It was only a day like this when I wanted to be home and in my own bed. I didn't know whether to be ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed. One thing was sure that if my company somehow helped Zaid relieve his bottled up pain then I had nothing to feel guilty about.
Truthfully, if I could redo that day the only thing I'd do is remember to get my key and wake up earlier. I still didn't regret it.
My suitcase was ready; all I had left was tomorrow's clothes prepared in the closet along with my pajamas and other essential stuff.
I hoped Lulu would stay in Sarah's room and even sleep there overnight. Then I remembered that she hadn't packed her suitcase yet and her stuff was a lot.
I looked at my wrist, and the Cartier bracelet still hung on; I didn't know how to take it off. I didn't want to take it off. Zaid had nothing to do with what had happened; I was the one who chose to sleep in his suite because I couldn't sleep in my own. Plus I slept somewhere else. I was still trying to un-guilt my conscious even though I knew that my mother would slay me if she found out.
I think whatever Zaid and I had went out the door with me when I said goodbye. We didn't get each other's numbers or anything, I guess it dawned on us that we couldn't really be together and we kind of crossed our moral boundaries. I admit it.
"Yeah, hi, can I have a cheeseburger please?" I called room service on the hotel phone. I was starting to get hungry.
"Also I would like have a banana split and a hot chocolate. Thank you," I said. I needed comfort food right now; my appetite was suddenly so wild. I didn't care if it was 100 euros altogether.
I played on my phone to distract myself; Instagram, Twitter, Candy Crush, just to pass time. I wanted to go home so badly; I had no one here and the only person I could talk to was on an airplane home right now. I almost deleted Twitter and Instagram after the posts Lulu and Sarah had posted; of them together by some old village with some other friends of ours. Of them goofing off but trying to look cute at the same time. I couldn't stand it.
I got a knock on my door and I emptied the narrow corridor to the door so the table would fit. I was so hungry that I nearly tripped on my shoes trying to get to the door.
"Coming!" I said and opened the door.
Lulu.
My appetite was probably gone by now, she just walked past me. Apparently she'd forgotten her card as well so she needed me to open the door for her.
I cleared my throat and sat on my bed as Lulu began to pack her suitcase. I didn't want to talk to her and I bet on my life that the feeling was mutual. I also bet she had a lot of questions for me, though I had a lot of questions for her too, like whether or not she'd told anyone else about what had happened. If she was ever my friend she'd be quiet.
There was a knock on the door. It better be room service.
I smiled in relief as I signed the check while the guy walked into the room to set up the table. He greeted Lulu bas ma3a6ita wayh, even he could sense the tension.
"Bon appétit," he told me as I tipped him.
"Tigdireen tba6leen ildarayish? Ilree7a qawiya," Lulu said.
What was her deal?
I opened the windows just to shut her up and ate my ice cream. So much for comfort food in a stressful environment.
I secretly watched her pack and huff in frustration when she forgot to pack things hidden in the drawers. Most of the stuff she brought with her she didn't even use.
"Shftay my straightener?" she asked me after looking for it for twenty minutes.
"Mathkir innich 6ala3tee," I simply told her.
She huffed again.
"Inzain khala9tay min 3ashach madri '3adach? Il6awla bni9 il6ireej," she complained.
I tried hard not to roll my eyes as I dialed for room service to pick up the table while Lulu wore her shoes and put on perfume to leave the room.
"Wain btrou7een?" I asked her. Accidentally asked her.
"3ind Sarah, lat7ateen mara7 arou7 3ind a7ad thani o anam b their room," she said, still pissed off, and that pissed me off.
"Inzain ma la da3i itkalmeeni chithy," I told her, trying not to show my annoyance.
"Way tara ana ba6la3 astanis mali khlg atnarfaz kafi mt7amlitich bl dar," she said as she squeezed past the table to leave the room.
If she forgot her card I would not open the door for her.
/
How different two plane rides were.
Sarah and Lulu sat next to each other, of course. I ended up sitting next to Taiba, who was with me in English, but we didn't really know each other.
I was so paranoid about my "secret" that I isolated myself from everyone and looked at the girls every five seconds to see if they were talking about me, but the coast was clear. Sarah and Lulu stuck to themselves mostly, which was a blessing since I didn't want them getting too close to other girls and accidentally blurting something out.
I wondered what Zaid's family emergency was and if he was alright. I could only wait until school started again next week.
"Peanuts?" The air hostess offered Taiba and me but we both shook our heads.
Why wasn't Taiba trying to make any conversation with me?
Did Lulu and Sarah say anything to her? Oh God, I felt sick to my stomach. I just had to talk to them, at least one of them. Lulu didn't talk to me after she'd left for Sarah's room, and went to sleep without wishing me goodnight. I don't think any one of us got a good night's sleep anyway.
