Essa my brother? A dealer? No wonder my dad kicked him out.
"Essa?" I said. "Bas shlon 3arafta?"
"A7ad 3a6ani raqma oo madarait uhwa ukhouch ila 3ugub ymkin thalath tashhir lama gali 3aylita," he said.
I didn't know if I was disappointed in him or in my brother, but I knew they both were having a hard time dealing with personal matters.
"I don't care inik ta3amalt ma3a. Ga3d yt7asan al7een. Bas please 3ashani don't do it," I said.
"Ba7awil," he said.
"Bas 3arif ina you're not alone," I told him and he smiled gratefully.
I looked at my phone, it was nearly 8 and I had only an hour to go back and get dressed into my pajamas until my mom came back.
"Lazim itrou7een?" he asked me.
"I did sneak out to see you," I said with a chuckle.
"3ashani don't do it again," he said.
"Ba7awil."
He tried to smile through his tears as he looked at my bare wrist.
"Wain ilCartier?" he asked me.
I scoffed. "Zaid 9arla arba3 isneen."
"Yabeelich wa7id thani," he said, with a smile.
I shook my head as I laughed. "Chub 3ad."
I quickly realized what I'd said and put my hands to my lips, and for some reason that made him crack up, and I laughed when he did. We lightened up after that deep conversation we'd just had, and I was glad it was over.
"Mashkoura, Niyah 3ala kil shay. Oo ana asif 3ala kil ili sawaita. Mu kafi ili ga3d agoula, adri," he said.
I didn't say anything.
"Fa 3ashan chithi abi atghayar 7ag ila7san, abi a9eer a7ad 9ij yistahlich, ma3a ina matwaqa3 ana abadan bastahlich mahma ta'3ayart. Fa 3a6eeni wagt asani3 mn nafsi. Mabeech trou7een wara umich 3ashan itshoufeeni wala tza3leenha inich tkalmeeni wara '6aharha. Already khasart umi, mabeech takhsireen umich 3ashani," he said, and I gulped, and the last part was really hard to hear.
"Zaid shkithir an6ir? Sina? Sintain?" I asked him. I was tired of waiting, but I would wait for him to get better.
He shrugged.
"Ma adri," he said.
"Don't forget me," I said, with a soft smile.
"Shlon ansach itha you're the only thing I have?" he said, and I smiled as I walked away after seeing the time on my phone.
"Okay 9ij lazim arou7," I said with a chuckle. "See you inshallah?" I said.
He nodded and smiled. "Inshallah."
"Oo good luck," I said as I left, and part of me left with him.
/
I got dressed into my pajamas and made it just in the nick of time. My mom entered the living room where I was and put some groceries on the table before leaving but I stopped her.
"Yuma bakalmich b maw'6ou3," I told her.
"Shnu?" she said.
I sighed as she sat next to me and I began to tell her everything (except the drugs and the video, because if he moved on, was willing to change, and wanted to put it behind him then why should I bring it up?)
I told her about how caring he was, how he had his heart broken because of his mother's death and that I was the only one there for him, I told her how happy he truly made me feel and how he bought me all these gifts as tokens of appreciation.
She was stunned, like genuinely stunned. I couldn't tell if she was mad, surprised, or a mix of everything.
"Oo kil hatha w ana madri?" she said. I bit my lip in anticipation of what was to come.
"Yuma adri kint '3abiya oo lail7een ana '3abiya bas wallah mahagait by9eer kil ili 9ar. Ana asfa, wallah, madri shagoul," I told her.
"Bas mabi akhsirich 3ashan hal salfa," I added.
She sat silently.
"Tadreen ini wayid mt'6ayga oo ma9douma minich 9a7?" she asked.
"Akeed, ma aloumich," I replied.
"Al7een malich 3ila8a ma3a?" she asked me. I shook my head.
"Mani mkalmita wala shay," I said, which was true, until he felt like he has changed. Whenever that was, and that in itself worried me.
"L2ana tadreen haman ina uhwa mu mina wala intay minhum, 9a7? Ya3ni shftay ikhta oo 6areeqat'hum '3air 3anna, uhma wayid free," she said.
I stayed silent, and it came to a shock to me. I should've expected it but I was shocked for some reason.
She didn't approve of him, and I knew his family would never in hell approve of me. I was so anxious for the future and I could only hear his voice ring in my head that he would never forget me.
***
So I'm going to officially be posting two chapters a day:)
Can't wait to post my next story, already working on it!xx
"Essa?" I said. "Bas shlon 3arafta?"
"A7ad 3a6ani raqma oo madarait uhwa ukhouch ila 3ugub ymkin thalath tashhir lama gali 3aylita," he said.
