If You Only Knew Me (22 ◇ Muneera)

I usually rely on the blog comments below for questions but some requested my Sarahah:

Link to Sarahah

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Happy reading, 

Cashmere
***

Saturday, October 22nd, 2016...

"امبيه منور شوفي حدنا متأخرين"
Jana told me as she looked outside the car window. The street outside Sirbb Circuit was packed with cars and people my age getting out of the cars to the carnival. We could hear the loud music from inside the car and I couldn't be more excited.

"مادري منو اللي قعدعت ساعة تحطلي مكياج"
I told her.

"اي عشان بعدين مو تقولينلي ليش ما قلتلج تتسنعين حقه"
She said and I shut up, she did have a point.

"يالله خل ننزل"
I told her. We got out of the car in our Juniors - Volunteers yellow shirt and skinny jeans plus Golden Goose, of course. Jana's jeans were skinny enough to show off her underwear line, she was that extra. We walked inside the gates and I couldn't help but stare at the scene in front of me: the booths, the young people walking in groups, the music...the atmosphere was definitely one I was waiting to experience. Like I finally belonged.

"امشي خنروح عند لمى نساعدها"
Jana said as she grabbed my arm to walk to Lama, who was sorting out some medals.

"Lamaa!" Jana said, hugging her. She introduced us to one another before we were assigned a task to sort out the medals in boxes.

Jana started to sway her body to the music now, moving her butt up and down. She was grabbing attention from the girls next to us as well as some guys but I started to laugh at their reactions.

"امبيه شدعوه؟"
Jana said as she looked around.

"والله تعرفين"
I told her.

"شرايج عيل؟"
She said with a wink.

"امبيه هذي مو روانوه؟"
She told me, and I loved how she called her "Rawano" when she hadn't even met her.

I turned my head and felt my jaw drop.

"امبيييه اي"
I said. She was accompanied by two other girls I didn't know plus Kadi. The pink coat on her shoulders was starting to slip so the two girls actually adjusted it like they were her minions.

"من صجهم؟"
Jana said and I laughed.

"امبييه"
I couldn't help but say.

We put the boxes aside, which we finished, to watch.

"طالعي صوب المدخل"
Jana said and I did as she said.

Khalid now entered with his phone on his ear and Jana's phone rang. He looked cool in a pair of jeans and gray shirt and I knew Jana was over the moon. I turned to see her with a huge smile on her face.

"كاني يايتك اشوفك لا تتحرّك"
She said.

"شوفي وراج"
She said with a wink before she dashed off.

I did as she said to see Fahad right behind me checking out the booths, still not aware that I was in front of him. He looked so handsome in a pair of white shorts, white shirt and a light black cardigan plus a cap worn backwards. He had his sunglasses on and I couldn't help but gawk at how hot he was.
And the best part?
He was mine.

I watched his neck turn towards me and he slowed down before he smiled at me, showing off those cute dimples of his.

"Volunteer ha?" he said as he leaned on my table. The volunteers next to me were definitely looking at us now. He looked too good not to look at.

"Mhmm," I said. "A36eek tour?" I said, remembering when Jana asked Khalid for a tour of his chalet.

"Yallah," he said and I smiled. I noticed Rawan was walking towards the booths on my side now and I smiled to myself. She was going to have the surprise of a lifetime.

"فهني عندنا البوثات، طبعا"
I said with a chuckle loud enough for her to realize it was me. And it worked, she snapped her neck towards me and I could sense her looking at Fahad. She lowered her sunglasses to make sure she was seeing things right then she looked back at me as he followed me. The best part? He paid her no attention.

I beamed to myself.

"race trackوهني طبعا ال"
I said and he started to laugh.

"شفيك؟"
I said.

"Arda tour guide sheft'ha," he said.

"Chub I'm trying!" I told him, almost nudging him and he started to laugh.

"وفوق شنو طبعا اكو؟"
He mocked me.

"خلاص ماني مكملة زعلت"
I joked.

"خلاص خلاص والله اتغشمر كملي"
He said and I glared at him before smiling.

"خل اراويك باجي البوثات"
I said and he followed me.

We walked around the different booths, of course each girl looked at Khalid then at me, wondering what I, a junior, was doing with the hottest senior.

"خلووود وينك؟؟"
One of Khalid's friends suddenly said and I kept my distance.

"والله قعدت افتر، خوش كارنفل ها؟"
He said, he turned to me quickly and mouthed "خمس دقايق" while he walked with the guys, leaving me alone.

I wondered where Jana was. Just as I turned around I came face to face with Rawan. There was no escaping now.

A sour smile appeared on her lips.

"Oh hi," she said, hugging me quickly.

"اهلا، شخبارج؟"
I said.

"تمام"
She said and her eyes moved to my right.

"روان صح؟"
I heard Fahad next to me say. Rawan's jaw almost dropped.

"امم اي...فهد؟"
She said, as if she didn't stalk him.

"اي...شخبارج؟"
He said, and I felt him inch near me. I was dancing inside.

"الحمدلله تمام"
She said before she looked at me, confused.

"اممم احنا بنكمل ف....نشوفج"
I told her before I turned on my heels and walked away from her with Fahad right behind me.

