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Happy reading,
Cashmere
***
It was so weird seeing guys with me in school, I was so shy around them and didn't know how to act at all. Yet I gulped as I found a familiar face in the crowd.
Fahad.
Of all people...Rawan's crush.
I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see me like this. I made it a mission not to cross his path unless I was fitter with a clear-skinned face and some Cartier necklace on my neck. I knew he could get any girl he wanted and I had a long way to go but I was ready for it anyway.
I walked to my homeroom class and sat on any chair I could find. It was funny how no one paid attention to me, the new girl, but I wouldn't blame them.
"اخيراُ يعني؟"
She said as soon as the class was over. I followed her outside to the main court where all the other highschoolers were.
"Oh hi, shakhbarkum?" she said passing a group of girls, but they didn't seem so excited to see her. In fact, no one did.
Whatever, she was the only one who noticed me and offered to keep me company.
"انا كله اقعد هني"
She said as she sat in a spot by a column on the field where I plopped right next to her.
"؟lunch شنو عندج عقب"
She asked me.
"Physics," I said.
"Wow," she replied, impressed.
"A7isich A student," she said and I laughed.
"A student لأن اختي كانت disappointed كلّش لا...اهلي حدهم"
I replied.
امبيه سكتي
I thought to myself...
"كانت؟"
She asked me, curious.
"اي الحين تشتغل"
I replied.
"شكبرها؟"
She asked me.
"٢٥، اعتقد سامعة فيها...دانة الن.....؟"
I said and she shook her head.
Did she really not know my sister?
I bit my lip to keep from smiling, but I didn't know why I was so excited. Maybe I finally found someone who wanted to hang with me for me and not my sister.
"Oh, she's a designer," I said nonchalantly.
I felt two figures pass by us and my heart stopped when Fahad walked by while laughing with his friends.
He was insanely attractive in real life no, he smiled a side smile, bracketed by two deep dimples. His dark eyes were piercing and framed by thick lashes.
His nose was long and straight, above a pair of soft-looking lips and a strong jaw. His skin was tanned as if he'd just gotten back from a weekend at his chalet, and I bet under his shirt was a washboard stomach that he cared enough about.
I bet he wanted his girl to be the same, gorgeous and fit just like him.
Jana started laughing next to me and I turned to her, embarrassed.
"امبيه لا تشوفين شكلج وانتي تخزينه"
She said while laughing and I gulped. I hated how my face was an open book.
"Bas eeh he's hot, o 7ada maya36y wayh," she added, and I looked at her.
"اشكره يحب وحده عيل"
I said.
"لا بس هو جذي مليق، صدقيني جربت فيه حيييل يغث"
She added and I chuckled. She was pretty open about it, like she didn't have anything to hide.
"امبيه جنه وايد حر؟ خلنقعد داخل"
She said as she stood up.
I was so grateful for Jana now for keeping me company. I couldn't imagine where I would spend Lunch or with whom, definitely not Rawan's cousins.
Maybe that friend I wished for was right next to me.
*
My stomach was growling in the car and my mouth was dry from the heat. I could swear I felt homesick and was relieved when the car parked at the driveway. I ran inside and washed my face before going to the dining room downstairs where my parents where having lunch. My sister never had lunch with us since she usually got home at 5:30 from work. I didn't know how she had the time for her own business and the time to socialize, but she managed.
"ها شلون المدرسة؟"
My mother asked me as she placed some rice on her plate.
"زينة"
I lied. I was honestly too tired to speak.
"شفتي أحد تعرفينه؟"
My father asked me as he stirred his soup.
"أمم اي بس بنات عم روان بنت خالتي"
I explained as I added a bit of salad on my plate.
That was all they asked me, no more details or other questions. I wouldn't blame them. They had trouble having kids so after Danah, the model daughter and talented designer; she was everything my parents would want in a girl. Then there was me, nothing special whatsoever but a waste of years of treatment. I knew my parents wished I were a boy, at least maybe I would've been someone successful or worthy in their eyes.
