and began to walk to il9a7an, keeping an eye out for Zaina and for Zaid, and a close eye on my phone as well in case my mom or Zaid called.

I finally saw Zaid as he was hanging a sign on a pole. He was wearing jeans and a white polo shirt and a jacket, of course there was no need for me to say that he pulled off whatever it was he wore. I almost backed away but instead I gathered up all my strength and walked to him.

"Hey," I said.

"Niyah, yeetay," he said while smiling, surprised.

"The things I do to save kids," I told him, and he chuckled.

"Shlona?" he asked as he looked around.

"Fa'6ee3 mashallah," I told him and he smiled.

"Sharabt gahwa?" I asked him.

"Glibat chabdi," he said. "Mashkoura inich yeetay," he added.

I shrugged. "Il3afu."

"Oo awal shay gabl la nabdi bas widi agoulich asif 3ala ili glta. Wallah kint 7mar madri shafaker fee w ana aktib ilmessage. Please sam7eeni wallah adri maloumich itha ma sama7teeni bas..." he ended his sentence with a shrug.

"Zaid it's fine," I said. Although I was still annoyed at the message.

"Ma9adgich bas ba7awil feech," he said with a chuckle and I just looked away.

"Niyah, asif," he repeated, sternly this time.

I didn't reply.

"If it makes you feel better tara 7ta ana 3ndi issues ma3ah," he said. I looked at him. He never told me that.

"Na3am?" I said.

"Gltlich 3ndi mashakil ma3ah," he repeated.

I cocked my brow.

"Ma gltli mn gabl," I said.

"Ista7ait agoulich," he said. I looked at the floor.

"Shinu the issues?" I asked him. He knew the issues between me and my dad, so it would make sense for him to tell me. He took a deep breath.

"Kl hama ukhwani oo ana wala chini mawjoud.  Mat'himni ilflous, bas ukhwani 3nda shay w ana ma ylageeni wayh, ya3ni china ana balwa 3nda, madri. 7awalt akalma bas kila ygouli a9ik ilmaw'6ou3 oo ga3d atdala3 oo madri shinu," he said.

"Nafs ubouy," I told him as I nodded in understanding.

"Bl thab6," he said.

I felt bad for him now, because I knew exactly what it was like to be ignored by your own father, and it really hurt. I didn't really blame him if he went over the edge, especially with his mother gone and other household problems he had kept away from me.

"Um fa tabeeni a36eech tour?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yallah," I said.

"Yallah," he repeated with a wink, hinting at our catchphrase. Only he thought of it as something and I thought of it as something else.



***

Yallah two-post Monday 3ashankum;p

Now comment below for me:o)


twitter: @cashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (47)

I didn't know what to type.

Me: It's not me...is it?

There was a large space of time in which he began to type again.

Zaid: Umm no?

God this was so awkward and it hurt like hell.

Me: I'm out of guesses.

Zaid: I'm surprised you actually fell for that. 

Me: Fell for what? 

Zaid: I'm not interested in anyone.

Was he serious? Why did he get me into all this trouble and worrying? I honestly didn't know whether to be relieved or surprised.

Me: Are you serious?

Zaid: Bad joke?

Me: You never joke but when you do...

Zaid: It was interesting to see who you think I liked. Lulu though?

Me: I thought you were fine with her. 

Zaid: Never was. 

Me: What about the rest of the posse?

Zaid: Fucking joke. 

I never heard him swear before.

Me: ?

Zaid: Just a bunch of people who hate each other yet know too much for them to unfriend each other. I'm honestly surprised at a lot of them.

I raised my brow as I texted back. I saw some sunlight creeping through the shutters. I hadn't realized we were talking for this long.

Me: Really? 

Zaid: Lulu and Sarah? Not so innocent. 

Surprise surprise.

Me: Both of them?

Zaid: Bad influence. Lulu's always been a bad seed, but Sarah was easy for them to mold. 

Me: So you're not friends with them now?

Zaid: Not after the damn video, no. 

I bit my lip as I figured out what to type next.

