Don't Forget Me (42)

Thursday,

I was probably the only person who looked forward to weddings. I loved dressing up, trying out new things on my hair and makeup, wearing all the fancy jewelry. I really loved spoiling myself and weddings were a great excuse for just that.

I wore a dark red one shoulder dress that hugged my figure and fell to the floor, trailing behind me. It was so gorgeous that I couldn't believe I actually found such a dress. I wore dark makeup and had my hair down, but it was perfectly curled to add volume to the dress. I clipped on my ruby and silver earrings, which hurt so much but it were worth it because they matched my dress so much. I clipped on the matching necklace and bracelet and ring.

I sprayed perfume on my neck and wrists before examining myself in the mirror for the whole look. I hadn't realized how much I'd grown into my looks, and the dress flaunted some killer curves I never knew I had. I was very pleased with how I looked. I finally took my shawl to cover myself, and got  my clutch from the closet nearby.

I waited downstairs for my mother, careful not to trip on my dress as it sprawled behind me.

"Omniyah yallah bnt2akhar," my mom said while she went down the stairs, careful not to trip on her dress.

"Yuma kani na6ritich," I told her.

"Wee mashiftich," she said as she raised her head and paused.

"Tbarak ilra7man," she automatically said, and I smiled.

She began to mutter ilmu3awithat now, which was a first, as we got into the car.

"Mara thanya latikshikheen chithi," she told me.

I was offended. "Laish mu 7ilu? Wala over?" I asked. Although I didn't know if it was ever "over" for a wedding.

"La ilnas 3ainhum 7ara," she said.

"L2anaich intay umi, tara wallah mu lay hal daraja," I said as I chuckled.

"Rou7 Messila," my mom told the driver.

The ride was so long with lots of traffic since it was the start of the weekend.

I texted Faisal that I was on the way to the wedding, which he replied with his usual "Ok".

The house where the wedding was came to view and was adorned with lights for celebration. We got out of the car, and followed the crowd to the entrance of the house and into the wedding, where I took off my shawl and congratulated the families of the bride and groom, whom I didn't know at all.

The ballroom was gorgeous, as it was filled with orchids and and the couch itself even featured orchids as a main theme. I followed my mom up the rows and sat in the middle of the ballroom. I could feel people stare at me and I was so uncomfortable, but a bit confident. I knew I looked good and that made me happy.

I looked around for anyone familiar but I couldn't see anyone I recognized. I guessed it was just me and my mom, maybe khalti Salwa would join us.

I watched the different dresses and styles, it was like a real life fashion show. It was so nice to see. So yeah, I really did love weddings.

"Water maam?" the server asked me. I thanked her as I took my glass and drank it, only to realize I might've ruined my lipstick. Great.

"Yuma barou7 il7amam," I told my mom as I excused myself.

I walked out the main hall and took a left to the bathroom to reapply my lipstick; matte dark red, which gave me a velvet look I really liked.

"I love your makeup mashallah," a girl commented. She was wearing a lime green dress and her hair was up in a high bun.

I smiled. "Mashkoura, I love your dress," I replied, not knowing what else to say.

I almost frowned when I saw her friend next to her, Haya.

"Wait I know you, kintay ma3ay b **S 9a7?" Haya asked me.

I was stunned, the video kept playing in my head.

"Um ee, Haya 9a7?" I said, trying to act casual but I was sure I was failing. Wasn't she worried I would recognize her from the video or anything? I guessed mu hamha at all.

"Ee, oo intay Amani?"

"Actually Omniyah, bas close," I said with a chuckle, and she laughed. I honestly couldn't believe what she'd done and she acted so casual for someone with her reputation on the line.

"Yallah ashoufich inshallah," I said. Not in a private video, I thought to myself.

I walked back to my seat wala khalti Salwa was next to my mom.

"Hala khalti Salwa shlonich?" I asked her.

"Hala Omniyah 7abeebti shlonich? Mashallah smila 3alaich alf ilisim," she began to say as she looked at me admiringly. It felt kind of weird.

I sat next to my mom and looked at the rows in front of me.

I saw Haya and her friend walk to their seats next to other girls, probably their friends or something. I wondered if they knew what she had done. It was so weird.

To make matters worse I saw Zaina and two other girls, probably her sisters in law, walk into the hall. Zaina walked confidently, almost a bit too confidently. She wore a bright red cocktail dress that was short in front but long at the back and a huge bow on her shoulder. The jewelry on her neck looked like they cost as much as the wedding, in fact even her sisters in law looked like they could buy a house or two with their jewelry. I didn't know why I was intimidated by them.

"Hathi bint Al-M oo 7mwat'ha," I heard khalti Salwa whisper to my mom.

"Haw china Omniyah t3arifhum, ra7at 7aflat'hum marra," my mom whispered back. Oh she had no idea.

"Omniyah chinha akbar minich?" my mom asked. I gulped.

"Um la ihya chithi fun fa 3adi," I lied. Zaina was anything but fun.

I was so nervous right now, did she have any doubts? I watched Zaina and her sisters sit exactly opposite from us, a couple of rows below Haya and her friends.
I could only imagine Zaina's reaction if she saw the video with Haya, then she'd know who the real slut was.

She began to look around, as if looking for someone else familiar, or maybe out of pure ligafa, and I looked the other way when I felt her eyes roam in our directions. I wondered if she would recognize me. I looked at her, kind of accidentally but at the same time on purpose. We locked eyes and I looked away immediately. She really made me nervous, even if there was nothing to be nervous about.

The ballroom was almost full now, and my mom whispered for me to dance for khalti Salwa's sake, ugh, I hated dancing. I went to the meed and danced alone, awkwardly, but it was fortunately so crowded that I was barely even dancing, and didn't look like I was alone. I passed by Haya who was so into the song and danced really well to it. Not surprising.