We ate in silence, of course, and I savored every bite of the salad I could unit it was done. I was still hungry, but after remembering school, more importantly Fahad today, my appetite shrunk all of a sudden.
I excused myself and went up to do some homework that was assigned to me, which was light, fortunately, before I got dressed and ready to go to my first day at the gym.
While I was in the car on the way to the gym my phone buzzed against my lap.
Rawan: shloun your first dayyy
Why the sudden interest?
Me: good shway i need to adjust but its gd
Rawan: ahaa shftay a7ad t3arfeeenaaa?
Me: no don't think so
Rawan: ahaa
Did she mean Fahad? I had no idea.
"Stop here please, and come after one hour," I told my driver and maid as they parked by the building that included my gym.
I was having second thoughts and my heart was racing already.
I pressed on the elevator button to the floor my gym was at and introduced myself to the receptionist.
"Hi, my name is Muneera Al-N?"
I told her.
Looking around, I felt so conscious in my black workout leggings, oversized black shirt and neon sports bra strap that poked out of my shirt no matter how hard I tried to fix it.
I walked, slowly, to the large space that included rows of treadmills, ellipticals, bikes, stairs, and every machine I'd never thought I would try out. I didn't want to look at anyone else; I was already disappointed and envious enough. I just had to work on myself. It was so busy and I knew there were at least five different people judging me.
I walked on the treadmill for ten minutes before I jogged for two minutes until I felt like my heart was going to give out. I was panting like crazy. I decided to walk with an incline for twenty. I just walked, and walked until I'd burned half of my lunch probably.
I stepped off the treadmill and sat on the bike, which was so uncomfortable that I had to switch to an elliptical, which I loved. That was definitely going to be my machine, it worked my whole body, burned more calories and felt so effortless.
A couple of giggles behind me surprised me as well as a "shhh", I turned to see a group of five girls who were laughing to themselves.
I froze as my eyes locked with Danah. I watched her expression turn from confused to enraged in a matter of seconds. Even when her face was makeup free and red from working out, yet she still looked pretty. Why did I get the bad genes?
"شتسوين هني؟"
She hissed to me as she turned to make sure her friends weren't seeing her with me. We watched them go to the changing area right ahead of us.
"Umm working out," I said. I gulped, she was even more pissed.
"تدرين اني ايي هني صح؟"
She said.
I honestly wasn't seeing the problem here. Her friends didn't even know I was her sister.
"-اي بس قلت ان مالنا شغل بب"
I began to say but she cut me off.
"مو انتي اللي تقررين"
She said, her voice was getting louder.
"Latyeen Sunday, Tuesday, o Thursday min 6 to 8," she threatened before she walked away, probably worried if anyone, not just her friends, would see her associated with me.
I felt a lump form in my throat. Today was going so well until she showed up.
I replayed all the scenes from Wednesday night with Rawan and today, turned all those negative emotions I felt into pure energy as my legs and arms raced on the elliptical. Two minutes were easy, five minutes weren't a problem either. Adrenaline was rushing through me, I was going to show them all.
My workout was interrupted by a missed call from my maid Lisa, had it been an hour already? That felt like nothing.
I grabbed a bottle of water and walked to the exit, only to see Danah and her friends sitting at the lounge drinking fruit-infused water. I felt some of them look at me for a couple of seconds before I walked away; did they recognize me from Friday night? Forget it, I wasn't memorable or distinctive in any way.
I got into the car and checked my Snapchat story; Rawan was having coffee with two of our friends from school. I guessed she only needed me for when her driver was busy.
Happy reading,
Cashmere
***
Sunday, September 18th, 2016...
Sleep deprived and hungry.
That was what I felt like when I got out of the car to my new school. I also felt sick, that was another thing to add to the list. I was beyond nervous...
What was a mixed school like? Would I make new friends?
Suddenly I regretted getting out of my old school but at least Rawan wasn't in this one, even if it meant that I was all on my own. I walked into the gates of the school, looking at all the groups of friends hugging each other after not seeing each other for three months or so.
