She slapped me hard on my shoulder once we were in the car. She'd never hit me before. Yet I didn't object, I deserved it. I couldn't move, I was stunned. I couldn't emotionally grasp what was happening.
"Intay matisti7een 3ala wayhich?! Zain chithi fashaltay 3umrich oo fashalteeni jdam khalg allah?!" she yelled once we were inside the car.
"Shinu hatha? Shsawaiatay?! O kl hatha w wa7da ma3irifha tgouli?!" she added.
"Mn mita intay ma3a? Ana rabaitich 3ashan t'heeteen chithi?" she yelled again. I had never heard her scream like this. I felt she had so much more to say and that she wanted to slap me again for my reckless behavior but she was too stunned to do anything. I didn't blame her...however she didn't know the whole truth either.
"Yuma wallah asfa, bas hatha kila gabl sina, oo adri ini ghala6t bas ta'3ayart yuma please 9adgeeni!" I could only say. I was still in shock of everything, Zaid, Zaina, Faisal, it was all just a shock to me that I was surprised I could form a sentence.
"Latchathbeen! Al7een ballah shlon a9adgich 3ugub kil ili sima3ta mn wa7da thanya ana mali sh'3l feeha? Ra'6ya 3an nafsich t'heeteen ma3a 9bayan? La3ba 3ala 7sab walad oo ilwalad ilthani la3ib 3ala 7sabich? 7asbyallah 3alaich, intay mu binti," she said as she shook her head.
"Ilwalad thahab, thahab, oo chthi itsaween fee?" she said.
"Bas yuma hatha gabl Fa-"
"Intay chub bas!" she yelled again.
"Khaltich Salwa 3yizat tmda7 feech oo al7een shbtgoul 3annich? Ha? Zain chithi kharabtay 3ala 3umrich? Al7een mnu yabeech? Lo wild Al-M 9ij kan 7abich chan taqadam bas la3ib 3alaich."
I shut up.
I pressed my tongue against my cheek as my mother g3adat tad3i and scolded me.
"Shsawaitay ma3a?" she asked once she had calmed down.
I told her I'd gone out with him a couple of times and that was it. I struggled to find the words to put it in the least shameful way possible but I couldn't.
"Aha bas 6ala3tay ma3a?" she asked me. "Oo ma re7tay '3urfita?" she asked me.
"Imbala," I confessed.
"Mashallah ba3ad zahba tgouleen. Oo shsawaitay b '3urfita?" she asked me. I hoped she wasn't getting the wrong ideas.
"Masawait shay bas ga3adna nitkalam," I said softly.
"Bas ha?" she asked me.
"Yuma wallah gabl akth-"
"7ta law! Intay shnu ray7a wara '6ahri 3nd 9bay? Insay wara '6ahri, 3nd 9bay bkubra, min mita intay chithi?! Ga9aitay 3alay oo lail7een intay ga9a 3alay dam inich maglteeli ili 9ar!" she said.
"Yuma asfa, wallah madri shagoulich," I told her, and I could finally sense the tears cloud my vision. I truly was sorry, I'd never meant for anything to happen nor for my mother to get hurt.
"Mn ilyom oo rayi7 6al3at maku, ro7a 3nd Layal bilbait maku, mn ilbait lay iljam3a wala wallah 7ta iljam3a ma akhaleech itrou7een," she told me.
"Inshallah," I could only say.
The rest of the car ride home was fortunately silent, and I walked to my room with a big headache. My phone was vibrating in my clutch.
Faisal was calling.
***
"Intay matisti7een 3ala wayhich?! Zain chithi fashaltay 3umrich oo fashalteeni jdam khalg allah?!" she yelled once we were inside the car.
"Shinu hatha? Shsawaiatay?! O kl hatha w wa7da ma3irifha tgouli?!" she added.
"Mn mita intay ma3a? Ana rabaitich 3ashan t'heeteen chithi?" she yelled again. I had never heard her scream like this. I felt she had so much more to say and that she wanted to slap me again for my reckless behavior but she was too stunned to do anything. I didn't blame her...however she didn't know the whole truth either.
"Yuma wallah asfa, bas hatha kila gabl sina, oo adri ini ghala6t bas ta'3ayart yuma please 9adgeeni!" I could only say. I was still in shock of everything, Zaid, Zaina, Faisal, it was all just a shock to me that I was surprised I could form a sentence.
"Latchathbeen! Al7een ballah shlon a9adgich 3ugub kil ili sima3ta mn wa7da thanya ana mali sh'3l feeha? Ra'6ya 3an nafsich t'heeteen ma3a 9bayan? La3ba 3ala 7sab walad oo ilwalad ilthani la3ib 3ala 7sabich? 7asbyallah 3alaich, intay mu binti," she said as she shook her head.
"Ilwalad thahab, thahab, oo chthi itsaween fee?" she said.
"Bas yuma hatha gabl Fa-"
"Intay chub bas!" she yelled again.
"Khaltich Salwa 3yizat tmda7 feech oo al7een shbtgoul 3annich? Ha? Zain chithi kharabtay 3ala 3umrich? Al7een mnu yabeech? Lo wild Al-M 9ij kan 7abich chan taqadam bas la3ib 3alaich."
I shut up.
I pressed my tongue against my cheek as my mother g3adat tad3i and scolded me.
"Shsawaitay ma3a?" she asked once she had calmed down.
I told her I'd gone out with him a couple of times and that was it. I struggled to find the words to put it in the least shameful way possible but I couldn't.
"Aha bas 6ala3tay ma3a?" she asked me. "Oo ma re7tay '3urfita?" she asked me.
"Imbala," I confessed.
"Mashallah ba3ad zahba tgouleen. Oo shsawaitay b '3urfita?" she asked me. I hoped she wasn't getting the wrong ideas.
"Masawait shay bas ga3adna nitkalam," I said softly.
"Bas ha?" she asked me.
"Yuma wallah gabl akth-"
"7ta law! Intay shnu ray7a wara '6ahri 3nd 9bay? Insay wara '6ahri, 3nd 9bay bkubra, min mita intay chithi?! Ga9aitay 3alay oo lail7een intay ga9a 3alay dam inich maglteeli ili 9ar!" she said.
"Yuma asfa, wallah madri shagoulich," I told her, and I could finally sense the tears cloud my vision. I truly was sorry, I'd never meant for anything to happen nor for my mother to get hurt.
"Mn ilyom oo rayi7 6al3at maku, ro7a 3nd Layal bilbait maku, mn ilbait lay iljam3a wala wallah 7ta iljam3a ma akhaleech itrou7een," she told me.
"Inshallah," I could only say.
The rest of the car ride home was fortunately silent, and I walked to my room with a big headache. My phone was vibrating in my clutch.
Faisal was calling.
***
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