Wednesday, January 10, 2018

If You Only Knew Me (5 ◇ Fajer)

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Happy reading, 

Cashmere
***

Saturday, September 10th, 2016...

My sister Fouz decided to invite her eight-year-old daughter's friends to our house and of course, I had to help out since I knew my sister would have a lot of responsibility on her hands as they were seven kids altogether.

" بليز فجور تقدرين تجيكين على عشا اليهال؟ والله تعبانة اليوم اول يوم حدي متكسرة"
Fouz asked from the living room next to the playroom as she groaned in pain.

I sighed.
"سبحان الله موقتتها عشان انا ابتلش فيهم"

I teased and she smiled playfully.

"والله I'll make it up"
She said as I rolled my eyes. She never did.

I went to the dining room to check on the girls who were all busy eating chicken nuggets, fries, and pizza. Fouz did the bare minimum, fast food was healthy food when she needed something quick and plentiful.

"ها بنات في شي ناقص ولا كل شي اوكي؟"
I asked as I looked around the table, lots of ketchup was on the nylon tablecloth and the smell was just awful.

"خالتي فجر عادي نشرب كولا؟"
My niece, Layan said, her curly hair was wrapped in a once-neat ponytail.

"McDonald's و Pizza Hut طبعا لا، حمدي ربج قاعدين تاكلون"
I retorted and she groaned.

My eyes fell on a girl with short dark brown hair who didn't look so good. Oh god I hoped it wasn't the food. Her face looked like it was drained of color yet her food looked untouched; she was hunched and quiet, like she was scared too.

I furrowed a brow as I approached her and bent down to her level to talk to her.

"Hello," I began as I smiled at her. She did not look okay at all.

"حبيبتي في شي يعورج؟"
I asked her.

"Auntie Fajer galat she's sick o she vomited two times elyom gabil la tiyi," Layan said, in a bragging tone for some reason.
I hoped she was just joking but the way the girl looked, it didn't look like it.

"حبيبتي شسمج؟"
I asked the sick girl as I tucked her hair away from her face.

"اسمها هيا"
A girl sitting next to Haya said. I saw Haya put a hand to her lips and I immediately new this wasn't a good sign. I grabbed an empty plastic bag and placed it right under her lips as she heaved into the bag.

"ويييع!"
The girls cried in unison, and I yelled at them to eat their dinner silently or help her out; the poor girl didn't have to be embarrassed on top of it. I carried Haya, who was barely a weight to carry to the bathroom as she still heaved in the bag and called Fouz.

"الو"
She calmly replied.

"انتي شكو تعزمين وحدة مريضة؟"
I whispered in the phone as Haya threw up into the toilet.

"شكو، محد مريض"
She said.

"امبلا، وحدة اسمها هيا، فوزو البنت قاعدة ترجع الحين"
I replied as I caressed Haya's back to comfort her. Her vomit was clear, there wasn't anything in her system. I knew I had to do something.

"امبيه حلفي؟"
Fouz said.

"يعني اجذب؟ على الآقل قعدي مع اليهال"
I replied.

"الحين بنزل okay"
She replied before hanging up.

"ليش في دم؟"
Haya said, her voice weak and filled with tears.

I forced myself to look at her throw up again, there was some bits of red in it and I knew that wasn't good. I had to take her to the hospital. I prayed it was just blood from how dry her throat was.

"هيونة تعرفين رقم امج؟ "
I asked her and she nodded, grabbing my phone weakly as she punched in the number. While it was ringing I helped her wash her hands and mouth before leaving the bathroom.

No answer.

"فوز بوديها السلام لان رجعت دم وترى الام مو قاعدة ترد"
I said to my sister as I grabbed my car keys and purse from upstairs, I didn't even care about how horrible my outfit was. I was wearing my favorite Free City pants, which were at least three years old, and a plain black shirt while my short hair was in its natural wavy state.

"جد؟"
Fouz said and I nodded.

 I slipped on my Balenciaga runners, the closest pair of shoes to my bedroom door and went downstairs to Haya, who was still in shock. She looked exhausted.

"هيا تعرفين رقم ابوج؟"
I asked her as I sat next to her on the couch by the door. She nodded and punched in the numbers, which I saved. I hoped these were the right ones. I carried her to the car and buckled her in the front seat so she'd be next to me and placed a plastic bag in her lap. She looked like she was out of it.

I called Fouz who said that she texted her mother but she still didn't receive a reply.
I had to drive slowly so Haya wouldn't get motion sickness on top of it as I looked for her father's name which I saved as "Sdfsdhl" in hurry.

He replied on the fourth ring and I sighed in relief.

"الو؟"
He said, sounding suspicious at the unfamiliar number.

"السلام عليكم، حضرتك ابو هيا؟"
I said, trying to sound calm as I stopped at the traffic light. I looked to my right, she was out of it. I gulped and my heart began to race.

"اي نعم منو معاي؟"
He asked.

"...امم انا اسمي فجر الف"
I began, taking a deep breath.