Sleep deprived and hungry.
That was what I felt like when I got out of the car to my new school. I also felt sick, that was another thing to add to the list. I was beyond nervous...
What was a mixed school like? Would I make new friends?
Suddenly I regretted getting out of my old school but at least Rawan wasn't in this one, even if it meant that I was all on my own. I walked into the gates of the school, looking at all the groups of friends hugging each other after not seeing each other for three months or so.
I noticed how good they all looked in their school uniform. The girls all had perfectly curled hair, which I didn't know was allowed, and wore expensive jewelry on their necks and ears i.e. Cartier and Van Cleef & Arpel's. I had basic earrings on that I'd gotten from Bershka five months ago. They also looked so perfectly tanned and fit.
I saw some of Rawan's cousins from afar, who we often ran into. Though I was sure they were like Rawan, well dressed and could pull off even a school uniform. They were all naturally so gorgeous with their soft features and gorgeous hair, I wondered if they were actually as harsh as Rawan, even if they came off as sweet whenever I bumped into them.
I hated that I missed my chance at my "makeover" before going into my new school. I didn't want to be noticed by anyone until I was confident enough to show my face so I kept my head focused on the ground below me until I almost bumped into someone.
"Sorry," I said to a guy who was almost double my height. He almost scoffed at me before he went to his friends who were chuckling at his reaction. I bet if I were attractive he wouldn't have the same reaction. I was more than positive.
I hated that I missed my chance at my "makeover" before going into my new school. I didn't want to be noticed by anyone until I was confident enough to show my face so I kept my head focused on the ground below me until I almost bumped into someone.
"Sorry," I said to a guy who was almost double my height. He almost scoffed at me before he went to his friends who were chuckling at his reaction. I bet if I were attractive he wouldn't have the same reaction. I was more than positive.
It was so weird seeing guys with me in school, I was so shy around them and didn't know how to act at all. Yet I gulped as I found a familiar face in the crowd.
Fahad.
Of all people...Rawan's crush.
I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see me like this. I made it a mission not to cross his path unless I was fitter with a clear-skinned face and some Cartier necklace on my neck. I knew he could get any girl he wanted and I had a long way to go but I was ready for it anyway.
I walked to my homeroom class and sat on any chair I could find. It was funny how no one paid attention to me, the new girl, but I wouldn't blame them.
I thought no one would, until I sat next to a thin girl with long wavy light brown hair and a freckle by her lower lip. I couldn't help but notice that her fitted shirt was unbuttoned until the deep line that separated her rather large boobs, maybe she wasn't aware of it.
"You're new 9a7?" she said, looking at me.
"Eeh," I replied with a smile. Did she really notice me?...
"انا اقوول، كنتي بأي مدرسة قبل هني؟"
She asked me, inching closer to me. I could smell her perfume now, Daisy by Marc Jacobs, my favorite.
"A**" I replied while she bit her lip.
"تعرفين احد هني؟"
She asked me.
"cousins my cousin اممم بس"
I told her and she tilted her head inquisitively.
"منو؟"
She asked, interested.
The teacher walked into the class now.
"...كادي وريما الص"
I said.
"Ahaa...intay close wiyahum?"
She asked me and I shook my head.
The teacher started to take attendance now.
"your guide عيل انا بصير"
She said with a smile and I smiled back.
I was quick to judge, she actually seemed pretty sweet.
"....جنى الي"
The teacher said.
"نعم"
She replied loudly.
Now I knew her name.
We bared the Arabic class, with her talking to me every now and then to ask me if I knew people she knew in my old school, fortunately the teacher didn't shut us up.
"You're new 9a7?" she said, looking at me.
"Eeh," I replied with a smile. Did she really notice me?...
"انا اقوول، كنتي بأي مدرسة قبل هني؟"
She asked me, inching closer to me. I could smell her perfume now, Daisy by Marc Jacobs, my favorite.
