If You Only Knew Me (7 ◇ Fajer)

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Happy reading, 

Cashmere
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Sunday, September 11th 2016,


اهلين شوق، معاج فجر الف...بنت اختي ليان ودها تشوف هيونة. يناسبكم اليوم؟


I sent a text to Shoug off the number Haya gave to me last night. I was in my G-Class with Layan in the backseat.

"امشي يالله"
I said to Layan.

I waited for Shoug's reply while I took Layan to Pick to get frozen yogurt, where I held her hand to get to the store. She had the habit of getting too excited and running off on her own.
We entered pick, which was almost empty except for two other people waiting for their orders. 
I walked with Layan to the counter to order.

"Small original, with pistachio sauce and extra choco biscuit," I told the woman Layan's order. "And I'll get one small parfait to go please."
I was so tempted to have one now.

We waited, hungrily, until our orders were ready and checked my phone, seeing if there was any message I'd missed. 

Shoug still hadn't replied. 

I sent a message to Haya's father, made it very formal and sent it.

He replied just a minute later.


 وعليكم السلام فجر، هيونة ليلحين بالمستشفى زاد عليها العوار الفير، بس حياكم راح تستانس . غرفة ٥٠٦


He replied.

"خالتي فجر ترى خلص"
Layan said excitedly as she picked up her yogurt, ready to eat it. 
I grabbed my parfait, hoping I wouldn't make a mess in the car while eating it. 

"يالله ليان اكلي بالسيارة"
I told my niece as I ushered her to the car.

 I drove to the hospital with Layan busy eating her froyo and singing Taylor Swift songs. 
We parked and carried Haya's present, which was a pretty expensive interactive handheld Layan insisted on getting. I would make it up when I had a job, no worries.

My phone buzzed.

Hi Fajer! She is in room 507

I had to scoff. I let the English and her very 'blunt' response go, but "she" and "507" when her room was 506? I couldn't believe it.

I checked my reflection against the elevator mirror; I insisted Fouz to let Layan wear anything but dark colors. I was dressed in a bright pink skirt and a blue and pink battered blouse coupled with a pair of navy and silver heels to match my outfit. My hair was down my shoulders in waves and my makeup was light and simple. Layan looked cute in her blue skirt and white shirt and a pair of silver sneakers.

I walked with her hand in hand and knocked on the door of 506, taking a deep breath. A curly-haired girl of around fifteen opened it with a confused look on her face. Maybe Shoug was right.

"Layoun?" she suddenly said and Layan gave me the present before hugging her. I smiled and walked in, saying ilsalam.

Shoug was wrong. 

Two women, one who looked in her mid fifties and a younger one, in her thirties, stood up to shake hands.

"يا هلا مرحبا"

They said, the most formal greeting people can ever say. They seemed confused, like I obviously looked too young to be a mother of a seven-year old. I went over to Haya and kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

"Hi Hayouna," I said as I caressed her hair while she looked shy.

" الحمدلله اليوم ردت روحتها شحلوها صايرة"

I said to Haya's father in front of me, whom I forgot to say hello to.

He was wearing a white dishdasha with his sleeves folded up.  He looked more relaxed now and I could finally see his true features; he had a sharp jawline with equally sharp features; bold eyes with neatly arched brows, a nose that wasn't big nor small and a pair of average-sized lips that hid a bright smile. 

"اي الحمدلله، شترت دام شافت ليون"

He said as he looked at my niece, who was now on the sick girl's bed.

"Layan!" I called out in embarrassment.

"شوفي شنو يبتلج!"

Layan said, ignoring me. She began to tear the wrapping paper off Haya's present and I couldn't utter a word from how embarrassed I was.

I sat down and stared at Haya beaming at the gift before she let out a gasp.

"شيقولون؟"

Haya's father said, with a smile on his face.

"مشكورة"

Haya said a bit shyly.

"وجنه في وحدة هني ما سلمت علي؟"

He said and my heart stopped beating, he couldn't mean me, could he? 
Layan suddenly stood up on the bed, making me gasp, and hugged Haya's father while he laughed and hugged her back.

I covered my eyes with my hand in embarrassment, thanks to Layan.

"ابيه انا جدا اسفة"

I said and the two women laughed.

"يحليلها اختج؟"

The older woman who had a friendly face asked me.

"لا والله بنت اختي"

I explained.

"اي ما شا الله"

The woman simply said.

"عيل اتدلعينها ها؟"

The younger woman said with a smile on her face and I chuckled.

"لا والله امها تدلعها اكثر مني"

I joked and they laughed.

We watched Layan and Haya play with the handheld, with Layan right next to her. Haya's father was looking at them play too.

My phone buzzed in my hand. Khalid was calling, I put it on silent and stuffed it in my phone.

"تفضلي"

The teenage girl told me as she held out a tray of chocolate. I took one and thanked her.

"شكلها خوش لعبة"

The younger woman said.

"اي هيون عيزت تدورها الله يعافيكم لقيتوها"

Haya's father said and I smiled as I unwrapped the chocolate.

"عليها بالعافية"

I said with a smile and his eyes landed right on mine. A knock on the door interrupted us before two women in their thirties walked in with a guy around my age. It was definitely our cue to leave.

"Layan," I called out for my niece, who was still on the bed. She groaned and got out with the help of Haya's father, who carried her out of the bed. 

I shook hands with the two women, who looked like they were wondering who I was.

"يالله مع السلامة"

I said to the two women I'd greeted first. 

"فرصة سعيدة حبيبتي"

The younger one said, making me smile. 

