I made sure to stay in bed at 5pm when Razzaq texted me that they were on the way back. I also had a cup of tea next to me.
I could hear some noise outside my window, car tires crushing against the gravel, and jumped up to turn the lights off.
Soon enough, as I felt it, my mother walked into my room.
“Zaina?” she asked, not caring if I was actually asleep.
“Yeah?” I asked, faking a croaky voice.
“How’s your stomach?” she asked. Part of me sensed that she knew I was lying. I mean, I did feel sick for a good thirty minutes before I got better on my walk.
“It’s getting better,” I said.
“Okay. We’re having a barbecue dinner at your grandma’s at eight,” she said like it was an order.
“Okay,” I said, just begging to be left alone.
Razzaq entered next, but this time he walked in, instead of pausing at the door.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s just my period,” I said, hoping it would shut him down. I was scared I’d croak.
“Crappy timing,” he said.
“As usual,” I replied, grabbing my phone.
“Talal asked about you,” he said. I tried not to act surprised.
“That’s nice,” I replied.
“When is the announcement again?” he asked me.
“In three months. After we see Zaid, remember?” I told him. He nodded.
“When do you want to go?” he asked me.
“Next month?” I replied.
“Okay, I’ll have the secretary arrange the flights and hotels,” he said.
He still lingered, like he wanted to ask me questions that cut deep, revealed what I was trying so hard to keep from the light.
“I’ll get up and change now. Are you going to the dinner?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I’m still full from lunch.”
“I’m starving now,” I said, standing up. “I was thinking of getting something from Starbucks. I’d say McDonald’s but I’m gonna feel worse.”
“Sure,” he said.
Little did he know I planned on running into Yaqoub there.
*
“Like hell I’ll wait in the car. Do you see how many cars are parked outside? It’s like 2009 all over again,“ Razzaq said once he parked his car after two minutes of waiting for someone to leave the parking lot.
I sighed, and left the car, feeling like my plan failed already.
My brother is with me
I texted Yaqoub.
No worries.
Yaqoub said.
I looked around the parking lot swiftly for his car, but it was so crowded that I couldn’t see it easily.
“What are you getting?” Razzaq asked me.
“A cheese croissant,” I said.
“After your stomach ache?” he asked me, judging.
“Yeah,” I said, with a shrug. I couldn’t look around that long.
“Stand in line,” my brother ordered me. I raised a brow and watched him walk to a table of guys sitting by the window from the corner of my eye.
I’m waiting for my drink
Yaqoub texted me.
I smiled as I looked up and immediately spotted him. We shared a quick smile, one that you could almost doubt happened. I felt like myself again. My true self. I wanted to get into his car and just drive off anywhere.
“I’ll have a cheese croissant,” I said to the barista.
“And a tall Americano, iced,” Razzaq joined me, paying with his card.
“Thanks,” I said.
“That’s Talal over there. Did you guys plan this?” Razzaq teased me, but my breath shallowed. I spotted him so close to Yaqoub, also waiting in line for his drink. This felt ominous. My two worlds weren’t supposed to clash so soon.
“Not at all,” I said with a chuckle, trying to make it seem like we did, just to let him buy our relationship.
“Slick,” he retorted, as we walked to the pickup area, where Yaqoub was still waiting and Talal was right behind him. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even smile at Yaqoub, or share a one liner, but I did lock eyes with him briefly, and he gave me a soft smile, which I couldn’t return. I’d text him that my cousin was behind him. It was true, at least.
“What a surprise,” Razzaq told Talal, who seemed shocked to see us.
“Yeah,” Talal said with a chuckle as Razzaq rested a hand on his shoulder. Some girls in a corner were checking, whom I thought was Talal at first, but it was Razzaq they were into. I felt more protective of my brother than my fiance. My boy…friend…however weird it was to say, I think I would’ve pranced on them had they laid their eyes on him. They’re just lucky he was lost in the crowd.
Yaqoub grabbed his drink, locked eyes with me, giving me a quick wink out of Razzaq’s glance, but my heart pounded not knowing if Talal saw it. I could pretend I didn’t know Yaqoub and he was just flirting with a random girl if it did come to that.