I got back to my seat since the groom was about to come in, and wore my shawl. I was beginning to get hungry, and the appetizers were not enough.

It took a long time, probably an hour, for the groom to come in and leave with the bride for the buffet.

"Tabeen ita3ashain?" my mom asked me.

"Ee wallah yo3ana," I told her.

I took off my shawl and followed my mom to the buffet area, where I had a bit of everything on my plate. I loved wedding food. I looked around with my full plate for my mom only she was in a full table with her friends so I began to eat at the corner, which was so sad.

My mom texted me to wait for the driver outside once I finished my dinner. I was pretty much done in three minutes since I was so hungry. I took my shawl and purse and went to the bathroom to reapply my lipstick, which was almost faded.

I wrapped myself in the shawl and stepped outside in the cool weather to look for my driver, which was like finding a needle in a haystack.

"Yallah 3ad," I said at the sight in front of me.

It was the last thing I needed.

***

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (41)

As we talked more on the phone, texts, and in real life, I became more comfortable around Faisal, and he was also comfortable around me. Plus with Zaid off my back I could finally put my full attention of Faisal even though Zaid's words still haunted me and made me want to throw up.

"Ha khala9tay imti7anat?" he asked me.

I shook my head as I took a sip of my orange juice. "La wallah, makhal9 mn hal imti7anat."

"Allah y3eenich," he said with a nod, and I smiled.

I drummed my fingers on the couch. We were running out of topics to talk about while our moms wouldn't stop talking.

"Omniyah yeebeeli chay law sma7tay," Faisal said. I nodded and walked to the kitchen to tell our maid to bring more tea.

I sat back down and told him it was getting ready.

"Fa shlon ukhwanik?" I asked him.

"Wallah zaineen. Fajoura msafra ma3a iljam3a 7ag mu2tamar, oo 3adil maskeen 8a9 b hal imti7anat," he said.

The maid walked in with the tray of istikanat ilchay and offered Faisal some tea. Faisal shook his head and chuckled.

"Omniyah ana gltlich intay etyeebeena, wala chan gltlich tgouleenlhum iyeeboun ilchay," he said. I felt my face burn up so I stood up to get the tray of tea and handed it to him. He shook his head.

"La bas khala9," he said still chuckling to himself. I was so embarrassed.

"Sorry wallah," I said as I sat back down.

"Qa9dich asfa," he said, chuckling again. God this was embarrassing.

"Asfa," I said again with an embarrassed smile.

"Ma3alaih ita3alimain," he said while fixing his qitra.

I rubbed my hands nervously against my white pants as I looked around trying to find something to talk about.

"Yallah yuma?" he said to khalti Salwa next to us as he stood up. I didn't know if I was glad or sad he was going. No idea.

"Yallah 3ayal, ga3datkum ma tinmal," khalti Salwa said as she got up.

"Inshoufich bl 3irs inshallah," my mom said.

"Inshallah, Omniyah bityi ba3ad?" khalti Salwa asked.

"Ee ma3zouma," my mom said. I looked back and forth between them, and I remembered the wedding on Thursday. It was a common friend of my mom and khalti Salwa's daughter. Uff mali khlg hatha ba3ad.

"Omniyah latinsain ili gltlich 3ana, ha?" he said to me under his breath.

"Okay inshallah," I replied. He wanted me to text him where I was going and stuff, I thought it was a bit too soon for that but maybe it would make it easier on us if we got married.

"Yallah ma3a ilsalama," he said as he left my house.

As soon as they left my mom berated me for the tea. I wanted to tell her inna wallah adri mala da3i she reminds me again. It was that embarrassing.

"Layal bityeech wala shlon?" my mom asked me.

"La ana barou7laha, bnsawi ilhomework oo itha midana inrou7 3asha," I told her.

"Okay bas lata2akhirain," she said.

"Inshallah."

I got my car keys ready and texted Faisal that I was going to Layal's house.

Faisal: اي ليال؟

Me: ليال الث، رفيجتي بالجامعه

He asked me where her house was and I told him.

I parked in front of her house and texted her I was out and Faisal that I'd reached.

I hugged Layal as usual and chatted a bit before we quickly solved the homework, which we could've done over the phone but we just wanted to go out to eat.

"Tara Niyoh wallah sorry 3ala ilvideo kilish ma kan qa9di aza3lich," she said again.

"Layal it's fine. A9lan thank you bayanteeli mnu uhwa."

"Gouleeli il9ij, kan bainkum shay?" she said. "I won't judge."

"Umm," I began to say. How did I explain this?

"Layal please latgouleen 7ag a7ad okay?" I told her.

Her eyes lit up. The girl just loved gossip.

I told her everything; how we met on the plane, Paris,  his gifts, the suite and my stupid key incident, his graduation speech, his mother's passing, him traveling, our schedule of outings, the chalet, entertainment city, everything up until the day we got caught and "broke up".

"Wait khalti matadri?" she asked about my mother. I shook my head.

She opened her mouth and smacked me on the shoulder. "Inzain kamlay," she said.

"Fa bas shifta bl dinner party, kan 7ail 7ail mtghayer, ya3ni kilish ma kan ylageeni wayh, oo kan yg3ad ma3a my friends ili ta7al6amt 3nda 3ndihum. Oo hatha kan khubri fee, chan traweeni the video oo sa2alta 3anna. Things got messy bas ilmuhim, 6ala3 we were just friends 6oul hal muda 3inda," I said.

"Wait wait shinu?" she asked, stunned. "Kil hatha oo bas friends?"

I shrugged.

"Bas madri ya3ni kila yshouf nafsa he's a burden fa ymkin uhwa mu mqadir nafsa," I told her.

"7ta lo ygdar yis2ilich, shnu bas friends?!" she complained.

"Niyah gouleeli il9ij, 7abaitee?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"7mar," she said.