"وانا اسعد"

I replied.

I waved goodbye to Haya, who was now comfortable enough to wave back. 
Haya's father escorted us politely outside the hospital room and closed the door behind him.

"مشكورين على اليية وعلى الهدية"

He began to say as he walked with us through the hallway of the ward.

"ما سوينا شي وتستاهل هيونة اكثر"

I said, listening to the sound of my heels click and clack loudly against the linoleum floor.

"Yallah bye Layoun," he said as we reached the elevator.

"Bye 3ami Abdullah!" she said as she hugged him and he chuckled, patting her back. So I finally knew his name.

"مع السلامة"

He told me, with a friendly smile on his face.

Before I could reply, the elevator doors opened and a whiff of familiar perfume filled my nose. The woman inside walked out with a driver holding a tray of chocolate and flowers. She looked stunning in a black jumpsuit and a bright scarf hanging on her shoulders, with voluminous curled hair and perfect makeup.

Shoug.

I couldn't help but watch Abdullah glare at his wife. I grabbed Layan's hand and dragged her inside before she ran off to say hi to Shoug and make it more awkward. The elevator doors closed and the last thing I saw was Abdullah calling out her name.

"Shoug," he called out.

So many things can happen behind closed doors, literally.

I called Khalid right as we got to the ground floor. 

"الو"

He said once he picked up.

"Hi, you called?"

I said as we walked to my car.

"اي ليش ما رديتي؟"

He asked me.

"كنت مع ليّون عند رفيجتها بالمستشفى"

I said.

"Oh, betrou7een ilgym?"

He asked me.

"Eeh lazm I'm there in thirty minutes madry shloun byamdy"

I said as I got into the car.

"يمديج حبيبتي بس لا تستعيلين، وقالتلج ياسمين؟"

He asked me.

"لا عن شنو؟"

I said, now revving up the engine.

"بنطلع اليوم على العشا، ثلاثتنا"

He said.

I was already busy enough.

"خالد مادري شلون بيمديني ولازم اتسبح"

I said.

"يالله عاد طلبتج فجورة لا ترديني صاير ما اشوفج"

He said, making me feel guilty. I bit my lip.

"ان شاء الله"

I said.

"I miss you ،اخليج عيّل ...اشوفج ان شاء الله"

He said.

"I miss you too," I replied with a smile before we hung up.

"منو خالد؟"

Layan turned to ask me.

"عيب ما يسألون هالأسئلة"

I told her, what else was I supposed to say?

I drove to her house me7tarma nafsy bil speed until I dropped her off then I basically drove a minimum of 140 all the way to the gym since my usual spinning class with the girls was in ten minutes. 

I dashed through the parking and elevator to the changing area then the studio, where I was late two minutes and everyone was already on their bikes.

"وين كنتي؟"

Danah hissed at me as she spanned.

"لوية"

I said as I strapped my feet to the pedals and joined in on the exercise that I just couldn't keep up with no matter how often I did it. It was really draining and knowing I had to dress up again to go to dinner tonight stressed me out even more. I was already exhausted. 

As I was spinning my mind couldn't help but wonder about Abdullah and Shoug. What really was their relationship like? I saw the way he looked at her, like he had just given up on her and she didn't really care at all.

Was this going to be me and Khalid when we got older?

I spun until the class was finally over and we all but Danah found ourselves panting by the end of it.

"امبيه شدعوه"

Danah said as she sipped on her water. 

We walked around the gym to get to the changing area and passed by a girl using the treadmill that a woman once threw up on and we found ourselves giggling.

"Shhh..." I told the girls and they quieted down but Danah went to talk to the girl, who looked familiar now that she turned around. Where had I seen her.

"دانوه من صجها بتقولها؟"

Mariam said with a chuckle, walking to the changing area.

"امبيه جد مادري"

Lulu replied.

"يا جماعة انا لازم امشي"

I said as I grabbed my gym bag that contained my old clothes and walked out of the gym. 

I got to my car and threw my bag in the trunk. Just when I was about to get in I felt a car slow down next to me and lower the window. I didn't even want to look that way.

"يا حلوة"

The guy in the car said and I smiled, turning to see Khalid inside with a grin on his face.

"شتسوي هني؟"

I said with a chuckle, surprised to see him.

"بس قلت اشوفج دام ما عندي شي، توني طالع من الدوام"

He said, flashing me yet another one of his smiles. 

"ركبي خل نفتر شوي"

He said.

"خالد لا شكلي يفشل لا تطالعني"

I said.

"حياتي انا راح اشوفج بأسوء حالات ركبي بس ركبي"

He said and I chuckled as I got in and he wrapped an arm around my seat, with his fingers just touching my hair as usual.

"جربتي القهوة اللي قلتلج عنها؟"

He said as he maneuvered around the parking lot.

"لا والله كلّش ما عندي وقت"

I said and he chuckled.

"وانتي لو كان عندج دوام جان شسويتي؟"

He said condescendingly.

"شسوي؟ قدمت وسويت اللي عليّ"

I replied defensively.

"اتغشمر يبا والله اتغشمر"

He said with a chuckle and I blushed.

"Sorry," I said.

"حياتي انتي"

He said as he went down the slope leading to the lower floor. I felt his hand roam closer around my hair now.

"احبج فجورة"

He suddenly said and it feels like my insides just melted. Warmth rushed all over me and I felt my smile radiate against him. 

"انا اكثر"

I said, and he smiled back.

He finally said it, and I finally did too.