More Than You Know (Fajer ◇ 2)

December 2018

Two years ago I had a completely different expectation of what was to happen. 

I did not expect my mother to suspect if I had a connection with Abdullah months after we would take Haya and Layan out together. 

I did not expect her to give me a talk on how if there was anything that we should end it; she would never let her then twenty-five year old daughter be married to a divorced man with a child too old for me to be her mother. Not while she was alive.

I did not expect Abdullah to tell me that Shoug was threatening him if he ever divorced her. 

She promised him that if he married me she would turn Haya into someone she knew he wouldn't her to grow up to be, especially since he'd be losing custody so Haya would be under her mother's care most of the time.

She also promised that she would make everyone know how much of a home wrecker I was, even if I really wasn't. 

It killed him and I knew it; he couldn't risk it and neither could I. 

To know that I might never be with the man of my dreams was more than just soul crushing. Every part of my body hurt. I couldn't function for days after we decided to separate from each other but the damage had already been done. 

It'd been almost five months but it felt like yesterday. I kept myself occupied with my new job, I couldn't continue going to my old job because I would see him there a lot. I went to the gym. I tried to start my own project.

 Yet everywhere I looked I saw something that reminded me of him...