I sighed.

"Okay fa wain tabeen nit3asha?" I asked her, changing the subject.

"Tabeen Almakan?" she asked me.

"Mm yallah okay!" I replied.

I texted my mom and Faisal I was going to Almakan with Layal and as we got into the car Faisal called me.

"Sorry Layal bas thanya," I told her as I got off to a more private place.

"Alu?" I said.

"Hala Omniyah," he said.

"Hala feek, shlonik?" I replied.

"Il7mdillah. Ha 6ala3tay wala ba3ad?" he asked me.

"La2 al7een ba6la3," I said.

He chuckled, but it was nowhere near humorous.

"Inzain ana tara lama gltlich inich tgouleenli wain btrou7een mu ya3ni it6arbijeen ay mukan oo bas itgouleenli, ham feeha isti2than. Oo ba3dain already r7tay 3nd rifeejtich mala da3i ti6li3een mara thanya. 7alat'ha ilbnt blbait," he said, almost coolly but I was burning up with embarrassment. Bada3t ilyom.

"So-Asfa wallah ma kan qa9di. Al7een arid ilbait," I said. It killed me that I wasn't going to Almakan, as I was craving their desserts.

"Yallah 3afya," he said.

"Ana rayi7 ilduwaniya baghaitay shay?" he asked me.

"La mashkour," I replied.

"Yallah 3ayal fimallah," he replied before hanging up.

I sighed and went to Layal and explained to her that I had to go home because my mother wanted me there.

"Way Niyoh hathi suwalfich," she said in a teasing/serious kind of way.

"Sorry wallah mu b2eedi," I replied.

"Yallah gouleeli mita next time," she replied. I nodded and got into my car to go home.

It was a really long day.

I parked jidam the house and texted Faisal that I had arrived home. I admit it was exhausting remembering to text him but maybe I just needed to get used to it.

I walked in wala my mom's in the living room watching TV.

"Ma6ala3taw?" she asked me upon my entrance while I kissed her cheeks.

"La Faisal ma ri'6a," I told her as I took a seat.

"Ee ba3ad kubartay," she told me as I sat watching tv blankly with her.

"Yuma sa2altay khalat Essa sh9ar 3alaih?" I asked her.

"Ee wado ilma9a7 fa galaw yabeela cham shahar, allah kareem," she said. I nodded.

"Ana barou7 anam," I told her as I stood up.

"China mbacher?" she asked me, looking at her phone's clock.

"Waray class imbacher," I told her.

Little did she know I spent most of the time awake from my thoughts, Zaid's texts, and everything in between. 

Don't Forget Me (40)

Zaid: Why are you sending me this?

Was he serious? I regretted sending him the video, since malna shghl b ba3a'6 anymore and I was kind of in a "relationship" with Faisal. I guessed my emotions took the best of me, and I was still utterly disgusted and shocked at his behavior, it was like he was another person. The Zaid I'd known, my Zaid would never do this.

Me: Forget it. 

Zaid: You send me the video then expect me to forget it?

Me: It was spur of the moment, just forget I sent anything. 

I texted. I was so nervous. It was such a stupid text.

Zaid: What was your point? 

My heart was beating so fast, I felt so stupid.

Me: I just didn't expect this from you.

Zaid: Is that all?

What an asshole.

Me: I know you're better than this. Is everything okay?

I didn't know what the hell I was saying, but maybe it was my emotions taking over.

Zaid: Thank you for your concern, but I don't think you know me.

Me: After everything, I think I do.

I was in shock at what I was reading.

Zaid: Yet you still talk to me?

What did he mean?

Me: ?

Zaid: You're really daft aren't you? 

What the hell?

Me: I'm not sure what you're asking. 

Zaid: Haven't you figured it out since you "know" me so well?

Me: Figured what out?

Zaid: Why I became close to you at first.

Me: I don't think I have. 

Zaid: Can I call?

Me: I don't think so. 

I didn't want to let him hear me sound like an idiot on the phone or break down while speaking.

Zaid: Whatever suits you. 

Me: So are you going to explain or what?

Zaid: I'm trying to put it in the least harsh way possible. I'm sorry in advance.  

My mouth was dry and my heart was pounding. I knew this wasn't good. He took a long time typing, and with every passing second it felt like I was waiting a decade until he finally sent the text.

Zaid: 

To be honest, I needed a distraction, and you were great at it. 

I never really liked you in that sense, although you were fun to be with and a good friend. I know I gave you the wrong impression of what our relationship was, and I don't blame you, but I was so tired of everyone walking out of my life that I needed someone to stay, which explains the gifts and all. That was until we got "caught".

I admit, it's sick and it's twisted. You don't deserve this and I'm deeply sorry. 
Sadly this isn't a part of my "letting you hate me so you can move on and live happy" plan.

Again, I'm sorry for being harsh, but it's the truth which I owe you. I've moved on, and I really think you should too. 

Tears rolled down my eyes. I couldn't be reading this from Zaid, his phone might've been hacked or something. This wasn't Zaid, not my Zaid at all.

Me: Zaid I loved you.

Zaid: I didn't force you to feel that way. 

He was so cold it made me boil inside.

Me: You led me on. 

Zaid: I'm sorry.

Me: Oh are you?

Zaid: Look, I'm very thankful for you being there for me in hard times. You're a really great friend, and I wish we could be that, but I don't think you'd want anything to do with me after this. 

Me: I asked you what was between us at your house, don't you remember what you answered?

Zaid: I do, I said that it's obvious what's between us. Thing is, that could be interpreted in different ways. 

Unbelievable.

Me: Wow, do you realize how manipulative you sound now?

Zaid: I'm sorry. 

Me: So I was basically a "friend" to you the whole time?

Zaid: You could say that. 

"Asshole," I said.

Me: Is Haya a friend too?

Zaid: Haya?