Me: So who are you close to now?

Zaid: No one, really. 

I honestly wasn't surprised. The group probably moved away from him after the video and after his blackmail threats.

Me: Not even Haya? Really, Zaid?;p

Zaid: Nope. I told you Haya is so out of my league, as both a friend and something else. She's just a poor girl with daddy issues looking for attention she never got.  

Did he actually say that?

Me: Excuse me? 

Zaid: Shit I'm so sorry, I didn't realize what I said. 

Me: Don't tell me you've been with me this whole time because you thought I was a poor girl with daddy issues and was easy to play with? 

Zaid: Absolutely not. 

Me: I can't believe you. 

Zaid: Can I call?

Me: It's 5 fucking AM Zaid. 

I didn't care that I swore, I was so pissed at him for thinking that. Did he really think that about me?

Zaid: Niyah I'm sorry, I don't mean what I said about Haya was about you as well.

Me: 

Oh now I know why you befriended me; because not only was I the only person who stuck around to help you, but also because I had "daddy issues" and wasn't as blessed as everyone else, and that combination is a killer for making me stay and therefore being a great distraction to you. 

Makes sense to me.  

My hands were shaking as I typed, I was enraged at him.

Zaid: It might make sense but it's far from the truth. I told you you were a very good friend, and I never meant to use you. I really enjoyed our time together. Please, please believe me. 

Me: You know what? I'm so done. I'm wasting my time on you when I could be talking to someone else. 

Zaid: Like who? Faisal? Or some other controlling asshole?

Shit, he didn't deny that we were together.

Me: So you're saying I should be with you?

Zaid: I never said such thing. 

Me: You implied it. 

Zaid: It's 5 AM, we should get some sleep because we're saying things we don't mean. 

Me: Fine.

Zaid: Anyway, I'm very sorry about what I said earlier. I really didn't mean it. 

Me: It's fine. 

Zaid: Before I go to sleep, could I ask you for a favor? 


***

Su2al min wain 6ala3taw Layal as his crush?:p

Okay I'm sorry -again, for the cliffhangers. I know you guys want to kill me by now lol, but it's two-post Tuesday tomorrow so chin up;p 

Happy reading, 
Cashmere. 


twitter: @cashmerepoison


Sunday, November 22, 2015

Don't Forget Me (46)

I was stunned at what I had just read.

Me: Me? 

Zaid: 

I so was overwhelmed with guilt over you that I needed another source of distraction. It's stupid, and my logic was far from perfect at that moment, along with other factors that I was facing at home and with my family that drove me over the edge.  
It wasn't me, and I hate myself for it. I don't blame anyone for not forgiving me for what I did, I don't even forgive myself. 

I didn't know what to think of it, and I knew his home life wasn't stable, especially after his mother passing away. It might've been a while but it was still a large hole in his life. I kind of felt sorry for him, I knew this wasn't what he wanted to be doing with his life.

Me: So you basically went on the edge because you hated how things were at home and that you felt so guilty aboutyou you made me feel the way I feel towards you, even though you didn't/don't feel the slightest thing towards me?

Zaid: Yes, basically. 

Me: Zaid this was the last thing I expected you to do. 

Zaid: I didn't expect that from myself either; it all happened so quickly and I just needed that distraction I didn't think straight at all. I mean, I knew it was wrong, but at the moment I didn't care. I'm an idiot, and I don't blame anyone for thinking so. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made. 

I actually did feel bad for him.

Me: I see.  But does anyone from your family know about the video?

Zaid: Just Zaina. She doesn't care really, she sort of gave up on me a while ago. I don't think my brothers care either. 

Me: So that's a good thing?

Zaid: The not caring (in general) part not so much, but the video? Definitely, or else I would've been kicked out or worse. 

Me: I have another question, if it's not too late. 

Zaid: Sure, I won't be sleeping any time soon. 

I bit my lip nervously as I typed.

Me: Are you with someone else? 

I waited for him to type back, wondering what his answer would be.

Zaid: What makes you think that? 

