Heart on Lock *10*

The track was loud...and far from empty. I’d thought it would be just us two in the circuit that day, but apparently not. 

I was glad I had my large sunglasses with me, which I wore even at night. I couldn’t risk being seen. Why would I even be here?

I shared the bleachers with other friends and family members of the racers coming in for practice. Maybe some were more than friends, too…

My hair was done in long waves, and I wore a pair of dark jeans, and a blue and white designer shirt with a tan Hermes belt and flats. I threw on a white knit jacket, still cautious of the cold winds at night. I kept my eyes on Yaqoub’s car, fidgeting with the zipper on my jacket; his driving was making me anxious for some reason. I didn’t like the sport, but I liked how passionate he was about it.

Yaqoub’s car promptly stopped, and I watched him exit the car, taking off his helmet and handing it to his guide. 

His eyes wandered around the bleachers until he landed on me, and he smiled. Warmth showered my body, and I smiled back. I couldn’t help it. 

This was the future I wanted, with him in it, and I had to make it happen. I came down from the bleachers, and waited for him to change and freshen up. 

I couldn’t have dinner with him, though, as much as I wanted it. Jude invited me and a few of our cousins over to her house for a gathering and dinner night. It would be suspicious if I ditched; I hadn’t seen her in a while. 

My new friend, Sara, sent me a private snap: a mirror selfie of her full outfit, skinny jeans and a plain black top, something I’d never wear , and I replied with a heart. What was weird was that she had a public account, she wouldn’t post herself on her story, it would just be general quotes or random coffee pictures, unless there was another story I didn’t know about. 

She sent me a message: what do you have this week? Let’s get dinner 

Old me would’ve been judging new me for accepting a dinner invitation from a random blonde-haired girl I’d met on the beach twice. New me knew that it was worth the risk; I had Yaqoub, after all. Maybe Sara would actually like me as a friend for me. 

“Sorry, did I keep you waiting for long?” he said once he left the changing room. His head sparkled with water, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself at how good he looked.

“Worth the wait,” I said in English and he laughed. 

“I know a sushi place close by. Are you hungry?” he asked me. 

“I wish; I’m unfortunately invited to another dinner date,” I said. 

“Should I be jealous?” he teased with a laugh. A guilt-heavy punch landed on my stomach. He could never know about me and Talal.

“Not at all,” I teased back. “You did good out there, by the way.” 

“Thanks,” he said, with what seemed like an inauthentic smile. 

“What? You don’t believe me?” I said as we walked to our cars. Behind my glasses I kept a look out for anyone I knew. So far all was good. 

“No, I do,” he said with a soft chuckle. “It’s just that I think it’s getting to me. I might have to quit soon.”

I gasped. “What? Don’t say that,” I replied. He chuckled. “You’re only twenty-something,” I said, as if I didn’t know his age.

“Twenty-eight,” he reminded me. “It’s a good time to call it quits. My head spins so easily, I feel lethargic, and I think it’s going to cause me some damage down the line.”

Why was I more sad about it than him?

“I understand,” I said. Did I? “What are you going to do instead? You have to find another hobby” I asked him, as if I had one already. He shrugged, stopping at his car next to mine.

“Maybe focus on opening my own garage with my brother. Think of how to have you in my future,” he said, but he wasn’t smiling anymore. His eyes cut deep into mine that the sunglasses seemed useless, and I removed them.

“Are you sure?” I said. This time my head spun, and I was lethargic, my heart was racing on the tracks lap after lap after lap; I was exhilarated. 

“I couldn’t be more sure,” he said. “I’m ready to talk to your family when things get better with Zaid.” 

I gulp, and tears well my eyes. I could throw my arms around him right now. We were slightly shielded from the public, and I could, but I didn’t. 

I needed to end things with Talal. The sooner the better. I had to talk to my mother whether I liked it or not. 

“I also have something,” he said, opening the door of his car. My heart beat against my chest so loudly that I could hear it in my ears. 

He presented me with a piece of paper, and it was only when I read the contents that my jaw dropped.  

“You’re joking!” I said, and he laughed.

“It’s two weeks from now, but you’re coming. We just need to book the flights and hotel. It’s for a weekend. What do you think?” he said. “You can bring a friend if you’re more comfortable.”

A ticket to a race in Abu Dhabi. We could arrive Thursday and leave Saturday. I could claim it was a chalet trip. I had to check my calendar, and Yaqoub watched patiently while I made the calculations. My mother would be traveling the Wednesday before it. I smiled.

“Let’s go,” I said. 

“You can?” he said, almost like he couldn’t believe his luck. 

“Of course,” I said. “My mom will be out of town. I think we can make it work,” I replied.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. 

“Thank you, Yaqoub,” I replied. There was a loud silence that could only be filled by a different kind of tension between us.

  

Before I could stop myself, I filled it. I threw my arms around him in a hug, embracing him tightly, filling my mind with the scent of him; his musky cologne, the way he felt under my arms. To my surprise he embraced me, too. 

I broke free, ashamed of myself. 

“I’m sorry, should I have not done that?”

He shook his head, smiling. 

“I’m glad you did,” he said. 

My phone buzzed with a call from Jude. I sighed. 

“I’m late to the dinner, but I’ll see you soon,” I told him.

“Coffee tomorrow before work?”

I nodded. “Done.” 

I open the door of my car. “Thank you again,” I said. I’m sure it must’ve cost him a good deal of money, and I appreciated it. He was doing more for me than Talal ever did. 

I knew what my choice was. 

***

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” I said, walking into Jude’s house, almost as grand and extravagant as mine. 

“We got hungry so we started,” the girls said, already busy with their food. They were around five of my cousins from my dad’s side.

“Did my salad arrive?” I asked them, and Jude nodded. 

“Yeah thanks, it’s a huge portion,” she said. “You look rejuvenated,” she said, with a wink as if it’s her cousin who caused me to feel elated. 

I shrugged. 

“Yeah, there’s a glow to you,” Noura, one of my cousins, says. 

“Maybe it’s just my facial,” I replied, grabbing a plate from the center table. 

“Looks like she’s engaged,” Hadeel, another cousin says and I almost drop the plate. 

“Maybe,” I tease back, trying to hold it together. Why would she even say that?

“Ooooh,” the girls say in unison, teasing me together. I was sure they’d be thrilled to know it was Talal, Jude’s cousin. Or maybe even jealous. They could have him for all I cared. 

I looked at the ticket inside my bag and smiled to myself at my little secret. I couldn’t wait for the trip. 

My phone buzzed with a text from Razzaq 

Where are you?

I gulped. Did someone see me with Yaqoub and ratted me out?

I’m at Jude’s for dinner. Why?

R: Ok. Mother is pissed btw 

Why? I told her I’d be going 

R: Not at you, but someone asked her if you were engaged to Talal. She’s pissed ppl know already. You might have to announce soon. 

The bright lights overhead blurred, the room spun, melting the colors together into one pink haze. 

This couldn’t be happening.