He snickered as soon as we were away from her.

"شفتي شلون خزّتج؟"
He asked me and I smiled. We walked up the stairs now to see the racetrack better.

"اشكره محترة"
I said with a wink and he chuckled. We walked on the platform and leaned against the barrier to look at the track under us.

"ليش ما سقت؟ احس تعرف"
I asked him. Cold wind was starting to run through my hair now.

"قلت امشي معاج اونس"
He said and I smiled. I wasn't afraid to show it.

I inched closer to him until our shoulders were almost touching and I looked up at him. He looked back at me and smiled softly. I knew what we were both thinking.

"حاطة الحمرة اللي خذيتيها معاي؟"
He asked me, he lowered his sunglasses to look at my lips.

"يمكن"
I said, raising my brows and he chuckled.

Was he going to make a move like Jana had said?
Maybe it wasn't his thing...our skins never even touched on purpose.

I watched the people walking below us now and saw Jana walking alone now while Khalid was walking past her; I guessed he needed to go.

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

Jana was calling.

"شوفي فوق"
I said and she looked up before seeing me and Fahad, who was waving at her and chuckling.

"وين بيروح خالد؟"
I asked her.

"زوارة"
She said.

"انزين امشي معانا"
I told her.

"اي يالله"
She said before she hung up.

"عادي؟"
I asked Fahad with a cheeky grin.

"عيل تعوظيني بطلعة"
He said.

"اهاا ما شبعت مني؟"
I teased and he chuckled.

"شلون اشبع منج؟"
He said and I blushed.

My phone buzzed again and I felt weird. Jana was usually the only one who called me, other than my mother.

I looked at my phone: my mother was calling.

"الو؟"
I said once I picked it up.

"وينج في؟"
She asked, sounding a bit angry. My heart started to race.

"المدرسة carnival بسرب حق"
I said.

"ردي البيت الحين"
She said.

"-يما شلون ارد قلت حق السايق ير"
I said but she cut me off.

"ردي البيت الحين منيرة بدون نقاش"
She yelled through the phone and I gulped. She hung up and didn't give me a chance to speak.

"لازم ارد الحين"
I said.

"جد؟"
Jana said and I nodded. Fahad just looked at me.

I called the driver and told him to pick me up again.

"جنى بتردين معاي؟"
I asked her.

"اي يالله، بس خل سايقج يوصلج اول اخاف اأخرج"
She said.

"انا بعد لازم امشي، ربعي ناطريني تحت"
Fahad said.

I sighed, I just wished we could stay longer here.

We walked around the booths five times before my driver gave me a missed call.

"امبيه مادري ليش امي معصبة"
I said as I got into the car.

"يمكن على دانة"
Jana said, sitting next to me and I scoffed.

"صدقيني محد يزف دانة"
I said.

"امبيه انا اتمنى احد يزفني"
She joked but I knew there was some truth to it. She almost never spoke of her home life but from the little hints she dropped here and there I sensed it wasn't a good one.

"ليش؟"
I asked her and she shrugged.

"امي كله مسافرة وابوي لاهي بشغلة فأسوي اللي ابيه...وناسة بس مو وناسة"
She said.

"Oh..." I said.

We played music on the way home and my heart started beating right when the driver stopped in front of my house.

"Good luck," Jana said before she hugged me.

"Thank you," I said as I got out.

I entered my house, which was dead quiet and walked up the stairs to my room.

Should I look for my mother? Should I just stay in my room? I didn't know. I sat on my bed instead and went through my social media apps as a distraction.

My bedroom door opened, only instead of my nanny walking in, as usual, my mother walked in and she didn't look happy...

Her eyebrows were knit together, bringing out the wrinkles in her forehead.

"انتي شمسوية؟"
My mother asked me.

I gulped, what was she talking about?

"ما فهمت"
I said.

"ما فهمتي بعد ها؟"
She yelled.

She stormed towards me and before I knew it she slapped me hard on my face.

I nearly fell off the bed. I was so caught off guard...I wasn't expecting this.

"ماشية مع صبي وتضحكين معاه وحط ايده عليج؟"
She yelled.

Rawan.

It had to be her that told my mother, and I knew she had to twist the truth...but my mother wouldn't believe me.

"انا وابوج ما قطينا عليج عشان تحوسين عند صبيان"
She said and I couldn't say anything, I was shocked. How did she think this of her own daughter?

"يما قلتل-"

"!انتي جب ولا كلمة"
She said and I stepped back, fearing that she might slap me again.

"شنازل عليج؟ ولا يكون حسبالج الحين صج ميتين عليج مع لبسج الفاصخ؟ صايرة زبالة"
My mother told me and each word was like a knife piercing through me. I was wearing a pair of ripped jeans but they weren't too tight either...were they?
Danah went out in more revealing clothes but she still won my mother's approval.

I wasn't Danah...I could never be her.

"من اليوم ورايح من المدرسة سيدا لي البيت لا طلعة ولا شي، مو كفو شي"
She said.

"ان شاء الله"
I said.

"ترى انا كلّش مالي خلقج انتي وسوالفج"
She said before she walked out and slammed the door hard behind her. I could still feel the sting of her slap on my cheek, it really hurt.