My heart sunk once Yaqoub left the Starbucks, leaving only Talal and us alone in the crowd, yet it still felt lonely.
“Sir Razzaq,” the barista called out.
“I’ll get it,” I said, using this opportunity to grab our order. I could really eat my croissant right now.
Razzaq seemed to have read my mind, because we were soon saying goodbye to Talal.
“Will he be at the dinner?” I asked my brother once we left the cafe.
“Don’t think so. Why? You didn’t want him to come?” he asked with a chuckle.
I was taken aback, almost caught in my footsteps.
“What? No, I meant I was just curious.”
“You should’ve asked him yourself. Invited him even,” he said, wiggling his brows.
“Don’t make things awkward,” I rolled my eyes.
“I booked tickets for us to Germany in a month and a half. Is it good enough? We’ll pass by France later,” he asked me.
I nodded. I hated Germany, but had to save face to see my dad and brother there.
“Baba’s gonna be with us for two days before he goes back to Kuwait for a week and a half. Then Mama will come back with him.”
“We’re gonna be Zaid’s full time caretakers?” I asked, feeling my heart sink at the idea.
“No, he has his nurses,” he retorted.
“Good,” I replied.
“You didn’t tell Talal what really happened, did you?”
“Of course not, are you crazy?” I asked, opening the paper bag. Suddenly it didn’t seem so appetizing anymore.
“Just wondering,” he replied. “You’re gonna get crumbs all over my car.”
“Told you, I’m gonna get it deep cleaned.”
Suddenly I didn’t want to travel anymore. I wanted to stay here with Yaqoub. I needed more time with him before I tied the not with Talal. I took a deep breath.
I couldn’t be sick again
*
The day was already long. I was bored just sitting at the chalet. I’d roam around if I had my own car, but I had to rely Razzaq for a ride, and I hated feeling dependent.
Our maid handed me my coffee in my special mug while I sat outside by the balcony. While I was looking forward to traveling, I’d still miss my rendezvous with Yaqoub. If only I could have him pick me up, but knowing my mother (and brother) it would be impossible.
I heard some noise under the balcony by the beach, and I peeked to see no other than the girl from yesterday. Sara? I think that was her name.
She laid a towel down along with her beach chair and took out her book, ready for her beach day to begin. I hoped my mom wouldn’t see her—she’d kick her out.
I guess she realized someone was watching her, or maybe it was my large shadow on the sand next to her that gave me away. She looked up, and smiled politely.
“Sorry, did I scare you?” I said.
“No, did I?” she replied, and I shook my head. “I came early today, I needed the warmth.”
“Yeah, it’s cold later in the day,” I replied, sipping my coffee. What could we possibly have in common to talk about besides the weather? It felt so awkward talking to her from the platform of my family’s chalet.
“I love your Hermes mug; it’s so cute,” she told me. I raised my brow before composing myself. She didn’t look like someone who stepped into an Hermes store.
“Thanks,” I replied.
“I got a similar cup for my birthday a few years ago, but someone used it and broke it,” she said, with a chuckle, though it did seem like she was genuinely heartbroken over it.
“Oh no! Did you get a replacement at least?” I said.
“No, I think that was the point; it was intentional,” she said.
“Really? How so?” I said. I admit, it started to feel awkward that she had to look up to me to speak, shielding her hand from the sun.
“I’m sure you’ve had your fare share of jealous friends,” she said. I thought about Jude, who was distant now because of her recent marriage. I did have friends here and there but maybe none of them liked me for me. Or maybe hated the fact that I had everything I could ask for. At least they didn’t break any mugs.
“Wait, let me get you a coffee and come down,” I told her, and she laughed.
I called one of the maids and asked her to prepare a flask with a latte, and also add a box of digestive biscuits. Oh, and a beach chair. The steps, freshly repaired, led me down to Sara, the chalet wall providing some shade from the sun, even if it was cold.
“Sorry, I didn’t want you to crane your neck even more,” I said sheepishly and she chuckled.
“No worries. How old are you by the way?” she asked me.
“Twenty four,” I said. “You?”
“Close. Twenty five,” she replied. “Wait, are you going to keep standing?”
I shook my head. “The maid’s coming with a beach chair.”
