Heart on Lock *3*

Talal’s visits were usually at home, but because my mother was away she’d advised us to see each other outside the house, somewhere very secluded since we weren’t public yet. And I hoped we wouldn’t be for a long time. 

I sighed and left my car, wearing a blazer set, which was too overdressed for the random Costa in Salmiya which was where we frequented. So far we hadn’t seen anyone we knew of. It was quiet, and usually empty, but also disgustingly cold and void of any intimacy. It was more corporate than personal. 

Talal sat with his laptop in front of him, and two drinks on the table. Mine and his. I waited for excitement, for a rush, for the blur they usually spoke of when seeing someone who filled their heart with desire. I got nothing. 

“Hello,” I said, and he stood up, greeting me with a handshake. He was formal like that.

“How are you?” he asked as I sat in front of him, sipping my coffee that  I started to hate.

“I’m good. Are you busy?” I said, omitting my crash over the weekend. Omitting my savior. 

“No, I’m almost done,” he said, before shutting the screen of his laptop down. “How’s your bother?” 

I cleared my throat. “He’s okay,” I said. Truth is I hadn’t talked to him in a while. My parents just updated me with any progress, but other than that he should be fine.

He nodded. 

“How’s work?”

Ugh. Here we go again. 

“It’s good. How is it with you?” I asked. 

“Good,” he said, tapping his phone screen to check the time. “Did you go to the chalet last weekend?”

I shook my head. “No. Just stayed in,” I said. He nodded. “You?” I asked, because we both secretly believe that none of us ask that many questions.

“Yes I went. It was okay,” he said. God, I could poke a knife in my eye with where this conversation was headed. “So, my mother asked me; when are you thinking of announcing the engagement?” 

I gulped.

“I-I’m not sure, I’ll see what my mom says,” I replied, like a child. How was I supposed to get married?

I wanted this secret thing to hold out for as long as possible, until he called it quits. I hoped he did. I saw nothing but a mundane, cookie-cutter relationship with him: bland, boring, and maybe with a few affairs on his end thrown into the mix. He’d have to have someone he’s serious about, someone his mother doesn’t approve of. I was sure of it, otherwise my personality was as colorful as cardboard. I had nothing to offer him.

 

“She’s back Saturday night, isn’t she?” he asked me. I raised a brow.

“I—I’m not sure,” I said, chuckling. My mother just randomly came back; she’d never announce it. 

“Yeah, she told my mom yesterday. She’ll only be here like a week,” he said, sounding like he, too, finds it weird that I didn’t know. 

“Oh yeah, sorry, I remember now,” I said with  an awkward chuckle, but he didn’t seem to believe me. We were good at pretending at that point. It seemed to be our silent agreement. 

There was an awkward silence between us, one I hoped he'd break through breaking up with me. I waited, held my breath, ready for his defeat, but all I got was an awkward smile before he took another sip of his drink. 

I couldn't do it either. 

*

I arrived home almost an hour and fifteen minutes later, staying an hour only at the coffee shop. He didn't seem to object when I stood up either. It was getting awkward and I hoped that he'd tell me that he wanted to call it off that evening. 

I parked my Ferrari in the underground parking, and was surprised to see a suitcase by the elevator. My mother usually came back with a minimum of four every time. 

"Zaina?" I heard my younger brother Razzaq call out. 

"Razzaq, you're back!" I yelled out, and he appeared in to view, pulling me into a hug even though I last saw him a week ago.

"Yeah, I told you," he said, pulling away. 

"Huh, yeah, I think you did," I replied. "I honestly thought Mama came back," I added, looking at the suitcases.

"No. She went back like just three weeks ago," he said. 

"According to Talal, she should be coming Saturday evening. That's what she told his mother," I said with crossed arms and a raised brow. He cocked his brow, too.

"Why doesn't she bother telling us? I don't get it," Razzaq said, walking up the stairs with me. I shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Anyway, how's Talal?" Razzaq asked, smiling softly at me.

Razzaq, just two years my junior, was my best friend. It was just us two together for six years until Zaid came along, and then the twins just a year later; back to back. I'd like to think that was when my family kind of...fell apart in some way. It was never the same again.

Still, despite our proximity and closeness I couldn't tell him the truth about Talal. He'd be crushed, and he'd look at him in a different light if we did get married ––he'd hate him. 

"He's good, yeah, it's going great," I said, adding some chirp to my voice as I turned the knob of my door open. Thankfully, Razzaq didn't press any further, because he was more focused on my reaction to the Chanel bag on my bed.

My jaw dropped. "What did you get me?" I said, opening the box inside the bag. It was a pair of really cute Chanel boots, since my original ones got ruined through the wrong cleaning materials.

"You didn't!" I almost yelled, and threw my arms around him. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

He laughed and patted my back. "You're a size thirty-eight, aren't you?"