Me: Yes or no, Zaid.

Zaid: It's complicated. 

I gulped, what did he mean? My stomach was in knots right now and my heart was in my throat. I didn't know if it was the answer I wanted to hear or not.

Me: It's Haya, isn't it?

Zaid: I'd never be with someone like her. 

Would he stop lying?

Me: But I saw you talking and laughing last night.

Zaid:

Yes, I mean she did say something funny, and just because I didn't want to see her again doesn't mean I won't talk and laugh with her.  But she's not who I see myself with at all. You saw what she did and yet she had the guts to come up to me for a chat. I know for a fact that this was the last time she would ever talk to me. I can't be reminded of the video anymore, while she treats it like it's nothing. 

I didn't know what to say about Haya.

Me: Really?

Zaid: Yes, I promise.

Me: I don't know if I can believe you.

Zaid: I don't blame you.

Was it wrong if I felt guilty?

Me: Well is it someone I know?

Zaid: Maybe.

Me: Nouf?

Zaid: No.

Me: Sarah?

Zaid: No.

My fingers trembled as I typed...

Me: Zaid it's not Lulu, is it?

Zaid: Lulu's the last person I'd be with, after Haya.

Thank God he liked me more than those two at least.

Me: Who is it then? 

Zaid: Think.

It couldn't be me...could it?

***
Thanksfor your comments on the last post, I'll get to them ASAP:)

Dedicated to H xx

twitter: @cashmerepoison

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Don't Forget Me (45)

I hesitated to pick it up as I paced around my room.

My head hurt so bad and I was so exhausted but at the same time I wanted the drama to be over with.

"Alu?" I picked up the phone. I exhaled, trying to sound confident.

"Omniyah?" Faisal said.

"Na3am Faisal?" I said.

He huffed onto the phone.

 "Il9ara7a madri shagoulich," he said.

I bit lip.

"In9idamt 9admat 7ayati. Matwaqa3t'ha minich," he said.

I let him speak.

"Kilish mu 7lwa, o a3tiqid lo intay kntay gaylatli 3anna gabl chan ymkin shft'ha b na'6ra thanya," he said.

"Bas kilish mu 7lwa shlon 3araft 3anich intay wiya hatha wild Al-M. Oo mahagaitich min ilno3 ili chithi hayteen ll2asaf. Twaqa3tich wayid a7san min chithi," he said. His tone was almost like he was looking down on me, and it made my blood boil, especially when he said "hayteen".

"Faisal ana asfa, bas kl hatha kan gabl fog ilsina oo mabaina shay al7een," I began to say, even though I knew make fayda mn me explaining.

"Aha ma bainkum shay? Ya3ni na'6ratkum 7ag ba3a'6 killish ma tou7i ina ma bainkum shay," he said. I could tell he was really pissed off.

"Oo ba3dain intay shaku fee? Uhwa wain oo intay wain?" he said.

"Na3am?" I said, not believing what he had just said. Was he serious?

"La2 mu qa9di shay bas fee farg bainkum, khal inkoun waqi3iyeen," he said.

"Faisal tara wallah rasi bynfijir, al7een laish dag hal 7azza?" I asked him bluntly.

"Aha ashoufich f9akhtay il7aya dam 3araft, wainhi Omniyat awal ili tisti7i?" he said. He was making my headache worse.

"3al il3umoum mani m6awil 3alaich, bas bagoulich ili bainna insee oo...ee, allah ywafgich," he said.

I put my tongue in my cheek. My mom was not going to like this, and I wasn't sure if her relationship with khalti Salwa, or with me would ever be the same.

"Ajma3een, yallah ma3a ilsalama," I said as I hung up.

I laid down on my bed as I recalled the events of today. I hated how Faisal was so controlling of me, and I was actually not that sad that we weren't together anymore. I just worried for my reputation; khalti Salwa knew a lot of women, and Faisal, well he was a guy and guys here knew a lot of guys so word traveled fast.

Zaid really surprised me when he stood up for me, and I felt sorry that he had to be dragged into the drama.

