If You Only Knew Me (24 ◇ Muneera)

Happy reading, 

Cashmere
***

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016...

Fahad: yallah na6rech...coffee??

Me: eeeh yallah. next tuesday? only day I'm free bidoun studying

Fahad: eeeh khoush 3ayal

Me: i miss you wallah!!

Fahad: mo kethry manoura...

I smiled. I loved it when he called me by my nickname.

 I was still not over him and the fact that almost everyone saw us together at the carnival really meant something. He wasn't ashamed to be seen with me. I truly felt worthy when I was with him, and Rawan was so jealous she called her mother to tell her about us.

It was so worth it, even if I almost got my phone confiscated. Jana was only over at my house because we were supposed to be working on a project together.

"امبيه مو قاعد يرد على اي شي، ادق عليه يطلعلي مشغول"
Jana said.

"من متى؟"
I asked her.

"من امس بالليل...طرشتله مسج وشافه ولا رد. امبيه منّور تهقين مل منّي؟ سويت شي غلط؟"
Jana began to panic.

"جنوي يمكن بس وايد مشغول عادي، باجر بيرد عليج"
I tried to keep her calm.

"...لا منور...اتوقع لأن شسمه"
She said, lowering her voice.

"شنو؟"
I said confused.

"فهميها"
She said.

It couldn't be.

"جنى تعرفيني، مادري شنو قصدج"
I said bluntly.

She sighed, only giving me this look and I realized what she'd meant. I only gawked at her.

"من صجج؟"
I said, surprised at her.

"منور بس خلاص صار اللي صار وترى عادي وايد يسوونها ما تأثر"
She said.

"...جنى"
I could only say.
I never knew I knew people who were okay with doing these things. I thought it was only people I didn't know, but I guess we all had our secrets.

"ادري لا تقولين اني غبية بس منّور شسوي والله احبه احبه ما ابيه يهدني عقبها"
She said, almost tearing up.
I couldn't make her feel guilty anymore. She already felt bad about herself and Khalid wasn't picking up.

"جنوووي اصلا يحصله وحدة نفسج، وقلتلج بيدق لا تحاتين"
I said, forcing myself to comfort her.

Before we knew it the door stormed open and Danah barged into the living room before she walked to...my room?

"دقيقة"
I told Jana as I walked hastily to my room.

Danah was now pulling open my vanity drawers and jewelry box.

"دانة شقاعدة تسوين؟"
I asked her.

"وينه؟"
She said. Her face was red now, fumed with anger.

"وين شنو؟"
I asked her.

"منيرة لا تستهبلين! وين السلسلة؟"
She yelled and I gulped. I knew Jana could hear everything.

She yanked open my button-up blouse, sending buttons flying to the floor and exposing my undershirt...and her necklace.

"هقيت والله. فصخيه"
She said, trying to control her anger.

Tears were starting to roll down my cheeks.

"رفيجتي هني"
I said and she scoffed.

"ما تفهمين؟"
She yelled again and I gulped. My fingers quivered and I struggled to take the necklace off. Tears continued to drop onto the floor.

"يالله"
She yelled.

"كا"
I said, handing her the necklace.
I was terrified of her.
She turned to the door and pointed.

"وهالبنت هاذي ماتدش بيتنا مرة ثانية...من رافجتي هالأشكال بديتي تصيرين نفسهم...وطبعا ما تأسفتي "
She said and I gulped. Tears were clouding my eyes now.

"اسفة"
I said with a shaky voice and Danah scoffed.

She was wrong about Jana. If anything, Jana really brought me out of my shell. It was because of her I was with Fahad and it was because of her that I actually had friends at all.

Danah just glared at me and stormed out of the room, putting the necklace back where it belonged. On her neck and not mine. 

I was left with nothing but a torn blouse and nothing on my neck. I went to my closet to pick out a new blouse I could wear.

"منيرة؟"
Jana said as she walked into my room.
Her eyes widened as she saw me and I was helpless, she walked hurriedly to me now, because she sensed I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I broke down.
I hugged her and cried on her shoulder.

"ما احبها ما احبها"
I said as I sobbed.

I meant every word of it and now I was sure the feeling was mutual.
Danah actually felt something towards me and that was hate. For once I wished she didn't feel anything towards me.