Snapchat: @cashmerepoison
***
Friday, September 9th, 2016...
It was the final Friday before school began and I didn't know how to spend it apart from staying in bed all day and browsing Tumblr and Youtube.
What Rawan had told me on Wednesday still resonated with me. What if it were true, that no one would find me appealing or worthy of their time at all?
I made a list of things to improve on:
-Outfits
-Makeup
-Workouts
I saved outfits on Instagram from some local fashion accounts to sort of copy. I watched at least ten makeup tutorial videos and signed up for a gym by phone.
I was on Rawan's blog now and I went through her posts.
She definitely looked flawless even without showing her face. Her hair was perfectly curled in all pictures, her skin was always tanned and her outfits were definitely above-average.
I really envied her.
She was the type of girl guys like Fahad went after, not me, and I was sure he noticed her at some point.
I went back to the main blog and scrolled through the posts until my eyes landed on a username with "Fahad" in it. Could it be him?
In the picture, he was perfectly tanned and laying on the beach with his arms plopped up against the sand, showing off his toned back. I couldn't see his face but I knew it was him. I just felt it. I clicked on his username and went on his account, and I was right.
I clicked on his profile picture which was of him in a plain white t-shirt that brought out his tan, his hair was covered in a cap worn on backwards, making him twice attractive. His eyes were large and almond-shaped, while his nose was straight and small. His lips were well sized and his smile...it killed me. Perfectly aligned whites that I knew were even better in real life. Dimples appeared on each cheek, and before I knew it, I was already crushing on him.
I went through his posts. I saw lots of pictures of him at his chalet: swimming, wake boarding, jet skiing, and chilling on the beach and pictures of him abroad, mostly Marbella.
He definitely looked like an interesting person and I really wanted to get to know him, but what if he rejected me?
I definitely needed help in that department, and I knew the best person to ask was my sister Danah but honestly she intimidated me.
It didn't hurt to try...
I thought.
I got up from my bed and left my room to go to her studio downstairs next to her lounge, where I knew she would be. She was always there.
"Danah is in the studio?" I asked my nanny Lisa as I approached the elevator.
"Yes she's there," Lisa said as I got in. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I was chilling in a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt. My naturally wavy hair was up in a top knot bun and my face didn't even have moisturizer on it.
I gulped as the elevator doors opened and I reached her floor. Her floor, she had her own studio where she worked as well as a lounge for her guests.
I heard her laughter coming from the studio and I hesitated. Should I go ahead?
"جد؟ لا مو معقولة"
Her voice was getting clearer with every step I took towards her until I was right at the door.
She was sitting on her desk chair with her face to the wall as she spoke on the phone. She wasn't aware of me yet.
"No way,"
She said again with a chuckle
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door to grab my sister's attention and she turned to look at me. Her brows knit together in confusion and she whispered to the phone.
"دقيقة دقيقة"
She said.
"نعم؟"
She said to me, placing her hand over her phone's speaker.
I regretted coming here already.
"امم بس كنت بكلمج بموضوع وكنت ابي رايج فيه"
I said.
"بس حدي مشغولة sorry"
She said and I bit my lip hesitantly.
"Okay kamil?" she said, returning to her conversation and turning her back to me.
I didn't know my parents were perfectly fine with her having guy friends she could talk to. They didn't allow that for me and gave me this whole lecture before I switched schools. Maybe they just couldn't control her anymore or maybe she just didn't care what they thought.
"I miss you too والله حدي مشغولة هالاسبوعين...جد"
She said and I raised my brows. Who was she talking to?
My phone beeped, informing me of a new notification. It alarmed her too as she snapped back to me.
"لحظة"
She said again to the person on the phone.
"ما تفهمين؟"
She said with a chuckle that made me feel ashamed of myself.
"Sorry," I said as I walked away, but I pressed my back to the wall next to the door opening.
"لا محد، لا تحاتي"
She said with a chuckle.
"انزين ترى حدي ولهانة عليك"
She said again in her raspy voice.
Who was she talking to?
"قلتلك حدي مشغولة والله....اي اكثر منك شفت شلون"
She added with a chuckle.
"5 minutes مر عليّ الليلة افضيلك"
She said.
"اي والله"
She said, chuckling again.