"You did your research," I said.

"Of course I did," he replied. "I'll go check on the twins. I'm also getting pizza, any requests?"

"Whatever you're ordering," I said with a shrug, slipping on my boots.

They were a perfect fit. 

*

Saturday,

I skipped breakfast with my friends for the race.

I got my hair done, and applied some light makeup, not to look too dolled up, but not too plain, anyway. I wore a pair of dark jeans, an oversized leather biker jacket over a Balmain sweater, with my Chanel boots to seal the look. 

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, loving how I looked and hoping it would make up for how distraught I looked after the crash. At least Talal wouldn't be there; he didn't get the deal with racing. I did. That was another "no" from me. I gasped. I forgot about Razzaq. He might be there.

Hey. Do you have anything at 12?

"Jade, my mother is coming tonight, okay?" I told our housekeeper, who nodded. She didn't seem surprised. I guessed she kept the house in ship shape like my mother never even left. 

A cool gust of wind surprises me, and I shiver as I get into my car, promptly turning the heater on.   I plug in the location on Google Maps and make my way to the racing arena not too far from my house. Oddly enough, I don't feel guilty. I still wasn't publicly engaged, and it wasn't like Talal expressed feelings towards me. We only had that in common.

My car came with a perk, which was free parking inside. I guessed they wanted to brag about it, but it was a win-win situation.

"Thank you," I told one of the organizers once I left my car. To be fair, I could've come with a more discreet looking car. I slid my large Celine sunglasses over my face, trying to hide my identity from anyone who'd recognize me just in case they saw me with Yaqoub later.

Yaqoub. I hoped he'd be thrilled that I made it. Unless he thought it was too desperate of me? 

I gulped. 

I checked my phone, and it was a text from Razzaq. 

Going to my friend's chalet. Will be back at 7. Did you need anything?

My body relaxed; he'd never know. 

No, all good! My friend's picking me up. Have fun!

I placed my phone in the pocket of my jeans and walked around the open market a little too quickly. I spotted a few girls and guys I knew, but I made sure not to be seen as I made my way to the bleachers, watching the screen for his name and car.

I sat close to three girls a bit older than I was, but covered the lower half of my face with a scarf. Why was I so paranoid?

Oh wait, because I'd be having the biggest, predicted "it" wedding of the year. They'd talk about seeing me support some random racer who didn't have my future-husband's name. I looked for "Talal" on the screen ––there wasn't any. 

I found Yaqoub's name, along with his electric blue car, then shifted my eyes below to find him outside his car, chatting. I'm a bit too far for him to notice, but if he did look up he'd kind of spot me. 

I lowered my scarf.

I watched him get into his car, readying himself for the start. There were seven other drivers, and he was placed right before the last one. 

The gunshot went off, the checkered flag lowered, and my heart began to race, as did he.

He whirred through the first lap out of twelve. At least he was progressing and wasn't in sixth. I began to smile once I saw him climb up to third in the fifth lap. I thumbed my necklace as I watched him as intently as any F1 race. I was invested. I didn't even check my phone. This was more intense than F1, I thought. 

The crowd and I rose once the last lap's flag lowered. People were screaming the drivers' names like they could hear them, but I kind of understood. I'd act that way if I had the freedom to. I barely knew the man, to be fair. 

My heart sputtered before beating rapidly behind my chest. I watched him make his way to second place, close to first, and he almost got it, he did for a split second before the other driver was able to take his place again.

"No!" I yelled, then gasped at my reaction, but no one noticed. No one cared, anyway. 

Yaqoub won second place. Good enough.

I watched him get out of his car; there was something attractive about him in a helmet and suit, but he was even hotter once he took his helmet off and raked a hand through his thick hair, smiling at another guy, who hugged him. 

He didn't look up, and he barely even looked around. Was he not interested to know whether or not I showed up?

I stood up from my seat and stepped down, close to the circuit. I swiftly took off my sunglasses as I watched him walk to a more secluded area, where I seized my chance, walking his direction until I caught up, but he wasn't aware. 

"Second place, not bad," I said with a smile, surprising him. He turned around, and his lips parted into a wide smile. 

"I could've won first if I knew you were here," he replied, and I laughed, feeling warmth spread through me despite the cold.

"You didn't think I'd come?" I said, cocking my head. He shrugged. 

"I didn't know what to expect. I guess I do now," he said with a smile. Another heatwave pulses through. 

There was a pause between us, filled just by the screeches of tires, and music from the arena. It did not feel awkward at all. 

"I hope you're not leaving already," he said, serious now. I shrugged. 

"I'm leaving after the podium ceremony," I told him.

"Do you want to get a coffee after to celebrate?" he asked. 

I smiled. 

"I'd love to."