I decided to send Zaid a text, just so I could sleep with a clear head. I hated how I put him on the spot and dragged him through all of this.

Hey, I'm sorry about today. 

I hoped he would reply soon, or maybe he was too tired and wanted to go to sleep.

There's no need to apologize. And I'm sorry, I didn't know you two are together. 

He replied. Good, he was awake.

Were together lol.

I added.

Zaid: 
Shit, I'm sorry. 
Is it because of tonight?

 He never swore before.

Me: Kind of, yes. After he heard Zaina he called me to confirm. I don't blame Zaina though. 

Zaid: I'm sorry.

Me: Zaid I told you it's fine. 

My reputation was probably down the drain, and maybe his was too, bas madri laish mani gadra a9adig what had happened.

Zaid: Can I be honest?

Me: Sure

I replied. My heart was pounding now along with my head.

Zaid: I hated how he treated you. 

I was stunned, I never expected to hear that from him.

Me: That's funny. 

Zaid: Why is that funny?

Me: You hate how he treated me yet you had no problem treating me worse. 

Zaid: What do you mean? 
I treated you like a friend, and I'm a very private person. I apologized if I made you think otherwise. 

Me: Friends don't look at other friends the way you looked at me today.

I said. Shit, I actually said it.

Zaid: I don't understand? 

Me: I think you do. 

Zaid: I'm sorry if you thought otherwise. 

Me: I also saw you talking to Haya today, why did you lie to me about saying she was just for that dinner party?

Zaid: It was true, until tonight when she approached me. 

Me: She approached you, even with the video out there and everything?

Zaid: It's not out there anymore. I already told Yousif and Fatma to delete it, and they told everyone who they knew had the video. I fought fire with fire.

Me: What?

Zaid: I blackmailed Yousif and Fatma, who were responsible for sharing the video despite my requests not to. It's funny how they quickly reacted when their reputation was on the line. 

That was...smart. I felt like there was a whole world I didn't know about.

Zaid: And to answer your question, I didn't expect to see Haya again after that night.

Me: I still don't understand why you made the video.

Zaid: I was extremely unstable, emotionally, that night. 

Me: What made you so emotionally unstable that did something that low, Zaid?

Zaid: A lot of things. 

Me: Like what? 

Zaid: You. 


***

Yes, double post!:) I'd really appreciated if you commented below and not just on ask, wallah I love seeing comments on here! xx

twitter: @cashmerepoison




Don't Forget Me (44)

She slapped me hard on my shoulder once we were in the car. She'd never hit me before. Yet I didn't object, I deserved it. I couldn't move, I was stunned. I couldn't emotionally grasp what was happening.

"Intay matisti7een 3ala wayhich?! Zain chithi fashaltay 3umrich oo fashalteeni jdam khalg allah?!" she yelled once we were inside the car.

"Shinu hatha? Shsawaiatay?! O kl hatha w wa7da ma3irifha tgouli?!" she added.

"Mn mita intay ma3a? Ana rabaitich 3ashan t'heeteen chithi?" she yelled again. I had never heard her scream like this. I felt she had so much more to say and that she wanted to slap me again for my reckless behavior but she was too stunned to do anything. I didn't blame her...however she didn't know the whole truth either.

"Yuma wallah asfa, bas hatha kila gabl sina, oo adri ini ghala6t bas ta'3ayart yuma please 9adgeeni!" I could only say. I was still in shock of everything, Zaid, Zaina, Faisal, it was all just a shock to me that I was surprised I could form a sentence.

"Latchathbeen! Al7een ballah shlon a9adgich 3ugub kil ili sima3ta mn wa7da thanya ana mali sh'3l feeha? Ra'6ya 3an nafsich t'heeteen ma3a 9bayan? La3ba 3ala 7sab walad oo ilwalad ilthani la3ib 3ala 7sabich? 7asbyallah 3alaich, intay mu binti," she said as she shook her head.

"Ilwalad thahab, thahab, oo chthi itsaween fee?" she said.

