Apologies for the slow-ish chapter, but it does pick up in later parts I promise!
Happy reading,
Cashmere
***
Every day with him felt like a blur. Yaqoub, that was.
We got so lost in time that we were late to work two days in a row. I couldn’t get enough of him, and I hoped he felt the same way about me.
“It’s sad I won’t see you tomorrow. Sunday seems so far away, doesn’t it?” Yaqoub told me at our usual pre-work cafe.
“It does.”
I could take a day off work. Cut my honeymoon shorter by one day. I didn’t tell him yet.
I never imagined that the same man who had helped me during a car crash would also be the one to take my breath away.
“Want to head back?” I said, looking at the time.
“Sure,” he said reluctantly. “You should wear maroon more often. It suits you,” he said, eyeing my long sleeved shirt and gray slacks.
“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said with a wink.
He looked deliciously handsome in his traditional attire. His light stubble complemented his already stunning face, adding a touch of charm. Those mesmerizing hazel eyes behind his glasses were captivating, like drowning in honey.
“I’ll see you Sunday, Zaina,” he said as he entered his building. He gave me one last glance before he walked away.
My stomach was churning with butterflies. I had to end this before it consumed me. I wasn’t ready to do so.
*
I hated Wednesday evenings. I hated my time with Talal. Every second felt like an hour. It was awkward; forced even. We were barely progressing. There was no warmth yet, and I knew there wouldn’t be.
“How are you habeebi?” my mother said, interrupting our sit down session. He stood up and kissed her cheeks.
My stomach ached, and nausea made my mouth fill with sickly saliva. How could I possibly call it off?
“I’m good, Auntie. How are you?” he asked her.
I watched them get along a bit too well. I was the odd one in the conversation. The wrong piece of the puzzle.
I composed a text to Yaqoub, ignoring the shame that settled in my body.
Guess I need the day off tomorrow, too.
Can I join u?
I stuffed my phone in my pocket, my dirty little secret.
I felt it go off in my pocket, one buzz after the other but I didn’t dare see them.
I saved them as a treat, a reward for sitting through yet another boring sit-down with Talal.
*
That Thursday morning had a different meaning.
I had the milcha later that night, but more importantly; it was my day off with Yaqoub.
Thought you’d never ask.
Yes. Would make my day off much better :)
I just have practice at 9 am. Want to meet me after it?
I told him I’d meet him after his racing session at ten. Little did he know I was already on my way to see him practice.
I parked my car in the parking lot at ten past nine. Not too bad. I could hear the sound of the racing car, getting louder and louder with each step I took.
His electric blue car spun around the circuit, and it was only after two laps did he finally stop to see me in front of him.
I placed my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose. I knew I looked hot in my pair of skinny jeans and leather jacket over a tight black top, bringing out my curves. My thick black hair was up in a ponytail, freshly curled.
“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” he asked me, taking off his helmet. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to looking at him.
“I might be,” I said with a smile.
“Rahim. Get a helmet,” he yelled at one of the workers on standby.
“Get in,” Yaqoub told me, opening the door to his car. I furrowed my brow at him.
“I’ll spin you around,” he said, putting his helmet back on. Rahim came back with a helmet for me this time, and a hairnet.
“Are you serious?” I asked Yaqoub.
“Of course,” he said, holding the steering wheel. I took a deep breath and placed the hairnet first before covering my head with a helmet.
I could see Yaqoub smiling at me once I got into the car. I hoped I looked hot to him, too.
“Is it bad?” I blurted out, and he laughed.
“You’ve never looked better,” he told me, smiling. “Are you ready?” he asked me just as I buckled up.
“Not too fast,” I said, and my stomach tightened just as he hit the gas.
I let out a scream, but it was too loud for him to hear my laugh, at least I’d like to think so.
He pressed the gas, and I slowly became more comfortable, still holding on for dear life.
I never imagined we’d reach this speed so quickly. It was exhilarating and thrilling. The sound of the car roared in my ears, and I clung on tightly at every turn.
“You good?” he yelled, focused on the track.
“Is this all you got?” I yelled back and he laughed, and suddenly we were speeding even more, and a scream escaped my lips.
Okay, enough! I’m sorry, I yelled, laughing at the thrill coursing through me. My stomach was somersaulting upwards, and my breath caught in my throat. It wasn’t until he finally slowed down that I was able to catch my breath again.
“That was insane,” I said with a laugh, taking off my helmet and stupidly embarrassing hairnet.
“That was me being gentle, by the way,” he said, taking his off.
“Show off,” I said, rolling my eyes and he laughed. The little space between us thrummed with electricity. His eyes locked onto mine, and our smiles faded, giving way to something more serious.
The only sounds were our breaths catching.
“I—I have something to tell you,” he said, glancing briefly at my lap before meeting my eyes again. Was he secretly engaged, too?
“What?” I felt my face fall, ready to be disappointed.
He gulped, and as each passing second increased my tension.
“I-I don’t know where this is going between us,” he began, looking out of the window. “I really like you, Zaina,” he said.
I was too nervous to feel anything because there was a caveat. I didn’t say anything back; I let him finish.
“I don’t think it’s fair to you to not mention that I’m…different than you,” he said. “I’m not from the family you that you had in mind. I’m not related to them,” he said. I looked at him, confused.
“I’m from a completely different social background. I don’t know if this is of any value to you,” he said, crushing my heart. “But I don’t want to promise you a future that won’t exist,” he said. He was serious about us.
He was also talking about social compatibility. I gulped, and nodded.
I couldn’t do this to him, but I didn’t get enough of him, not yet. I shook my head.
“I don’t care,” I found myself saying. I thought I did. It took one man to change my mind.
“What about your family?” he asked me. I shrugged.
“They kind of don’t care either,” I lied. They cared the most.
I don’t know why I lied, but I wasn’t ready to let go. He was this only thing I looked forward to, the only thing that felt right, even if it was wrong.
I sensed his body relax; all of his muscles softened against his seat and his lips lifted in a smile.
“But thank you for being honest with me,” I said with a smile.
“Always,” he replied with a smile. He tentatively placed his hand over mine, testing the water, but I let him. I welcomed him, even. Our fingers meshed together. I could almost feel his heartbeat in the palm of my hand.
I didn’t deserve someone like him.
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