Me: The girl from the video?

Zaid: It was just that night. 

Me: Aha. Well bye then.

I texted before I left and deleted the conversation. I dropped to the floor and began to cry as I remembered everything; Paris, the suite, the gifts, his graduation speech, his mother's death, our outings, his chalet, car rides, him baking at the guest apartment, him buying me dresses, him taking me to his private wing. This couldn't be all for nothing, could it?

I thought he treated me like a queen when all he was doing was treating me like a charity case.

***

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (39)

Tuesday,

"Fa kntay b ay madrisa?" Faisal asked me as he took a sip of water.

"**S, oo inta b ay madrisa?" I asked him.

"Ana 7ikouma," he said, while mentioning his high school name which I had no idea that existed.

"Oh," I just said as I sipped on my orange juice.

"La7'6a 3ayal et3arfeen Abdullah Al-K? Madri itha b duf3itich aw laa," he asked me. I knew Abdullah I just wasn't sure if I should answer with a yes or a no, maybe it was a test.

"Ee kan ma3ay eb katha class," I replied.

"Oo Jana Al-R?" he asked me. Why did he want to know?

"Jana? Ee imbala bas ma kanat ma3ay b wayid classes," I told him and he nodded.

"Abdullah rifeej ukhouy ili a9'3ar mini, oo Jana bnt khalti," he said. I replied with an "Oh", madri shagoul ba3ad.

He changed the subject to travel and where my favorite places were. I wanted to reply Paris but I shut up and said London instead even though I hated it, and he actually agreed.

After much talk, some silence, and talking again it was time for him to leave.

"Yallah 3ayal Omniyah asta2thin," he said with a smile. I smiled back and stood up to say goodbye to him and khalti Salwa, who was in seventh heaven right now.

"La7'6a bas itha mumkin raqmich?" he asked me before he left. I gulped and gave him my phone number, the last time I'd given a guy my number was four years ago...how time had flown.

I took his phone number and saved it as Faisal, since he was literally the only Faisal I knew.

We said our goodbyes and my mom kept asking me about him again, but I told her I had to know him more to finally approve.

"Khaltich Salwa galatli inna uhwa wayid mirta7lich oo dasha galba," she told me.

 I didn't know whether to be happy or nervous. I didn't want to disappoint anyone, even if I was still okay with him, I had nothing against him and I enjoyed talking to him.

I went upstairs and changed from my dress into my comfy pants and shirt to continue studying. I had a course and a half left and I couldn't afford to screw it up even if my classes were not that hard, but even so I didn't want to take anything lightly.

I got a text message from Faisal telling me to call him whenever I was free, and I replied with "inshallah" in Arabic.

I finished studying maybe an hour later and called him.

"Hala wallah," he said, and I could tell he was happy. I felt guilty, was I supposed to feel this happy with someone so soon? I remembered Zaid and me in Paris, and it was kind of too soon, but maybe we were more compatible than me and Faisal, or were comparable, or maybe we were young. I didn't know. Or maybe I just needed to give Faisal and myself a break and actually put some effort in this relationship.

"Hala feek," I replied.

"Ha kntay tadriseen?" he asked me.

"Ee wallah tawni akhal9," I replied.

"Ee 3afya 3alaich. Al7een mar Starbucks ilsheraton, tabeen shay?" he asked me.

I smiled. "La mashkour matga9ir," I said.

"Afa, wala shay? Latrideeni Omniyah," he said, teasing.

I chuckled. "Umm mashkour, 3ayal tall iced vanilla latte, please," I said.

 I avoided Java chip frappucino and mocha for obvious reasons.

"7a'6er, oo khalti mataby shay?" he asked me.

"La wallah umi 6al3a, mashkour," I said. My mom went to my grandparents' house, thankfully.

"Yallah 3ayal rubi3 sa3a ana 3ndich inshallah," he said.

"Inshallah, mashkour Z-Faisal," I said.

I couldn't believe I nearly blurted out Zaid.

"7ayach ishda3wa," he said before hanging up.

I sat in the living room and told the maid to expect Faisal in fifteen minutes with my drink.

Out

Faisal texted, and I sent the maid to pickup my order.

Thank you a lot!

"He give me this," my maid said as she handed me my drink.

I wondered if Faisal was truly the good guy he looked to be. He didn't even seem like the type to talk to girls, shakla he'd been waiting to talk to one. He bought me Starbucks after a week of knowing me. It was no Cartier or Chanel, but it was something.

I trusted my instincts to continue with Faisal, since he was heads over heels with me, maybe I'd be feeling something with him too if I gave him a chance.

/

"Layal tara warana the texts tara," I told Layal who was sprawled on my bed looking at old magazines and yearbooks.

"Giltlich ana bas wee oo wallah bakhal9a gable ilfayir. Intay just print bacher " she said nonchalantly as she casually flipped the page of the yearbook.

"Inzain latshoufeen the yearbook 9wari araf," I told her.

"Wallah kntay etshawgeen!" Layal said. "Wait mnu Dhari Al-Y?" she said.

"Layal mu 9ij," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"La2 9ij ya3ni ma3ndikum wayid awkward teenagers," she said.

"Oo shlon ilwa'63 b mixed schools ya3ni wayid dating oo chithi?" she asked. She was way too interested.

"Tara wallah ilwa'63 mu gossip girl," I said. She rolled her eyes.

"I know bas fee suwalif mn ta7at lay ta7at."

"Akeed," I said. I gulped. Did she know about me and Zaid?

"So Lulu oo Sarah kanaw your best friends?" she asked me as she looked at their pictures.

"Intay a7la if that makes you happy," she said.

"Ugh please latqarneeni feehum." I said.

"Thiqa much?" she said.

"La bas ma7bhum."

"Oo minu Yousif?" she asked.

"Youzay, oo already 3nda wa7da," I said.