"Bas yuma hatha gabl Fa-"

"Intay chub bas!" she yelled again.

"Khaltich Salwa 3yizat tmda7 feech oo al7een shbtgoul 3annich? Ha? Zain chithi kharabtay 3ala 3umrich? Al7een mnu yabeech? Lo wild Al-M 9ij kan 7abich chan taqadam bas la3ib 3alaich."

I shut up.

I pressed my tongue against my cheek as my mother g3adat tad3i and scolded me.

"Shsawaitay ma3a?" she asked once she had calmed down.

I told her I'd gone out with him a couple of times and that was it. I struggled to find the words to put it in the least shameful way possible but I couldn't.

"Aha bas 6ala3tay ma3a?" she asked me. "Oo ma re7tay '3urfita?" she asked me.

"Imbala," I confessed.

"Mashallah ba3ad zahba tgouleen. Oo shsawaitay b '3urfita?" she asked me. I hoped she wasn't getting the wrong ideas.

"Masawait shay bas ga3adna nitkalam," I said softly.

"Bas ha?" she asked me.

"Yuma wallah gabl akth-"

"7ta law! Intay shnu ray7a wara '6ahri 3nd 9bay? Insay wara '6ahri, 3nd 9bay bkubra, min mita intay chithi?! Ga9aitay 3alay oo lail7een intay ga9a 3alay dam inich maglteeli ili 9ar!" she said.

"Yuma asfa, wallah madri shagoulich," I told her, and I could finally sense the tears cloud my vision. I truly was sorry, I'd never meant for anything to happen nor for my mother to get hurt.

"Mn ilyom oo rayi7 6al3at maku, ro7a 3nd Layal bilbait maku, mn ilbait lay iljam3a wala wallah 7ta iljam3a ma akhaleech itrou7een," she told me.

"Inshallah," I could only say.

The rest of the car ride home was fortunately silent, and I walked to my room with a big headache. My phone was vibrating in my clutch.

Faisal was calling.

***

twitter: @cashmerepoison



Friday, November 20, 2015

Don't Forget Me (43)

I saw Zaid in his dishdasha talking and laughing with Haya, of all people. I'd thought they were over. She wasn't even wearing a shawl or anything to cover her bare shoulders and chest, as she continued to talk to him. I hated how he looked at her, how he laughed with her. I missed it, I missed the way he looked at me. I didn't care what he'd told me, no friend would look at another friend the way he had looked at me.

Kind of the way he was looking at me now...
I hadn't realized his eyes moved from Haya and towards me. The girl excused herself to go her car, and he broke his gaze to say goodbye, before turning to look at me again. He looked at me, I watched his eyes roam over me from top to bottom, with his lips parted and he finally locked eyes with me. I was almost breathless at how wild his eyes were.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I picked it up, giving Zaid my back.

"Alu?" I said.

"Ha w9al Ali?" she asked me.

"La ma ashoufa," I told her.

"Waih, ni6ray ba3ad shway akhaf za7ma," she said.

"Inshallah," I said before I hung up.

I turned to look at the street wala Zaid was approaching me, and my heart was beating so loud I could hear it over the wedding music.

"Ahlan," he said, not cracking a smile. Wala china he had texted me those messages. My tongue was too heavy to say anything.

"Um asif bas ikhti ma itrid 3ala ilmobile, shfteeha dakhil?" he asked.

"Ee," I said.

"Umm okay tigdireen tgouleen 7ag a7ad ynadeeha? Please? 9arli ni9 sa3a an6er," he said. He looked like he had been waiting for more than thirty minutes.

"Uh okay, bas la7'6a," I said as I turned to go back inside.

I looked for Zaina at the buffet area and found her sitting with her sisters in law at a table with a couple of their friends madri cousins. I found a waitress and told her to tell Zaina that her brother was outside. I walked back to the exit to look for my driver and Zaid but he wasn't there.

"Yallah nshoufich 3ala khair 7abeebti," khalti Salwa told me as she got down the stairs.