I didn't know if I was disappointed in him or in my brother, but I knew they both were having a hard time dealing with personal matters.
"I don't care inik ta3amalt ma3a. Ga3d yt7asan al7een. Bas please 3ashani don't do it," I said.
"Ba7awil," he said.
"Bas 3arif ina you're not alone," I told him and he smiled gratefully.
I looked at my phone, it was nearly 8 and I had only an hour to go back and get dressed into my pajamas until my mom came back.
"Lazim itrou7een?" he asked me.
"I did sneak out to see you," I said with a chuckle.
"3ashani don't do it again," he said.
"Ba7awil."
He tried to smile through his tears as he looked at my bare wrist.
"Wain ilCartier?" he asked me.
I scoffed. "Zaid 9arla arba3 isneen."
"Yabeelich wa7id thani," he said, with a smile.
I shook my head as I laughed. "Chub 3ad."
I quickly realized what I'd said and put my hands to my lips, and for some reason that made him crack up, and I laughed when he did. We lightened up after that deep conversation we'd just had, and I was glad it was over.
"Mashkoura, Niyah 3ala kil shay. Oo ana asif 3ala kil ili sawaita. Mu kafi ili ga3d agoula, adri," he said.
I didn't say anything.
"Fa 3ashan chithi abi atghayar 7ag ila7san, abi a9eer a7ad 9ij yistahlich, ma3a ina matwaqa3 ana abadan bastahlich mahma ta'3ayart. Fa 3a6eeni wagt asani3 mn nafsi. Mabeech trou7een wara umich 3ashan itshoufeeni wala tza3leenha inich tkalmeeni wara '6aharha. Already khasart umi, mabeech takhsireen umich 3ashani," he said, and I gulped, and the last part was really hard to hear.
"Zaid shkithir an6ir? Sina? Sintain?" I asked him. I was tired of waiting, but I would wait for him to get better.
He shrugged.
"Ma adri," he said.
"Don't forget me," I said, with a soft smile.
"Shlon ansach itha you're the only thing I have?" he said, and I smiled as I walked away after seeing the time on my phone.
"Okay 9ij lazim arou7," I said with a chuckle. "See you inshallah?" I said.
He nodded and smiled. "Inshallah."
"Oo good luck," I said as I left, and part of me left with him.
/
I got dressed into my pajamas and made it just in the nick of time. My mom entered the living room where I was and put some groceries on the table before leaving but I stopped her.
"Yuma bakalmich b maw'6ou3," I told her.
"Shnu?" she said.
I sighed as she sat next to me and I began to tell her everything (except the drugs and the video, because if he moved on, was willing to change, and wanted to put it behind him then why should I bring it up?)
I told her about how caring he was, how he had his heart broken because of his mother's death and that I was the only one there for him, I told her how happy he truly made me feel and how he bought me all these gifts as tokens of appreciation.
She was stunned, like genuinely stunned. I couldn't tell if she was mad, surprised, or a mix of everything.
"Oo kil hatha w ana madri?" she said. I bit my lip in anticipation of what was to come.
"Yuma adri kint '3abiya oo lail7een ana '3abiya bas wallah mahagait by9eer kil ili 9ar. Ana asfa, wallah, madri shagoul," I told her.
"Bas mabi akhsirich 3ashan hal salfa," I added.
She sat silently.
"Tadreen ini wayid mt'6ayga oo ma9douma minich 9a7?" she asked.
"Akeed, ma aloumich," I replied.
"Al7een malich 3ila8a ma3a?" she asked me. I shook my head.
"Mani mkalmita wala shay," I said, which was true, until he felt like he has changed. Whenever that was, and that in itself worried me.
"L2ana tadreen haman ina uhwa mu mina wala intay minhum, 9a7? Ya3ni shftay ikhta oo 6areeqat'hum '3air 3anna, uhma wayid free," she said.
I stayed silent, and it came to a shock to me. I should've expected it but I was shocked for some reason.
She didn't approve of him, and I knew his family would never in hell approve of me. I was so anxious for the future and I could only hear his voice ring in my head that he would never forget me.
***
So I'm going to officially be posting two chapters a day:)
Can't wait to post my next story, already working on it!xx
now i am feeling anxious tooo ;(
ReplyDeleteYa raby. I don't know why parents always put generalizations based on families. Ya3ny two people want each other, laish endakhel the WHOOOOLLLLEEEEEEEE family min el 9obain.
ReplyDeleteJust when I thought things are looking up :(
Mashallah, your ability to keep us on our toes is amazing.
Thank you for the upcoming two posts a day... Can't wait!!!
FH