"A**" I replied while she bit her lip.
"تعرفين احد هني؟"
She asked me.
"cousins my cousin اممم بس"
I told her and she tilted her head inquisitively.
"منو؟"
She asked, interested.
The teacher walked into the class now.
"...كادي وريما الص"
I said.
"Ahaa...intay close wiyahum?"
She asked me and I shook my head.
The teacher started to take attendance now.
"your guide عيل انا بصير"
She said with a smile and I smiled back.
I was quick to judge, she actually seemed pretty sweet.
"....جنى الي"
The teacher said.
"نعم"
She replied loudly.
Now I knew her name.
We bared the Arabic class, with her talking to me every now and then to ask me if I knew people she knew in my old school, fortunately the teacher didn't shut us up.
"اخيراُ يعني؟"
She said as soon as the class was over. I followed her outside to the main court where all the other highschoolers were.
"Oh hi, shakhbarkum?" she said passing a group of girls, but they didn't seem so excited to see her. In fact, no one did.
Whatever, she was the only one who noticed me and offered to keep me company.
"انا كله اقعد هني"
She said as she sat in a spot by a column on the field where I plopped right next to her.
"؟lunch شنو عندج عقب"
She asked me.
"Physics," I said.
"Wow," she replied, impressed.
"A7isich A student," she said and I laughed.
"A student لأن اختي كانت disappointed كلّش لا...اهلي حدهم"
I replied.
امبيه سكتي
I thought to myself...
"كانت؟"
She asked me, curious.
"اي الحين تشتغل"
I replied.
"شكبرها؟"
She asked me.
"٢٥، اعتقد سامعة فيها...دانة الن.....؟"
I said and she shook her head.
Did she really not know my sister?
I bit my lip to keep from smiling, but I didn't know why I was so excited. Maybe I finally found someone who wanted to hang with me for me and not my sister.
"Oh, she's a designer," I said nonchalantly.
I felt two figures pass by us and my heart stopped when Fahad walked by while laughing with his friends.
He was insanely attractive in real life no, he smiled a side smile, bracketed by two deep dimples. His dark eyes were piercing and framed by thick lashes.
His nose was long and straight, above a pair of soft-looking lips and a strong jaw. His skin was tanned as if he'd just gotten back from a weekend at his chalet, and I bet under his shirt was a washboard stomach that he cared enough about.
I bet he wanted his girl to be the same, gorgeous and fit just like him.
Jana started laughing next to me and I turned to her, embarrassed.
"امبيه لا تشوفين شكلج وانتي تخزينه"
She said while laughing and I gulped. I hated how my face was an open book.
"Bas eeh he's hot, o 7ada maya36y wayh," she added, and I looked at her.
"اشكره يحب وحده عيل"
I said.
"لا بس هو جذي مليق، صدقيني جربت فيه حيييل يغث"
She added and I chuckled. She was pretty open about it, like she didn't have anything to hide.
"امبيه جنه وايد حر؟ خلنقعد داخل"
She said as she stood up.
I was so grateful for Jana now for keeping me company. I couldn't imagine where I would spend Lunch or with whom, definitely not Rawan's cousins.
Maybe that friend I wished for was right next to me.
*
My stomach was growling in the car and my mouth was dry from the heat. I could swear I felt homesick and was relieved when the car parked at the driveway. I ran inside and washed my face before going to the dining room downstairs where my parents where having lunch. My sister never had lunch with us since she usually got home at 5:30 from work. I didn't know how she had the time for her own business and the time to socialize, but she managed.
"ها شلون المدرسة؟"
My mother asked me as she placed some rice on her plate.
"زينة"
I lied. I was honestly too tired to speak.
"شفتي أحد تعرفينه؟"
My father asked me as he stirred his soup.
"أمم اي بس بنات عم روان بنت خالتي"
I explained as I added a bit of salad on my plate.