I tried not to dwell too hard on the idea just in case I'd back down so I stood up and walked past the air hostess and her basket of peanuts and found Lulu and Sarah's seats. Sarah was sleeping with her head on the window while Lulu pretended to read her magazine and not see me.
"Lulu abi akalmich digeega," I whispered to her. She didn't even look up at me.
"Excuse me," the hostess told me so I stepped in front of Lulu's seat, where she obviously saw me.
"Lulu please, mara7 ashra7lich sh9ar blthab6 le2ana adri you're not interested, bas please sim3eeni al7een," I said. Sarah was still sleeping, or maybe pretending to be asleep.
"Shinu?" she said as she huffed and placed her magazine on her lap, obviously not in the mood to talk to me.
"Lulu gltaw 7ag a7ad 3an illi 9ar?" I whispered to her, careful of other students eavesdropping.
"La2," she replied bluntly.
"7ta Asmaa?" I asked her, since Asmaa was Sarah's roommate.
"Shoufay Niyah 9ij inna sum3itich 3ndi ana oo Sarah bilga3, bas me7na mshawheen sum3itich 3ashan khalti l2ana adri be3awrha galbha lay sma3at min a7ad thany. Mu 7aram ili sawaitee feeha?" she said. I was grateful they didn't spread the word but at the same time I didn't appreciate the fact that she was trying to guilt-trip me.
I was not in the mood for this but I had to stay cool as to not piss her off and let her change her mind.
"Mashkoura," I told her. "Bas mat3arfeen kel ili 9ar," I told her.
"Mabi a3arif," she said as she flipped open her magazine.
I tried hard not to roll my eyes and walked back to my seat, relieved that they hadn't told anyone.
Obviously our friendship was down the drain; I didn't know who should even apologize; me for "disappointing" them and making them worried, or them for accusing me of being someone I was not.
The seatbelt sign finally switched on and I was so glad we were landing. Taiba woke up from her sleep and pulled up the window shutter while we looked outside. It was nearly 9 PM in Kuwait and I couldn't wait to see my mom again. I didn't want to even think how lonely she was those ten days I was gone; we had never been apart before and I really missed her.
The landing took forever and took forever again trying to find a gate for us to get off on. Typical airport.
I got a ton of messages from Zain, the phone company, welcoming me back, if you asked me that was the worst part of coming back from traveling, but now I was glad to be home. I jumped up from my seat to get my carry-on and sped past everyone else to get off the plane.
Oh how different it was from last time.
I waited for the rest of the students for check out at the gates and waited in the baggage claim area for my suitcase, which took forever to show up. The students were hugging each other and some were crying that the trip was over. I hated how it ended; but maybe if they had heard me out it would've been greatly different. Sarah and Lulu were taking pictures with other students and I couldn't help feel slightly jealous; I would've been with them.
I pushed my cart away from the nostalgic students and out of the baggage area to the main arrivals area of the hotel. At least I had my mom; I looked around and I smiled for the first time in two days as I spotted her, my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, and my 10 year old cousin 7amani, waiting for me at Starbucks.
7amani ran to me and hugged me before taking the cart from me, while I walked quickly to my mom and rest of the family.
I hugged my mom so tight and couldn't believe I was crying until she laughed at me and began crying too.
"Yuma wilaht 3alaich," I told her as I wept, still hugging her. I broke from her and kissed my grandma and then my aunt and uncle who were still laughing at my red nose from crying so hard.
I could tell the other students had arrived as there was a lout of noise all around.
"Imshay khal asalim 3ala Sarah oo Lulu," my mom said as I walked with her. My heart beat so fast.
"Hala khalti!" Sarah said to my mom, wala chinna she had any issues with her daughter.
"Sarouna shlonich? Il7mdillah 3ala ilsalama 7abeebty," my mom said as she kissed her.
"Khalti Eman shlonich? Walahna 3alaich!" Lulu suddenly appeared with her mom. I kissed Lulu and Sarah's moms, trying not to show that there was tension between the three of us.
"3asa ma 2athatkum Omniyah?" my mother teased as she hugged me from the side.
I could tell Lulu and Sarah forced a smile and a lie.
"La wallah klna istansa il7mdillah," Lulu said. I couldn't even look at her.
"Ee khosh safra il7mdillah," Sarah agreed. At least she didn't lie.
"Allah ykhaleekum 7ag ba3a'6 inshallah," Lulu's mom said. Oh god it was getting worse.
"Ameen," the moms said.
"Yallah 3an ithinkum, 3ash mn shafkum," my mom said with a large smile before we left them.
"Ya7iluhum," she said. She bought it.