"بنتك هيا كانت زايرة بنت اختي واستمرضت تكرم حاشها ترجيع فالحين انا بطريجي لي السلام وهي معاي"
I said, hoping I didn't cause him to panic. The light was green now and I kept flickering the lights for the guy in front of me to speed up.

He was silent for a good five seconds that I had to check if I accidentally hit the "end" button.

"كاني يايكم الحين. كلمتو امها؟"
He asked.

"لا والله دقيت عليها وما شالته فطرشتلها مسج"
I replied.

I heard him mutter something under his breath.

"مشكورة فجر، الحين يايكم. شلونها؟"
He asked, his voice was shaking now in both anxiety and a bit of anger.

"الحين نايمة بس قربنا فالله يسهل"
I replied.

"ان شاء الله، ادق عليج اول ما اوصل"
He said before hanging up.

I quickly parked my car next to the emergency entrance as I carried her from the passenger seat; she was really out of it. A nurse placed her in a wheelchair as he pushed her to the emergency area.

A Filipina nurse asked me about her and I just told her what I knew; her name was Haya, she was around eight years old, constant vomiting and her father was on the way.

They wheeled her to a bed where they laid her on it. She was definitely out of it now even if I heard her moan in pain. I wrapped her up in the blankets and moved her hair away from her tiny face. Suddenly I heard:

"I'm looking for my daughter Haya, she came with a lady?"

I pushed away the curtain divider as I looked at a man who looked around thirty dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt. He ran a hand through his short hair nervously as he looked around. His eyes landed on mine and it was like he knew I was exactly who he was looking for.

"فجر؟"
He said as he walked to me and I nodded.

"ها شلونها؟"
He said, leaning towards his sick daughter as he wiped and kissed her forehead.
The nurse walked in and interrupted him.

"Sir the reception wants you for her file," she said and he nodded.

"ممكن تشوفينها؟ ادري تعبناج والله"
He said, looking very out of it, like he was confused and trying so hard to make sense of things.

"اي اكيد"
I could only say as he stormed out to the reception.

"The doctor is coming to check on her," the nurse told me.

"Just wait for her father please," I said. My phone buzzed, it was a text from Fouz.

Fouz: Sh9aar?

Me: manadry wallah. the doctor will see her in a bit. omha radat?

Fouz: la takhayilay. obouha rad?

Me: Eeh shakla 7ail mitdodih maskeen yana ilmostashfa

Fouz: allah y3eena

I put it away as her father walked in with the doctor.

"والله دكتور سامحني بس انا توني ادري انها مريضة، ييت سيدة من المطار"

He said with his arms crossed. His face was red, probably with anger or maybe even embarrassment. Or both.

"جم مرة رجعت عندكم؟"
He asked me.

"مرة وحدة"
I replied.

Haya finally woke up, confused at first but then she started crying when she saw her father as he hugged her frail body.

"حنومها ليلة بنسويلها تحاليل وبنشوف ايه المشكلة؛ ان شا الله بس فايروس بسيط يعني ما تإلأوش"
The doctor said and Haya's father nodded.

"شكرا دكتور"
He said.

"فجر مشكورة والله وسامحينا خليناج تتعتين وتعبناج"
He said apologetically.

"ما سويت شي بعد زايرتنا على ذمتي"
I replied with a soft smile to reassure him, watching Haya go back to sleep as the nurse walked in to transfer her to another bed.

"،ترى انا كلش ما كنت ادري انها زايرة ولا جان ما خليتها"
He said, shaking his head in disdain. I wanted to tell him to stop making excuses and that he should know where the hell his daughter was. I was already pissed at her mother.

We followed the bed to the elevator.

"فجر والله ردي بيتكم ماني متعبج اكثر من جذي"
He said, holding Haya's hand and I shook my head.

"ما عليك مني انا ياية اتطمن"
I said and for the first time I saw a soft smile on his face, one that brought life to his dead eyes and colorless face, like he too was sick.

We followed them to her room which was a private room with its own bathroom as they prepared to draw blood from her.

Haya woke up just as they rubbed alcohol on her hand and her once lifeless body suddenly sprung up and a loud scream escaped her small body in defiance.

"هيونة حبيبتي ترا ثانية ويخلصون"
Her father tried to calm her as he pinned her down. I rubbed her forehead and tried to hush her as they injected her with the needle and the girl let out another scream, with tears streaming down her face in pairs.

"!خلاص خلص"
Her father said, trying to cheer her up as he kissed her cheek.

"بابا ابي اروح البيت"
She said in between sobs

"ميخالف حبيبتي بس يوم واحد بعدين بتردين البيت وتشوفين هدايا، صح؟"
He said in a positive tone, trying to cheer her up.

I noticed she never asked for her mother.

"تقدرين تقعدين معاها شوي بس بسوي مكالمة"
He said.

"اكيد"
I replied as I sat on the chair next to her, watching her drift back into sleep. She was a pretty girl, and I noticed she had the same mouth as her father.

I heard him outside the door, I didn't mean to overhear but it was hard not to. There wasn't any sound except his.

"Jen why did you lie to me? You said she's with madam now she's in the hospital and I cannot reach madam, where is she?" he yelled, I looked at Haya, thank god she was still asleep.