"Ma3a ilsalama khalti," I told her with a smile. I saw Faisal approach us to help his mom.

"Hala Omniyah shlonich?" he asked me with a smile.

"Il7mdillah bkhair, inta shlonik?" I asked him. I could see him too look at my dress.

"Wee nisait asalim 3ala um il3arous," khalti Salwa said before turning back inside.

Faisal watched his mother get back inside and he walked closer to me to whisper

"Omniyah dishay dakhil, may9eer ilriyayeel yshoufounich chithi," he told me, even though I covered myself with my shawl. I gulped and nodded.

"Inshallah," I only said.

I could see Zaid walk towards me and look back and forth between me and Faisal.

"Ilsalam," he muttered.

"W 3alaykum ilsalam," Faisal replied, with a huge question mark on his face.

"Niyah sh9ar 3alaiha?" Zaid asked me impatiently.

"Um madri glt 7ag ilkhadma itnadeeha," I replied.

"Mashkoura," he said with a soft smile.

"Asif mn 7a'6ritik?" Faisal interrupted. I could tell he was not liking Zaid talking to me.

"Zaid Al-M, w int?" Zaid said, cocking his head. I could tell he was already pissed off from Zaina that Faisal was getting on his nerves too.

"Faisal Al-O," Faisal replied.

"Omniyah gltlich itdisheen dakhil," Faisal ordered me, ticked off.

"Y9eer matkalmha chithi?" Zaid said.

I was caught off guard.

"Na3am? Int minu?" Faisal replied, raising his voice.

"Gltlik ana minu, inta minu 3ashan itkalmha chithi?" Zaid said.

Faisal scoffed.

"Agoul mu wagtik bas," Faisal said. "Omniyah," he repeated sternly to me.

I finally found our driver, perfect timing.

"Ka say8na w9al," I told Faisal as I texted my mom that the driver was here.

"Inzain mumkin itdisheen 3ala ma tyi 3amiti?" he asked.

Zaid looked back and forth between us, and I think he knew who Faisal was when Faisal mentioned "3amiti".

"Oo int lay mita mjabilna inshallah?" Faisal told Zaid.

"Na6ir ikhti," he said.

"Oo 7abakat togaf 3ndaha?" Faisal asked. "Mat3arif itlif wayhik? Matkhaf 3ala ikhtik?"

"Faisal khala9," I blurted out. He was seriously blowing this up.

"Na3am? Itdaf3een 3anna?" Faisal asked.

Khalti Salwa and Zaina showed up almost at the same time and I could see Zaina's expression change when she looked at me next to Zaid.

"Zaid shlsalfa?" she asked.

"Ee yallah ishra7laha shlsalfa," Faisal said.

"Maku salfa bas khal inrou7," Zaid said, fed up of Faisal and this blown up drama.

"La2 ma3a hathi lazim aku salfa," Zaina said. Faisal looked at me china a7ad ma36ee 6rag.

"La7'6a la7'6a shnu?" Faisal said.

My mother showed up as well.

"Hala Faisal yuma shlonik?" she said as she looked around.

"Asfa intay bint Al-M, 3adil? Omniyah mu hathi rifeejtich?" my mom said to Zaina.

Shit.

I looked at Zaid who was speechless.

"Na3am?" Zaina said to my mom.

Zaina chuckled mn il7ara.

"Ana rifeejat bintich? 3ugub ili sawita ma3a ukhouy?" she said.

"Zaina," Zaid objected.

"La7'6a shlsalfa?" Faisal asked.

"Mashallah 3alaich lail7een ma7ad yadri inich 6ala3tay ma3a oo  r7tay '3urfita ba3ad?" Zaina spat out, and I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

"Zaina!" Zaid said.

"Ha?" Faisal said, dumbfounded, as he looked at me and then at Zaid, back and forth.

"Omniyah 9ij hal 7achi?" my mother said.

"Mn zman," I told her. What else could I say?

"Ilsayara al7een," my mother ordered me, her voice was shaky.


***

twitter: @cashmerepoison