Was she alluding to me inviting her upstairs? I couldn’t look too much into it.
“Oh, great!” she replied, seeming happy I joined her. Like clockwork the chalet housekeeper brought me a beach chair, which I set up next to her.
“Coffee coming now,” he told me, and I nodded.
“Thank you. And a small table, please.”
I could tell she was a bit surprised at the quick service. I couldn’t tell her it was the result of my mother’s strict regime.
I sipped my coffee while I watched the waves lap against the shore, the sound reminiscent of my summers in France. I couldn’t wait to be in Paris soon, even if it’s for my wedding dress. My chest tightens.
“Is it your family’s chalet or your in-laws?” she asked me. Of course she’d assume I was married; people like me always were chosen so early. Though I was considered to be a bit late, thanks to my mother’s picky choices and harsh filtration system.
“My family’s. I’m not married,” I said. “Are you?”
She shook her head. “I’m actually divorced.”
At twenty-five? I furrowed my brow. “Wow, you’re so young. Did you have any kids?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“No, thank God. I was married a year, and I just couldn’t handle it any more,” she said.
“Really?” I said, gulping. Maybe that was my future, too.
“Yeah. His cousin was clearly interested in him, and he called me paranoid,” she said. “Until he confessed he actually loved her, and not as a sister,” she explained. She didn’t sound sad; just maybe annoyed.
“Oof,” I said. “That’s tough, I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “I’m over it. My family is disappointed that I wasn’t patient with him. They thought I was rash. He’s married to her now. Just five months after our divorce.”
“That’s terrible,” I said. I watched the maid and place the thermos and mugs on the side table in front of us.
“He isn’t worth being sad over,” she said. It’s clear she’s done some deep work on herself. Maybe sitting here out on the beach was her escape.
“Coffee?” I said, pouring her a mug.
“Thanks,” she replied.
I decided not to tell her about my engagement; because what if it did end up happening and I was too chicken to end it?
Also, was I ever going to see her again? She didn’t even know my last name, nor did I know hers.
Just when I was about to refer to my engagement as my friend’s, just to see her perspective, my mother called.
“Sorry,” I said before I answered. “Hello?
“Zaina, where are you? Your brothers and I are having breakfast. The maid said you’re down by the sea?” my mother said, confused.
“Yeah, I’m coming now,” I told her before she hung up on me. I turned to Sara. “Sorry, I have to go, but I’m not sure for how long.”
“No worries, I’ll just read my book,” she said and I smiled.
“Great, see you,” I said, wearing my slip-on shoes which needed some airing from the sand.
My mother, Razzaq, and the twins were sitting at the dining table of her chalet, the breakfast spread hotel-worthy, not one for just the four of us.
“Hi,” I said, plopping down.
“What were you doing?” my mother asked. I gulped. Did she not approve of my new friend?
“Oh, just listening to the sea,” I said. She gave me a weird look and continued on with her toast.
“Zaina I’m going home in an hour,” Razzaq said. I nodded.
“I’m ready,” I said, adding a piece of toast to my plate. “I need to go to the salon for work tomorrow, anyway.”
And to see Yaqoub again. I missed him.
“Your eyebrows need some tidying,” my mother pointed out. I literally did them last week.
“Okay,” I said, avoiding an argument because it’s futile. We ate the rest of my breakfast in silence, while my twin brothers asked my mother if they could visit our cousin to play some video games.
“Sorry, I’m going to pack my bag,” I said while standing up, knowing I could easily just call one of the maids and have her do it instead. I wanted to call Yaqoub.
The wind slapped my face as I walked to my chalet. It was getting chilly; I didn’t know how Sara was sitting by the beach, if she still was, anyway. I walked into my chalet to see the coffee flask and tray on my kitchen counter.
“Ma'am your friend gave me this,” the housemaid Jenny told me, pulling out a torn piece of paper from her pocket.
I furrowed my brow as I opened it. The texture was of a paper you’d find only in books. It was from Sara, she must’ve sacrificed her own book for the note.
She wrote down “snap” and her username.
Along with “Thanks for the coffee!” in Arabic.
“She went?” I asked Jenny.
“Yes Ma'am,” she told me.
At least Sara didn’t take the mug, so there was that.
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