"No shit," she said.

"Tara ma3ndikum wayid hot guys b duf3atkum. Oo mnu Zaid Al-M?" she asked.

Tanna7t.

"Um wa7id ma3ay," I said.

"Wow 9ij?" she replied sarcastically. Faj2a shhigat.

"Ubai wait Zaid Al-M? Zaid Zaid?" she asked me.

"Hatha isma, ee?" I said.

"Chathaba ubaaaaai," she said as she brought the book closer to her face. Shlsalfa?

"Layoul shfeech? Et3arfeena?" I said.

 "Ubay la7'6a la7'6a latgouleenli hatha Zaid mal ilvideo!" she said.

I cocked my brow.

"Video shinu?" I said.

"Chathaba masima3tay bilvideo?" she said as she fished out her phone.

"Layal ay video?" I said, more serious.

"Digeega n6ray bas khal a6al3a," she said, scolding me. With every second I felt bile rise up my throat from worrying so much about the video that I didn't know about.

"Okay bas latraweena a7ad l2ana my cousin 6arishatliya her friend kanat m9awrita oo 7alifatni I don't forward it," she said as she pressed play.

It was the dinner party, apparently after I'd left. There wasn't anyone but Yousif, Zaid, Haya, a girl b my grade who probably showed up super late to the dinner party, and I guessed Fatma, the source, taking the video.

"Inzain yallah!" Fatma said as she drummed her hands on the table.

Zaid appeared in the video, and my heart sped up.

"Jahiz?" Yousif said. He nodded while chuckling and closed his eyes.

"Yallah," Zaid told Yousif while laughing. I put my hand to my lips, what was going on?

Yousif grabbed Zaid's head and forced his face onto the cake, pressing his face onto it. There was a roar of laughter all around as Zaid raised his head to reveal his face full of chocolate cake while he was laughing.

Haya laughed next to him and slid her finger across his cheek, wiping the icing off, and licked her finger clean while the four of them cracked up at her gesture.

"Hayoun wait wait no hands," Fatma said from behind the camera to the girl, and Yousif "Woo"ed while Haya and Zaid cracked up.

"Yallah I dare you," Zaid said.

Haya looked around to check for anyone else while laughing and pulled her hair back as she actually bent towards Zaid's face and scraped some of the cake off his face with her teeth. It was horrifying to watch, but I couldn't lift my eyes off the screen.

"Ya ju7a g3day bas," Zaid said as he pulled Haya towards him and she fell on his lap.

"A777," Yousif said while laughing and Haya tried to act "shy" as she tried to get up from Zaid's lap but it seemed like Zaid actually pulled her towards him.

"Tara lail7een 3alaih cake," Fatma said to Haya.

"Et'hagain?" Haya said with a shy laugh. She dipped her head and removed some icing off his right cheek with her lips and tongue, but then Zaid moved his face quickly so their lips would collide and once they did everyone roared in laughter while Haya pulled back embarrassingly and laughed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

I didn't realize how infuriated I was until my tears dropped onto the phone screen. What was going on with him?

"Niyah ubai sorry walalh mu qa9di aza3lich," she said. "Ma knt adri t3arfeena."

How did he do that? How did he lie to my face?

"6arsheeli the video," I told her as I wiped the tears from my face.

"Umm Niyah 7ala-"

"Layal please," I told her and she took her phone to forward the video to me.

"Tabeen inkaml ilproject bacher il9b7? Ayeech bl 8?" she asked. I nodded.

"Wallah sorry Layal bas kilish maly khlg shay," I told her.

She told me not to worry as she picked up her things and said goodbye before leaving.

I took a deep breath and forwarded Layal's video to Zaid.
I waited for him to see it, which took ten minutes until there were two blue checks.

Zaid is typing 

***

Two-post Tuesday:) Next post at 6:30 PM! x

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (38)

Saturday,

"Yuma bas chini ta3abt?" I told my mom as we went shopping in Avenues. We'd been shopping for almost five hours with barely any breaks. I got like five bags worth of clothes and accessories since I needed new clothing sizes.

"Ee wallah 7ata ana, wain tabeen nit3asha?" she asked me.

"Kaifich," I told her.

"Maki?" she suggested, and I nodded. I loved Japanese food, and it was right above us.

We dragged ourselves to the elevator and finally to Maki, where we ordered without looking at the menu because we were famished.

"Quickly please," my mom added to the waiter.

"Way 3ayazt," I told my mom as I stretched my legs.

"Hatha 3an sina ba3ad latgouleen tabeen shopping rou7ay brou7ich!" she told me and I chuckled as I sipped on my water. I opened up Snapchat just to pass time and distract my loud stomach, I was so hungry. My mom was on her phone too, catching up with five hours' worth of messages.

The waiter brought my salmon nigiri and I began to slurp it down as I looked at Snapchat, and I nearly choked at a selfie in Sarah's story.

There they were, like eight people all together in the picture sitting together and smiling: Sarah, Lulu, Nouf, Fatma, Abdullah, Zaid, Yousif, 7amani (Lulu's brother), and some girl I didn't know with dark wavy hair, a perfect tan and a bright smile sitting next to Zaid. Sarah took a selfie of them all in Zaid's chalet. 

Akramkum allah Al-M!

She added to her story. I realized that the girl I didn't recognize was probably Zaid's cousin.

Awalan what were they doing in Zaid's chalet? I was hoping his cousin invited the girls while he invited the guys and they just became a group especially after yesterday's reunion dinner. I felt so excluded and like such a loser. I probably would've been with them had nothing happened between me and Lulu. Or if Faisal never showed up. Our next meeting was supposedly next week, and I was dead nervous like it was the first time.

"Omniyah? Shfeech?" my mom suddenly said worriedly as I looked at the picture for too long, the whole ten seconds apparently.

"Umm la walashay," I told her with a smile.