"I'll see you tonight خلاص عيّل"
She said before she hung up.
Music resumed in her studio and I started to walk away, not wanting to get myself into any more trouble. I walked up back to my room and sat back on my bed.
Who was she going to meet tonight?
I sat on my bed and went on Instagram, typing in my sister's name.
She had her business account, which was public and with 55k followers, and a private one, with 1,204 followers and I wasn't part of them. I did request her, but she didn't accept it yet. She didn't even follow me back.
She followed Rawan though, and Rawan followed her.
Rawan, my gorgeous cousin who was also a bully to me, but I guessed Danah didn't care.
I wanted to talk to someone about all of this, what I heard downstairs, what Rawan had told me. I did have friends, but the closest to me was Rawan and I was starting to actually fear her as much as I hated to admit it. She, like my sister, was intimidating. I needed a friend I could confide in, a friend who would laugh with me and not at me.
Not Rawan.
I just hoped I'd find one in my new school.
I was desperate to know who this person coming over was. What was his relationship to my sister?
It was almost 11 PM, my parents were off to sleep, of course, as were the maids, and there wasn't anyone awake in this house but me and Danah.
Grabbing my phone with me I tiptoed quietly against the marble floor to go to the stairs leading to Danah's floor. I was positive he would enter through the door leading from Danah's floor to outside.
I made myself comfortable on the marble floor as I sat down on the first step leading to downstairs. I knew I was dead if she caught me spying on her, but was I really spying? I was concerned.
I almost gave up waiting until I heard her voice.
"كاني الحين بفتحلك الباب"
She said and I gulped, I saw her walking towards the door, looking gorgeous in a simple pair of leggings and black shirt. She was effortlessly gorgeous.
I tried to see the guy as he walked in but I couldn't because my sister jumped on him and hugged him while he lifted her off the ground and twirled her around and she yelped in return. I couldn't help but gape.
She was definitely not the same person around me.
She pulled his arm above her shoulder and dragged him to the lounge, where I could not see them. What I did notice was that they didn't talk anymore and I knew I had to leave before I would be even more shocked.
Who was he?
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Happy reading,
Cashmere
***
Friday, September 9th, 2016...
It was the final Friday before school began and I didn't know how to spend it apart from staying in bed all day and browsing Tumblr and Youtube.
What Rawan had told me on Wednesday still resonated with me. What if it were true, that no one would find me appealing or worthy of their time at all?
I made a list of things to improve on:
-Outfits
-Makeup
-Workouts
I saved outfits on Instagram from some local fashion accounts to sort of copy. I watched at least ten makeup tutorial videos and signed up for a gym by phone.
I was on Rawan's blog now and I went through her posts.
She definitely looked flawless even without showing her face. Her hair was perfectly curled in all pictures, her skin was always tanned and her outfits were definitely above-average.
I really envied her.
She was the type of girl guys like Fahad went after, not me, and I was sure he noticed her at some point.
I went back to the main blog and scrolled through the posts until my eyes landed on a username with "Fahad" in it. Could it be him?
In the picture, he was perfectly tanned and laying on the beach with his arms plopped up against the sand, showing off his toned back. I couldn't see his face but I knew it was him. I just felt it. I clicked on his username and went on his account, and I was right.
I clicked on his profile picture which was of him in a plain white t-shirt that brought out his tan, his hair was covered in a cap worn on backwards, making him twice attractive. His eyes were large and almond-shaped, while his nose was straight and small. His lips were well sized and his smile...it killed me. Perfectly aligned whites that I knew were even better in real life. Dimples appeared on each cheek, and before I knew it, I was already crushing on him.
I went through his posts. I saw lots of pictures of him at his chalet: swimming, wake boarding, jet skiing, and chilling on the beach and pictures of him abroad, mostly Marbella.
He definitely looked like an interesting person and I really wanted to get to know him, but what if he rejected me?
I definitely needed help in that department, and I knew the best person to ask was my sister Danah but honestly she intimidated me.
It didn't hurt to try...
I thought.
I got up from my bed and left my room to go to her studio downstairs next to her lounge, where I knew she would be. She was always there.
"Danah is in the studio?" I asked my nanny Lisa as I approached the elevator.