That was all they asked me, no more details or other questions. I wouldn't blame them. They had trouble having kids so after Danah, the model daughter and talented designer; she was everything my parents would want in a girl. Then there was me, nothing special whatsoever but a waste of years of treatment. I knew my parents wished I were a boy, at least maybe I would've been someone successful or worthy in their eyes.
We ate in silence, of course, and I savored every bite of the salad I could unit it was done. I was still hungry, but after remembering school, more importantly Fahad today, my appetite shrunk all of a sudden.
I excused myself and went up to do some homework that was assigned to me, which was light, fortunately, before I got dressed and ready to go to my first day at the gym.
While I was in the car on the way to the gym my phone buzzed against my lap.
Rawan: shloun your first dayyy
Why the sudden interest?
Me: good shway i need to adjust but its gd
Rawan: ahaa shftay a7ad t3arfeeenaaa?
Me: no don't think so
Rawan: ahaa
Did she mean Fahad? I had no idea.
"Stop here please, and come after one hour," I told my driver and maid as they parked by the building that included my gym.
I was having second thoughts and my heart was racing already.
I pressed on the elevator button to the floor my gym was at and introduced myself to the receptionist.
"Hi, my name is Muneera Al-N?"
I told her.
Looking around, I felt so conscious in my black workout leggings, oversized black shirt and neon sports bra strap that poked out of my shirt no matter how hard I tried to fix it.
"Muneera Al-N, okay. Do you want to join classes or personal trainer?" she asked me as she handed me a form.
"Just classes," I said as I started to fill in some information.
"Do you want free consultation?" she asked me and I shook my head. I was just here for the classes and machines maly khelg tifilsif ba3ad.
I watched as girls looking gorgeous in their workout clothes walk past me and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. This was going to be me one day.
I paid for the membership, almost backing out last minute. 100 KD gone so easily.
I walked on the treadmill for ten minutes before I jogged for two minutes until I felt like my heart was going to give out. I was panting like crazy. I decided to walk with an incline for twenty. I just walked, and walked until I'd burned half of my lunch probably.
I stepped off the treadmill and sat on the bike, which was so uncomfortable that I had to switch to an elliptical, which I loved. That was definitely going to be my machine, it worked my whole body, burned more calories and felt so effortless.
A couple of giggles behind me surprised me as well as a "shhh", I turned to see a group of five girls who were laughing to themselves.
I froze as my eyes locked with Danah. I watched her expression turn from confused to enraged in a matter of seconds. Even when her face was makeup free and red from working out, yet she still looked pretty. Why did I get the bad genes?
"شتسوين هني؟"
She hissed to me as she turned to make sure her friends weren't seeing her with me. We watched them go to the changing area right ahead of us.
"Umm working out," I said. I gulped, she was even more pissed.
"تدرين اني ايي هني صح؟"
She said.
I honestly wasn't seeing the problem here. Her friends didn't even know I was her sister.
"-اي بس قلت ان مالنا شغل بب"
I began to say but she cut me off.
"مو انتي اللي تقررين"
She said, her voice was getting louder.
"Latyeen Sunday, Tuesday, o Thursday min 6 to 8," she threatened before she walked away, probably worried if anyone, not just her friends, would see her associated with me.
I felt a lump form in my throat. Today was going so well until she showed up.
I replayed all the scenes from Wednesday night with Rawan and today, turned all those negative emotions I felt into pure energy as my legs and arms raced on the elliptical. Two minutes were easy, five minutes weren't a problem either. Adrenaline was rushing through me, I was going to show them all.
My workout was interrupted by a missed call from my maid Lisa, had it been an hour already? That felt like nothing.
I grabbed a bottle of water and walked to the exit, only to see Danah and her friends sitting at the lounge drinking fruit-infused water. I felt some of them look at me for a couple of seconds before I walked away; did they recognize me from Friday night? Forget it, I wasn't memorable or distinctive in any way.
I got into the car and checked my Snapchat story; Rawan was having coffee with two of our friends from school. I guessed she only needed me for when her driver was busy.
But I didn't need her, I had Jana.
Danah 7a8eeeeeera
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