The waiter brought my mom's beef teriyaki and my shrimp sushi, which I finished in like a minute.

"Lat8i9een," my mom said as I chewed on a mouthful of sushi.

"Tabeen tshoufeen ma7al thani wala khala9?" my mom asked. I shook my head. We'd done enough shopping to last me ten years.

"La2 mashkoura," I told her.

I opened Snapchat again to see Sarah's snap again but only she'd posted a video of Abdullah, who did a dare of jumping off the first floor of the chalet and landed on a trampoline. And another video of Lulu and Nouf trying to eat ice-cream by the liter and screaming from the brain-freeze as a dare as well.

I kind of wanted to be part of their group; they did look like they were having the time of their lives.

Sarah updated her story and I waited at least two minutes to see it just so I wouldn't look so desperate.

"Yallah namshi?" my mom said as she picked up the bags, and I stuffed my phone in my pocket while I picked up the rest of my bags.

We walked all the way to the parking, and I fished out my phone just as I got seated in the car.

Sarah had posted a video of Zaid saying something and smiling, I couldn't really hear what she was saying and I could't really listen with my mom next to me so I waited to see the snap when I got back home. I suddenly felt sick; like I felt so sick at the fact of losing a person I'd thought I knew and sick at the thought that the new person was someone else's. It didn't make sense but that was exactly how I was feeling; overprotective of something that was gone.

We finally reached the house and I ran to my room with all the bags weighing me down as I threw them on the floor. I quickly closed the door and sat on my bed as I opened Sarah's story and skipped to the part with Zaid.

"Umm al7een ildare inna," he suddenly broke into laughter and there was background laughter as well. He suddenly jumped back and into the cold water of the swimming pool behind him and began to scream that it was freezing. I found myself laughing as well; I put my phone away and changed into my pajamas and opened my laptop to watch a movie. Only my mind was somewhere else.

Was he treating another girl the way he treated me? Did he move on? Was he with Lulu? A cloud of questions formed into my mind and I couldn't find the answer to. All I knew was;

He was not my Zaid.
Well one thing for sure was that I was not his Omniyah anymore.

***

Sorry if this is short, but tomorrow's two-post Tuesday inshallah so I'll definitely make up for it.:) 

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (37)

I stayed in bed and played music while I went on twitter, snapchat, and instagram since I was not feeling sleepy at all.

My mom told me that Faisal and his mother were coming over in two days, which was way too soon for me, but whatever, I had nothing to lose. Plus I really did need to move on.

Best reunion ever with @anfalkaln @niyahals @jenaaanalw @deemanalr :*

Nada had mentioned me in a tweet, which was so sweet of her. I favorited and quote tweeted with a bunch of heart emojis, I wondered why we never were close friends in high school. She was a really sweet person, but then again I'd thought I had a group of friends that were everything.

I went on Snapchat, which was filled of pictures of the reunion dinner. Nada had spammed 9ij, so did Sarah, but Sarah's last picture really...got a reaction from me.

It was of Abdullah and Zaid laughing with chocolate all over their faces, while Nouf, Lulu, and Fatma were laughing hard behind them. Sarah had captioned it with "racists?" 

I couldn't handle anything more; it was such an eventful two days that I really needed to sleep it off. I guess it will also be eventful in two days as well when I finally get to meet Faisal. 

/

Nothing said Tuesday mornings more than a bowl of sugary cereal in front of the television. I finished my 8 AM morning class and had my 5 PM class cancelled, which was perfect since Faisal and his mother were coming over at around 5:30 PM (I was planning on skipping the class anyway).

"Yallah ana mashya," my mom said as she walked past me b the living room.

"Wain ray7a?" I asked her.

"Barou7 ashtery 97oun yedad malotna enharaw," my mom said before taking off with a wave.

"Ee yumma sh9ar 3ala Essa?" I asked her, I was seriously worried.

"Wallah gelt badig 3ala khalta ashouf shlona," she said with a reassuring smile. I nodded. I really hoped he would recover soon.

"Oh yumma barou7 il9al7iya bas basheel mu'63idi," I told her.

"Ay mu'63ad?" she asked.

I showed her my wrist.

"Mu gltay taqleed?" she asked me.

I froze; that was so dumb of me not to remember.

"Umm ee bas matafrig ma3ahun, 3ndihum iltools," I said, 7awalt aragi3 but I could tell she wasn't buying it but didn't have the time to interrogate.

"Ebsir3a lata2ikhirain 3ala il'3ada," she said before she left. I nodded and quickly changed into a beige dress and white sandals while applying minimal makeup as I got in my car.

It was about time I removed the bracelet; although I got used to it after such a long time.

I parked through valet as I left my car to go to the Cartier boutique.

"Yeah hi, I lost the kit and I want to take the bracelet off, please," I told the salesman who greeted me.

He nodded and told me to wait before getting the tools and unscrewed the bracelet until my wrist was free; of the bracelet and of Zaid

I got out of the shop with my bracelet in my bag and with relief, and partially guilt. It was from Paris; when we'd first met each other. When he spoiled me and he'd just known me.
I was so naive back then, and that Zaid was long gone.

We were both new people, and I had yet to meet a new person.

/

"7a6aitay klonya?" my mom asked me as I fixed my lipstick in the mirror.

"Ee yuma," I replied. Khalti Salwa had texted that they were ten minutes away, which sent my mom into panic mode even if there was nothing to panic about. The house smelled like bukhoor and was well cleaned and organized, plus we both had our looks and outfits ready so there was nothing to worry about really. She was more nervous than I was, or maybe I was too nervous that I barely even felt it.

My mom's phone buzzed and my heart got stuck in my throat; it was time.

I sat on the couch and exhaled as my mom opened the door for khalti Salwa and Faisal. I saw khalti Salwa walk towards me with a large smile on her face and she nearly squeezed me in a hug that I couldn't breathe. I then heard a "ilsalam 3alaykum" from a guy, Faisal.