And I could only smile.
***
Truthfully, if I could redo that day the only thing I'd do is remember to get my key and wake up earlier. I still didn't regret it.
I hoped Lulu would stay in Sarah's room and even sleep there overnight. Then I remembered that she hadn't packed her suitcase yet and her stuff was a lot.
I looked at my wrist, and the Cartier bracelet still hung on; I didn't know how to take it off. I didn't want to take it off. Zaid had nothing to do with what had happened; I was the one who chose to sleep in his suite because I couldn't sleep in my own. Plus I slept somewhere else. I was still trying to un-guilt my conscious even though I knew that my mother would slay me if she found out.
I think whatever Zaid and I had went out the door with me when I said goodbye. We didn't get each other's numbers or anything, I guess it dawned on us that we couldn't really be together and we kind of crossed our moral boundaries. I admit it.
"Yeah, hi, can I have a cheeseburger please?" I called room service on the hotel phone. I was starting to get hungry.
"Also I would like have a banana split and a hot chocolate. Thank you," I said. I needed comfort food right now; my appetite was suddenly so wild. I didn't care if it was 100 euros altogether.
I played on my phone to distract myself; Instagram, Twitter, Candy Crush, just to pass time. I wanted to go home so badly; I had no one here and the only person I could talk to was on an airplane home right now. I almost deleted Twitter and Instagram after the posts Lulu and Sarah had posted; of them together by some old village with some other friends of ours. Of them goofing off but trying to look cute at the same time. I couldn't stand it.
I got a knock on my door and I emptied the narrow corridor to the door so the table would fit. I was so hungry that I nearly tripped on my shoes trying to get to the door.
"Coming!" I said and opened the door.
Lulu.
My appetite was probably gone by now, she just walked past me. Apparently she'd forgotten her card as well so she needed me to open the door for her.
I cleared my throat and sat on my bed as Lulu began to pack her suitcase. I didn't want to talk to her and I bet on my life that the feeling was mutual. I also bet she had a lot of questions for me, though I had a lot of questions for her too, like whether or not she'd told anyone else about what had happened. If she was ever my friend she'd be quiet.
There was a knock on the door. It better be room service.
I smiled in relief as I signed the check while the guy walked into the room to set up the table. He greeted Lulu bas ma3a6ita wayh, even he could sense the tension.
"Bon appétit," he told me as I tipped him.
"Tigdireen tba6leen ildarayish? Ilree7a qawiya," Lulu said.
What was her deal?
I opened the windows just to shut her up and ate my ice cream. So much for comfort food in a stressful environment.
I secretly watched her pack and huff in frustration when she forgot to pack things hidden in the drawers. Most of the stuff she brought with her she didn't even use.
"Shftay my straightener?" she asked me after looking for it for twenty minutes.
"Mathkir innich 6ala3tee," I simply told her.
She huffed again.
"Inzain khala9tay min 3ashach madri '3adach? Il6awla bni9 il6ireej," she complained.
I tried hard not to roll my eyes as I dialed for room service to pick up the table while Lulu wore her shoes and put on perfume to leave the room.
"Wain btrou7een?" I asked her. Accidentally asked her.
"3ind Sarah, lat7ateen mara7 arou7 3ind a7ad thani o anam b their room," she said, still pissed off, and that pissed me off.
"Inzain ma la da3i itkalmeeni chithy," I told her, trying not to show my annoyance.
"Way tara ana ba6la3 astanis mali khlg atnarfaz kafi mt7amlitich bl dar," she said as she squeezed past the table to leave the room.
If she forgot her card I would not open the door for her.
/
How different two plane rides were.
Sarah and Lulu sat next to each other, of course. I ended up sitting next to Taiba, who was with me in English, but we didn't really know each other.
I was so paranoid about my "secret" that I isolated myself from everyone and looked at the girls every five seconds to see if they were talking about me, but the coast was clear. Sarah and Lulu stuck to themselves mostly, which was a blessing since I didn't want them getting too close to other girls and accidentally blurting something out.
I wondered what Zaid's family emergency was and if he was alright. I could only wait until school started again next week.
"Peanuts?" The air hostess offered Taiba and me but we both shook our heads.
Why wasn't Taiba trying to make any conversation with me?
Did Lulu and Sarah say anything to her? Oh God, I felt sick to my stomach. I just had to talk to them, at least one of them. Lulu didn't talk to me after she'd left for Sarah's room, and went to sleep without wishing me goodnight. I don't think any one of us got a good night's sleep anyway.
I tried not to dwell too hard on the idea just in case I'd back down so I stood up and walked past the air hostess and her basket of peanuts and found Lulu and Sarah's seats. Sarah was sleeping with her head on the window while Lulu pretended to read her magazine and not see me.
