If You Only Knew Me (34 ◇ Muneera)

Happy reading, 

Cashmere
***

Wednesday, December 14th, 2016...

"لا، وخري، لا تجيسيني"
I told Rosegold who my maid was walking as I went to the car.

I got in and replied to Fahad's text.

Fahad: ay wa7ed a7la?

He'd sent me pictures of two Nike shoes for me to pick from, which I thought was so cute of him to do.

Me: awal wa7daa akeeed 7ail laygatlek!!

Fahad: khala9 3ayal bakheth awal wa7da. akhethlech shay ma3ay?

Me: laa thank you wallah so sweet!

Part of me was still wondering if I should've sent him those pictures. I guessed I was so scared that I might lose him, that he might want more and think I wouldn't give it to him. I didn't regret it now that he was still the same, if anything he was talking to me much more often and I loved it.

Jana was calling me now.

"Heeey," I replied as I checked  my reflection in the driver's mirror.

"Guess mino tawny shift bl Makan?" she said and I gasped.

"لا تقولييين"
I said.

"...تخيلي...طبعا سوى نفسه ما يعرفني...منيرة شلون يسيوي فيني جذي؟ وتخيلي ان خطيبته معاه"
She said and I gulped...how was I supposed to reply to that?

"والله لو قدرت اتكلم جان قلتلها شي بس تنحت بمكاني"
She added.

"جنى والله لا تتحسفين عليه ترى هو حمااار "
I said and she sighed.

" بس الحين انا بالحمام ناطرتهم يمشون...وتخيلي انا مع اخواني يعني لو يدرون جان ذبحوني انا وياه، افف ابي ارد البيت"
She said.

"واي لو مو هاليمعة جان ييبت عندج او قلتلج تيين عندي"
I said, looking at my watch. It was almost 8:15, I was 45 minutes late.

"اي صج يمعة شنو؟"
She asked me.

"مادري بنات خالي يبون يتيمعون يقولون من زمان ما قعدنا كلنا مع بعض"
I replied.

"Fun," she said. I'd never heard her say she was visiting anyone and this was probably the first time she told me about going out with her brothers.

"صح؟"
I said.

"tumblrواحد ب I stalk انزين يالله بكمل"
She said before she hung up. I hoped it was just a "moving on" thing and not a rebound one.

I arrived at my cousins' house in Adailiya soon enough and took a deep breath before carrying the box of mini sandwiches up with me to the steps. I stepped inside and handed the box to one of the maids by the door and checked on my reflection in the mirror at the entrance.

I was wearing a pair of leather leggings with knee-high boots and a gorgeous royal blue top I found online. My hair was in loose waves and my makeup, which I had applied, really flaunted my features. I pulled out Rawan's perfume and sprayed it on myself.

I took a deep breath before I walked to the main reception just three steps away, they were already laughing and the gathering had started long ago.

"السلام"
I said as I smiled and walked in.

"Oh hi!" my cousin Nourah said as she stood up and hugged me. I noticed it wasn't like all of them stood up at once but they only stood up to greet me when I called their names as I passed them.

"Hi," Rawan simply said as she sat down and waved at me.
"Sorry maly khelg agoum," she said with a laugh that I ignored.
She looked pretty in an oversized black sweater dress with fur sleeves at the end. I hated how she always managed to look pretty with her gorgeous hair and perfect makeup. I was slowly catching up though and I was proud of that.

I turned to greet the rest of my cousins, along with their friends. This was bigger than I'd expected. Danah and Rahaf, Rawan's sister were at the end. Danah looked stunning in a simple black cardigan, black top and black pants.

"Hi," I told Rahaf before she hugged me.

"الله كلونيتج تينن" she said while Danah was busy on her phone as usual.

"مشكورة"
I said.

"شسمها؟"
She asked me but in a friendly tone.

"نسيت والله"
I said with a chuckle.

"جني شفتج ترشينها بالدخلة؟ اشوي تذكرت"
She said with a chuckle and I faked a laugh. My heart was pounding, I was definitely exposed.

I fished inside my bag and took a step to my right so I would be blocking Rawan's view.