He wore a dishdasha and looked a bit different that what I'd expected. He was kind of pale-ish with super dark hair but he had friendly eyes and an equally friendly smile.

"W 3alaykum ilsalam," I replied with a soft smile.

"Omniyah hatha Faisal, Faisal hathi Omniyah," khalti Salwa said. Oh god this was awkward already.

"Hala wallah shlonich?" he asked me. I replied, miraculously, and sat again, only he sat in the couch in front of me while my mom and khalti Salwa sat on the couches a bit farther than me.

"Fa tadriseen b jam3at ilkwait?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Ee na3am, handasat petrol," I replied.

He smiled. "Mashallah 3alaich, ana mtkharij mn jam3at ilkwait bas 9aydala," he said.

"Mashallah, wain tishti'3il?" I asked him. He replied somewhere in jabriya then asked me where I was going to work in the future.

It was basic talking, like we didn't spend too long on one subject. He was a really good listener even though I felt weird talking to him, for some reason, and he was a great conversationalist. I tried to push comparisons between him and Zaid far back in my mind. Besides, there was no need for comparisons, Zaid was already gone.

"Yallah fur9a sa3eeda, Omniyah," he said with a smile as he stood up.

"Ana as3ad," I replied as I stood up to kiss khalti Salwa goodbye. We both said our goodbyes and I stood awkwardly in the reception waiting for them to leave.

"Ha shlona?" my mom asked just when she closed the door. I bet they heard her ask me, but I bet khalti Salwa asked him too.

"Umm wallah madri ya3ni mbayyin khosh wa7id," I told her.

"Inzain mafahamt," my mom replied sarcastically yet bluntly. "Ya3ni tabeen tshoufeena mara thanya wala laa?"

"Umm ee okay," I said.

"Omniyah rayal mu filim, ya3ni agoul 7ag umma okay wala tabeen wagt etfakreen? Kaifich," she said.

I bit my lip decisively. "Ya3ni gouleelha okay."

I took a deep breath and realized what I'd done, but maybe it was meant to be.





***

Back to posting, thank you guys for waiting and understanding! xx

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison

Don't Forget Me (36)

We arrived at the restaurant and my mom nzalat ma3ay, oh God this was a bad idea right now. It was so awkward and I already was so nervous about going in.

"Yuma chinni hawant," I said as I turned to walk back into the car.

"Rou7ay yallah klhum 9af6een," she said, commenting on the dozen of sports cars and other fancy ones.

"Imshay ayi ma3ach bser3a oo arou7."

We walked to the entrance of the restaurant together and the waiter guided us in once I showed him my invitation for the high school reunion dinner party. I had to go downstairs to the dinner party, and I was glad no one saw me...with my mom checking out to see if the party was appropriate or not.

It was dim and there was a lot of balloons with the colors of our school logo, plus the lights were also color-coordinated. The restaurant was reserved just for us and it looked fancy as hell. Almost everyone was seated at a really long dinner table, and there were only like five empty chairs. I could only see heads and the top of ga7afi, so I didn't know who I was going to sit next to.

"Yallah amurich 3ala il9 oo ni9?" my mom said, and I nodded as I gulped.

I was almost twenty-two years old, I should be old enough to go to a dinner party. I waved my mother goodbye and took the elevator down instead of the stairs so people wouldn't stare while I went down, since ildaray jidamhum blthab6.

I exhaled and walked out of the elevator and towards the dining table, plastering a very nervous smile to my face as I waved to my old classmates. A couple of girls got up and hugged me, they were the regular friends/acquaintances I talked to at breaks between classes and stuff. I could see the other side of the table trying to figure out who I was but soon turned around when they realized it wasn't one of their "possy". I was sure they all went to college together. It was weird how people who barely knew each other in high school became good friends in college.

"Niyah oh my god etshawgeen, walhana 3alaich!" a Saudi-Kuwaiti girl, Nada said as I hugged her. I actually really missed her!

"Intay ba3ad, thank you!" I told her.

"Hi Anfal, shlonich?" I said to another girl seated next to Nada. I was surprised I still remembered their names.

I said hi to Ahmed and a couple of his friends who were seated next to the girls side of the table, while I looked around for other people.

Sarah and Lulu sat next to each other with Nouf and some other popular girls in front of them yam the guys. Lulu was wearing a semi-revealing dress that made Nouf's sleeveless dress look like nothing. I guessed they didn't notice me or noticed me and didn't care. The guys were a bit far away so I couldn't really see them.

I took a seat at the end of table in front of a tag with my name on it; I was glad to be placed next to a couple of my old Chemistry lab classmates. There was a cute menu on my plate too.

"Ahlan, shlonkum? Mn zman 3ankum!" I said as I chatted with them. A lot of them were in private universities and were surprised that I was in petroleum engineering, let alone in KU.

I was still stunned from the random proposal, especially now that I knew his name, and the dinner party that I was surprised I managed a couple of logical sentences.

"Bas khala9? Hatha e7na?" an old classmate, Abdullah, said as he looked around. He really grew taller and more mature. Four years did wonders for the guys, and the girls. Almost everyone grew out of their awkward phase.

The waiters, who were like ten, brought in the appetizers and I chose to have a mushroom soup as I was still cold despite the heating of the restaurant.

I tried to look at the other side of the table where the guys were, but it was such a huge table I could only see a couple of faces, and none of them were "remarkable".

"Adri 7asafa wayid nas nag9een," Nada commented.

I smiled. "Bas chinna bas four people, 9a7? Mnu nag9?" I asked her.

"Umm Sa3ad Al-T, Rana Al-W, Zaid Al-M, oo chinna Dana Al-R," she said. She'd always been smart.