"Yes she's there," Lisa said as I got in. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I was chilling in a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt. My naturally wavy hair was up in a top knot bun and my face didn't even have moisturizer on it.
I gulped as the elevator doors opened and I reached her floor. Her floor, she had her own studio where she worked as well as a lounge for her guests.
I heard her laughter coming from the studio and I hesitated. Should I go ahead?
"جد؟ لا مو معقولة"
Her voice was getting clearer with every step I took towards her until I was right at the door.
She was sitting on her desk chair with her face to the wall as she spoke on the phone. She wasn't aware of me yet.
"No way,"
She said again with a chuckle
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door to grab my sister's attention and she turned to look at me. Her brows knit together in confusion and she whispered to the phone.
"دقيقة دقيقة"
She said.
"نعم؟"
She said to me, placing her hand over her phone's speaker.
I regretted coming here already.
"امم بس كنت بكلمج بموضوع وكنت ابي رايج فيه"
I said.
"بس حدي مشغولة sorry"
She said and I bit my lip hesitantly.
"Okay kamil?" she said, returning to her conversation and turning her back to me.
I didn't know my parents were perfectly fine with her having guy friends she could talk to. They didn't allow that for me and gave me this whole lecture before I switched schools. Maybe they just couldn't control her anymore or maybe she just didn't care what they thought.
"I miss you too والله حدي مشغولة هالاسبوعين...جد"
She said and I raised my brows. Who was she talking to?
My phone beeped, informing me of a new notification. It alarmed her too as she snapped back to me.
"لحظة"
She said again to the person on the phone.
"ما تفهمين؟"
She said with a chuckle that made me feel ashamed of myself.
"Sorry," I said as I walked away, but I pressed my back to the wall next to the door opening.
"لا محد، لا تحاتي"
She said with a chuckle.
"انزين ترى حدي ولهانة عليك"
She said again in her raspy voice.
Who was she talking to?
"قلتلك حدي مشغولة والله....اي اكثر منك شفت شلون"
She added with a chuckle.
"5 minutes مر عليّ الليلة افضيلك"
She said.
"اي والله"
She said, chuckling again.
"I'll see you tonight خلاص عيّل"
She said before she hung up.
Music resumed in her studio and I started to walk away, not wanting to get myself into any more trouble. I walked up back to my room and sat back on my bed.
Who was she going to meet tonight?
I sat on my bed and went on Instagram, typing in my sister's name.
She had her business account, which was public and with 55k followers, and a private one, with 1,204 followers and I wasn't part of them. I did request her, but she didn't accept it yet. She didn't even follow me back.
She followed Rawan though, and Rawan followed her.
Rawan, my gorgeous cousin who was also a bully to me, but I guessed Danah didn't care.
I wanted to talk to someone about all of this, what I heard downstairs, what Rawan had told me. I did have friends, but the closest to me was Rawan and I was starting to actually fear her as much as I hated to admit it. She, like my sister, was intimidating. I needed a friend I could confide in, a friend who would laugh with me and not at me.
Not Rawan.
I just hoped I'd find one in my new school.
I was desperate to know who this person coming over was. What was his relationship to my sister?
It was almost 11 PM, my parents were off to sleep, of course, as were the maids, and there wasn't anyone awake in this house but me and Danah.
Grabbing my phone with me I tiptoed quietly against the marble floor to go to the stairs leading to Danah's floor. I was positive he would enter through the door leading from Danah's floor to outside.
I made myself comfortable on the marble floor as I sat down on the first step leading to downstairs. I knew I was dead if she caught me spying on her, but was I really spying? I was concerned.
I almost gave up waiting until I heard her voice.
"كاني الحين بفتحلك الباب"
She said and I gulped, I saw her walking towards the door, looking gorgeous in a simple pair of leggings and black shirt. She was effortlessly gorgeous.
I tried to see the guy as he walked in but I couldn't because my sister jumped on him and hugged him while he lifted her off the ground and twirled her around and she yelped in return. I couldn't help but gape.
She was definitely not the same person around me.
She pulled his arm above her shoulder and dragged him to the lounge, where I could not see them. What I did notice was that they didn't talk anymore and I knew I had to leave before I would be even more shocked.
Who was he?
And more importantly, who was my sister?
Taksir 5a6ri :(
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