"Lulu abi akalmich digeega," I whispered to her. She didn't even look up at me.
"Excuse me," the hostess told me so I stepped in front of Lulu's seat, where she obviously saw me.
"Lulu please, mara7 ashra7lich sh9ar blthab6 le2ana adri you're not interested, bas please sim3eeni al7een," I said. Sarah was still sleeping, or maybe pretending to be asleep.
"Shinu?" she said as she huffed and placed her magazine on her lap, obviously not in the mood to talk to me.
"Lulu gltaw 7ag a7ad 3an illi 9ar?" I whispered to her, careful of other students eavesdropping.
"La2," she replied bluntly.
"7ta Asmaa?" I asked her, since Asmaa was Sarah's roommate.
"Shoufay Niyah 9ij inna sum3itich 3ndi ana oo Sarah bilga3, bas me7na mshawheen sum3itich 3ashan khalti l2ana adri be3awrha galbha lay sma3at min a7ad thany. Mu 7aram ili sawaitee feeha?" she said. I was grateful they didn't spread the word but at the same time I didn't appreciate the fact that she was trying to guilt-trip me.
I was not in the mood for this but I had to stay cool as to not piss her off and let her change her mind.
"Mashkoura," I told her. "Bas mat3arfeen kel ili 9ar," I told her.
"Mabi a3arif," she said as she flipped open her magazine.
I tried hard not to roll my eyes and walked back to my seat, relieved that they hadn't told anyone.
Obviously our friendship was down the drain; I didn't know who should even apologize; me for "disappointing" them and making them worried, or them for accusing me of being someone I was not.
The seatbelt sign finally switched on and I was so glad we were landing. Taiba woke up from her sleep and pulled up the window shutter while we looked outside. It was nearly 9 PM in Kuwait and I couldn't wait to see my mom again. I didn't want to even think how lonely she was those ten days I was gone; we had never been apart before and I really missed her.
The landing took forever and took forever again trying to find a gate for us to get off on. Typical airport.
I got a ton of messages from Zain, the phone company, welcoming me back, if you asked me that was the worst part of coming back from traveling, but now I was glad to be home. I jumped up from my seat to get my carry-on and sped past everyone else to get off the plane.
Oh how different it was from last time.
I waited for the rest of the students for check out at the gates and waited in the baggage claim area for my suitcase, which took forever to show up. The students were hugging each other and some were crying that the trip was over. I hated how it ended; but maybe if they had heard me out it would've been greatly different. Sarah and Lulu were taking pictures with other students and I couldn't help feel slightly jealous; I would've been with them.
I pushed my cart away from the nostalgic students and out of the baggage area to the main arrivals area of the hotel. At least I had my mom; I looked around and I smiled for the first time in two days as I spotted her, my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, and my 10 year old cousin 7amani, waiting for me at Starbucks.
7amani ran to me and hugged me before taking the cart from me, while I walked quickly to my mom and rest of the family.
I hugged my mom so tight and couldn't believe I was crying until she laughed at me and began crying too.
"Yuma wilaht 3alaich," I told her as I wept, still hugging her. I broke from her and kissed my grandma and then my aunt and uncle who were still laughing at my red nose from crying so hard.
I could tell the other students had arrived as there was a lout of noise all around.
"Imshay khal asalim 3ala Sarah oo Lulu," my mom said as I walked with her. My heart beat so fast.
"Hala khalti!" Sarah said to my mom, wala chinna she had any issues with her daughter.
"Sarouna shlonich? Il7mdillah 3ala ilsalama 7abeebty," my mom said as she kissed her.
"Khalti Eman shlonich? Walahna 3alaich!" Lulu suddenly appeared with her mom. I kissed Lulu and Sarah's moms, trying not to show that there was tension between the three of us.
"3asa ma 2athatkum Omniyah?" my mother teased as she hugged me from the side.
I could tell Lulu and Sarah forced a smile and a lie.
"La wallah klna istansa il7mdillah," Lulu said. I couldn't even look at her.
"Ee khosh safra il7mdillah," Sarah agreed. At least she didn't lie.
"Allah ykhaleekum 7ag ba3a'6 inshallah," Lulu's mom said. Oh god it was getting worse.
"Ameen," the moms said.
"Yallah 3an ithinkum, 3ash mn shafkum," my mom said with a large smile before we left them.
"Ya7iluhum," she said. She bought it.
And I could only smile.
***
twitter: @cashmerepoison
Ufffff yigharounnnnnn Sara w lulu ji3lhum fe dahiya INSHALAH , 7arammm niyah Mara ar7amtha w Mara 7loo alchapter❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteLooool tha7akteeni! :p thank you so much I love your comments!
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