I pulled out the perfume and Rahaf responded with an "aaaah 3araft'haaa"

"وانا اقول وين شامتها من قبل! روان كانت تحطها"
She said as she took a look at the bottle. I watched Danah look up from her phone and then at me. She was glaring now and I felt my heart speed up...she knew.

"منيرة بكلمج شوي"
My sister said as she stood up. I watched her walk to Rawan and call her over.

No, no, she couldn't tell Rawan...

"منيرة"
Danah called to me again, she really looked pissed off.

Danah, Rawan, who was confused, and I walked to the dining room next to the reception.

"راويها كلونيتج"
Danah snapped at me. I only gaped at her...how could she do this to me? I was her sister.
I might've done something wrong but she wasn't supposed to involve Rawan in this.

"منيرة"
She snapped again and I pulled it out. I watched Rawan's eyes widen and her lips part in realization that I was holding her perfume.

"روان هذي كلونيتج اللي ضاعت؟"
Danah asked her.

"امبيه اي"
Rawan said.

"اخذيها"
Danah said.

"مو مالتج؟"
Rawan said, looking at me.

"قوليلها"
Danah said, crossing her arms now.

"لا...مالتج. انا اللي خذيتها"
I said and Rawan scoffed. She grabbed the perfume from my hand.

"انزين مو مفكرة تعتذرين او شي؟"
Rawan said.

"انا برد بس منيرة بكلمج بروحج"
Danah said.

"Thank you, Danah," Rawan said while Danah guided me to a more isolated area.

"شسالفتج مع البوق؟"
She snapped and I gulped.

"منيرة"
Danah said and I was sure the other girls heard her scream my name.

"...بس-بس كنت بحرها"
I said as I was mumbling.

"اها وانتي كنتي بتحريني يعني؟"
She said about her necklace and I shook my head.

"كنت برد قلبج"
I said and she scoffed.

 "طبعا بتردينه عقب ما تنجكين. والله ان شفتج بايقة شي من احد بفضحج جدام الكل حمدي ربج ما فشلتج جدامهم كلهم"
She said, I opened my mouth to say something but she stomped away and I was left alone with Rawan as I walked back to her.

I was completely screwed.

"ناوية تاخذين كل شي مني يعني؟"
She snarked while raising her brow.

She was back, no more sweet Rawan.

"شقصدج؟"
I said, did she know I stole her lipstick?

"فهد"
She said and I gulped.
My heart just skipped two beats in a row and I felt my stomach twist in knots now. Did she know?

"ن-نعم؟"
I said.

"لا تسوين نفسج ما تدرين...اعرف اللي بينكم وقالي عن الصور اللي طرشتيها"
She said with a devilish grin.

My body was burning up now and I was starting to feel light-headed.
How did she know?

"ش-شدراج؟"
I said.

"حبيبتي ترى هو قاص عليج...اعرف كل شي بينكم. تبيني اعلم دانة او خالتي عن شنو طرشتيله؟"
She threatened and I shook my head.

"عيل وقفي هالحركات معاه"
She said, was she jealous?

"ليش؟ قمتي تغارين؟؛"
I finally fought back and she scoffed.

"يا ماما اغار من شنو؟ انتي تقزورة  حبيبتي لا تصدقين عمرج بس قاعدة اقولج وقفي عشان سمعتج لأن الولد قاعد يفضحج"
She said.

My eyes were clouding with tears while my head was heavy, this could not be true,

"كنتي تدرين ان انا حاطة عيني عليه وانتي وقواة عينج حاولتي تاخذينه قطيعة والله حمدي ربج ما فضحتج عند دانة"
She said as she looked at me up and down in disgust before she brushed past me to the main reception area.

I was lost.
How did she know about me and Fahad?
How did she know about the pictures I'd sent him?
But Fahad...my Fahad...was he never mine all this time?

Tears streamed down my cheek and I ran to the bathroom right behind me only to break down in tears. My shaky fingers twisted the faucets open as I washed my face. I couldn't dare look at myself in the mirror. I was so ashamed and so disgusted with myself.

No wonder Danah didn't like me and no wonder Fahad was playing all along.