"Oh 7asafa," I could only say.

"Yallah 3ala ilaqal mu3'6amna ehni," she said with a cheerful smile, and I smiled in return.

"Hey 3ndich snapchat?" she asked me as she pulled out her phone. I nodded and began to add her.

We finished from the appetizer and onto the main course of veal picatta and a side of mashed potatoes for me. It was so good; I'd never tasted a more soft piece of veal. I had a bit of Nada's pasta Alfredo, which was delicious as well. I wondered how much this all cost.

"Mnu msawe il7afla? Ana yatni elda3wa 3an 6areeq Fatma Al-N," I asked Nada as I bit on my veal.

"Oh fikrat Fatma, Nouf oo Abdullah chinna. Bas kanaw b student council fa 3amleen ili7sab mn zman," Nada said with a chuckle and I nodded understandingly.

"Bas ilakil latheeth 9ij," I commented and the girls agreed.

We finished from our main courses, and all our plates were shiny clean because it was that good.

"Allah aku molten chocolate cake 7ag dessert," Sherifa, a girl next to Nada commented as she looked at the menu in front of her.

"Ana mshawgatni the lemon tart," I told them and they made a face while I laughed. Today was definitely a cheat day!

"Et3arfoun wain il7amam?" I asked them, and they shrugged unknowingly. I'd had way too much water just to calm my nerves, as if it was alcohol. I walked away from the table and got kind of lost until I asked the waiter for the bathroom.

"Next to the elevator," he told me.

I finally found it and it was fortunately empty. I was kind of worried I'd run into someone in the bathroom, which I really hated.
I washed my hands and checked my reflection, everything was looking good but I reapplied my lipstick since it was almost totally faded.

I walked out of the bathroom and almost ran into someone walking out of the elevator.

"Ubai asfa!" I exclaimed.

"La walaw," Zaid said, not paying attention to who I was.

Zaid...

"Umm," I tried to say, still staring at him under the dim light, and I was sure he noticed who he was talking to.

Oh God I missed him, his scent, his laugh, his smile, the way he used to look at me. I shouldn't be thinking this, I was about to be engaged.

"7a6aw il3asha?" he simply asked me, saving me from my humiliation, or maybe ga3d yragi3 but that was a great attempt. One year later and that was all he said to me?

But then again we did end it with a fight.

"Khala9na 3asha bidaina 7ilu," I replied, almost robotically. Shit, I just realized he might take it the wrong way.

"Aha," he said and I walked away from him awkwardly. Perfect.

I didn't even notice what he looked like or what he wore from the shock I'd gotten.

I heard a couple of "woo'"s as he walked in and a lot of people from the table suddenly got up to greet him; madry sh6ari 3alaihum. It was probably because he looked good, like ridiculously good, even better than usual. He was well groomed and had a light stubble and his qitra was well placed.

He was smiling as he greeted guys and girls alike warmly, and I suddenly felt jealous. He just asked me if we finished dinner. What the hell was his deal? I tried to convince myself I was over him; and I needed to get over him since I was meeting Faisal soon.

I sat at my seat again and exhaled while I tried to clear my mind. I had no right to be enraged, I mean my brother is the one who should be enraged. I was worried about him but I was sure my mom didn't want me to visit him until he was fully recovered, whenever that happened. Poor kid.

"Tara 6alabnalich lemon tart," Nada told me with a smile.

"Oh mashkoura," I said. I suddenly had no appetite.

I texted my mom if she could get me right now as I was really not feeling well, and she replied back almost immediately.

She couldn't until 9:30, because she was at my grandmother's gathering. Just perfect.

Our desserts arrived and I just grazed at my lemon tart, which smelled really good but I ate just so I wouldn't be rude. I just listened to the other conversations while my mind was elsewhere, and before I knew it it was 9 PM and everyone was getting ready to leave.

"Yallah bye Niyah, 3ad wa3deenna ha?" Nada said as she hugged me.

"Inshallah matwa9een," I told her with a chuckle.

The girls thanked the organizers of the party before leaving the dinner table to go upstairs together. The table was almost half empty and I scooted to talk to Ahmed and his funny and geeky friends, but I got a closer view of the guys's side, and Zaid, who was laughing and having a great time with the guys and girls.

It was like Paris, only this time he was more vibrant and alive, and I couldn't help thinking that maybe I was the one who brought him down.

"Alas, my time has come," Ahmed said as he stood up from the table, with his friends, who thanked the organizers again and said bye to the rest of the people. I was now stuck at a table with the guys, plus Zaid, Lulu, Sarah, Nouf, and her friends. AKA my least favorite people at the table, and I took it as a sign for me to leave.

"Yallah ma3a ilsalama," I said as I stood up, awkwardly only Abdullah listened to me while everyone else was busy chatting. I figured I'd send them a message.

"Mashkoureen wayid 3ala il3asha oo maga9artaw," I added.

"7ayach mashkoura 3ala ilyaya," he said as I left the table and walked to the elevator on the other side.

It was just 9:15, shasawe b those fifteen minutes upstairs? Time was just too slow over here.

I got out of the elevator and sat in the waiting area that overlooked the dinner table and I could see them, maybe ten people, including Sarah, Nouf, Zaid, Lulu, Abdullah, Yousif, and their friends talking and laughing so hard about something.

I didn't expect Lulu and Sarah to be the type to hang out with guys, I guessed college changed them. Changed everyone, maybe it changed me too but I didn't really feel any different.

I sighed as I saw Zaid leaning on his chair and placing an arm on the empty chair next to him while laughing and chatting with the guys and the girls.

He too seemed different, and maybe it was definitely a sign for me to move on.

***

Sorry to say I won't be able to post for the next three days as I will be extremely occupied! Meanwhile I'd love to hear your comments!:) xx

twitter: @cashmerepoison

ask.fm/xcashmerepoison