"No, tell her when she's home to call me, do you understand? My daughter is in the hospital because of you and her! No one told me she is sick!" he yelled. I gulped.

Haya twisted in her bed and groaned but I held her hand, and she grabbed mine. I sent Fouz a text.

Me: Obouha tawa rad min ilsfar mayadri inha mareetha ma7ad galla

Fouz: Ana m3a9ba 3ala hal um ilchalba shako twahigni?

Me: wahigtich intay? haha 7lwa. Radat?

Fouz: laa2:)

It was not until five minutes later that Haya's father walked in and ran a hand through his hair.

"سامحيني طولت عليج" he said, apologizing again. I actually felt bad for him, he really looked shocked and confused.

"لا والله كلش" I said with an assuring smile.
" الحمدلله نامت على الاقل. انا مرة صار فيني جذي ومن العوار ما قدرت انام. الحمدلله دام نامت يعني ما يعورها"

I tried to calm him down and he nodded as he looked at the floor. It seemed like he was a bit calmer.

"الحمدلله" he said.

I stroked Haya's hand, while her father caressed her head and said some prayers.

"نسيت اييب هدومنا حق الصبح والليل،"
 He said, he was definitely tired and confused.

"اسف كلفتج وايد بس يصير تشوفينها على ما اروح البيت وارد؟ ما راح اطول"

I nodded.

"اكيد"
I said and he dashed for the door. I waited for the mother to arrive but still no sign of her. I checked my phone; it was almost 10PM. I texted the group.

Me: you guys wa7da yabat bnt-ha 3ndena belbait o al7een ana ma3aha blmstashfaa:) hows your thursday

Lulu: looooool 7araaaam

Mariam: ditch them intay shakoooo

Me: madry wain omha haldaykha. obouha ra7 eyeeb hdoumha. hathy akher mara I'm going to babysit 7ag ikhty:)

Lulu: it's ok next thursday n3awthech 3adil

Sarah: eeeeh your choice!! 

It took her father, who's name I still didn't know, around forty minutes to get back. He was fast, and pissed when he walked into the room. I was sure he expected her mother to be here by now. He set the suitcase on the floor.

"خل اساعدك" I said as I took out Haya's pajamas, which were a smart choice: button-downs for easier changing, and a fresh pair of underwear. I hanged her clothes for tomorrow, which was a simple dress for her to wear and placed the toiletries in the bathroom while her father hung his clothes up. I still didn't know his name.

"نبدلها احسن؟" he asked me, hesitant and I nodded. She'd played and thrown up in these clothes, she definitely needed a change.

We called the nurse to take out the injection so we could change her, and I held my breath as the nurse carefully took out the needle. Haya was still out of it and I exhaled in relief.

I mostly managed the change as her father's hands were shaking and he looked like he was scared he might hurt her. We had to take her shirt off together as it was sort of tight around the neck. He tugged at the collar while I pulled it over he head and through her arms.

It took us a good ten minutes to change her and thankfully Haya slept through it all. We were either very careful or she was very out of it.

"Mission accomplished, huh?" I quipped as we sat down and her father smiled as the nurse placed the injection back into the tube. Haya squirmed but it was nothing to be worried about.

Before we knew it a woman, dressed in a white dress with a beige Gucci belt, a pair of Louboutins, and a Kelly bag in one hand walked in. Her blonde ombre hair was in perfect waves down her back and her face was accentuated with perfectly applied makeup. The room filled with her perfume as soon as she walked in.

"!هيونة"
 She cried out as she almost woke the sick girl up with her loud voice.
"حياتي شصار فيج؟"

I didn't need to look at her father's face to know he was pissed.

"شوق، بس بكلمج برة ثانية"
 He said in a low voice which I heard, it was obvious that he was trying to contain his anger.

"!وي سوري حبيبتي سامحيني ما شفتج! وعليّه تعبناج معانا"
She said to me as she walked outside, she also did a quick wave.

I scoffed when she left the room and closed the door behind her. I couldn't hear anything, fortunately for me, but I knew he took her to the emergency stairs to berate her for lying to him and leaving her sick daughter in the care of strangers.

I updated the group.

Me: abasherkum il om w9alat. full makeup o elsha3ar fair 3rous 

Sarah: leeeave shna6raa

Mariam: 9arly sa3a shagoul?

They walked back in; her father's face was red, he had reached his limit while the mother's eyebrows furrowed together like she was pissed too, pissed at anyone but herself, that was.

I stood up. It would be awkward if I stayed some more, not with them being angry like that.

"اساعدكم بشي؟ في شي ناقصكم؟"
I asked them. I could feel Haya's mother stare at me from head to toe. Was she seriously judging my outfit right in her daughter's hospital room?

"لا والله مشكورة فجر، سامحينا على الازعاج"
Her father said politely.

"اي مشكورة"
Her mother said. What a joke.

"لا كلش ماكو ازعاج. ما تشوف شر هيونة"
I said before leaving. I was pissed at her mother, what kind of mother was she?

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